Alright. See that username up there? That username is as much as a lie as the God-damn cake. I am in fact a male, although my friends might tell you different.
The name's Ben, honey. I'm telling you this because you'll be screaming it all ni-
Nathan: Finish your profile, Ben, like a good boy.
Ben: Yes, dearest.
Anyway, I'm gay. Points for rhyming? No? Whatever. *insert emo hair flip*
The reason the username here is because this account used to belong to my aunt. I'm taking over while she makes babies.
Ben: What? You know it's true.
I'm currently dating the best Japanese-Canadian boy on the planet. Nathan, m'boy, tell them about how pretty you are.
Nathan: Remember when I asked you out? I'm regretting that, now...
Ignore him. I live in a country called Canada, children. It's where the moose roam free and the streets are paved with pavement-coloured gold.
I can't even type that with a straight face...
It sucks here. Seriously. If you're thinking about moving here, take your gay smut and run.
I listen to My Chemical Romance like like Charlie Sheen is winning. ALL. THE DAMN. TIME.
Except when I'm listening to Marianas Trench, Panic! at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Alesana, Mindless Self Indulgence, Billy Talent...
Nathan: Benjamin, shut it.
Ben: Yes, sir.
I IZ A WRITER. Y'all check this shit out. It's gonna get sexy in here for a minute.
BOW CHICKA WOW-WOW!
Ben: Nate? Where're you going?
Nathan: To find a psychiatrist.
Ben: That didn't work last time, remember? The guy took one look inside my head and had a mental breakdown. Nate? Naaate?
Ben: Holy shit, he actually left...