Review for A Day's Moment
The child has a name! I'm not good at all when it comes to names, so I had nothing planned for him. And Shinobiko is very appropriate, especially with the way you've explained how he was named (or not named). Nothing wrong with a little --or a lot, really-- fluff in this series. It wouldn't do for little Shin to get too dark and angsty, then he'd just turn out into a mini-Sasuke angster.
Yasua is another interesting character, especially with the hints of there being more to her abilities than even she might know. The thing that I really love though, is the way Shikamaru's actions have effected his relationship with the others. This has really turned into a wonderful series.
I personally thought that "ninja kid" sounded better in Japanese than any "Night Blooming Moon Sword", or significant-y name like that, so "ninja kid" I have dubbed him. And Shika is lazy. Digging through clan records would just be too darn annoying.
I'm glad you like Yasua. Er, I didn't mean to hint that she had abilities that she din' know about, though. Eh heh. She is an Aburame, and her body has been given to the Kikai. Since this happened before she was old enough to cogitate she doesn't mind terribly. But if she had her way, she'd have normal access to her chakra, and could do all the interesting jitsus that normal ninja can do. While becoming better than a normal ninja. So she's subconsciously fighting the kikai for her own chakra, or somethin' like that.
I personally think Shika came off too angsty. I wanted to show that he felt guilty about having killed Sasuke. Not for Sasuke's sake, but because he knows it's upset his friends. And there is some denial there about his very (to him) complicated relationship with Shin. But I think he ended up turning into a brooding angst pot, rather than the jaded cynic I wanted. Grr. Don't be surprised if a section gets added or taken away. Still trying to make the serious side work. But I'm happy with the fluff. Little kiddies eating lunch!
- Authors: 634416
- Stories: 40456
- by rkvtpgtcxbku (PG)
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