Review for The Bucket List
It doesn't quite seem to 'flow'. Chances are, you're either trying too hard or not enough. I'm inclined to think the latter.
Watch punctuation and vocabulary- try to use some interesting words. Throw in a good adjective or adverb from time to time. Better yet, use them regularly. Modifiers are an author's best friends.
It's not like I want a perfect story, just something people enjoy reading.
But I will consider what you said anyway.
Petunia Dursley should have known Harry would return after the war had been fought. She should have ...
In: Harry Potter
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