Review for Motorcycle
(#) jump_jives 2008-07-05 08:07:37 PM
In summation, this is a really good, relaxed story and I have been enjoying it greatly. Keep up the good work.
Couple minor fixes to do if you ever reposet or post it somewhere else:
“Mummy?” Harry said causing heroine to stop the replay...
Hermione may be addictive to some, but I can't seem to imagine shooting up with her. :)
“Loot at Peter he’s as close to the door as possible.”
Should be look. ( acouple of jokes came to mind for this but they all sucked so I'm not going to make them).
...giving Hermione just enough time to warp Harry in her arms...
I would have expected Harry to feel anything but bent in Hermione's arms, in fact, the term straight as a board comes to mind (though obviously not in this situation). I believe you were going for wrap.
That is one reason for the time between updates.
Knowing what is slipping through improves my reviewing/error checking.
Thanks for all your reviews
yet another frerard oneshot. not smutty, but pretty fluffy =] reviews please!!!
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