Phew! When you wrote you would follow the script carefully, you weren't kidding. There's a strong sense that we're still in 'tutorial mode' with ultra-precise lectures on game mechanics. The chats around town gave us an interesting introduction to the bizarre, digital inhabitants, but I can see this becoming a very long story if you go through every single npc chat.
You work some of your best moments with scenery and background - the mysterious cathedral, Kite waking up, and his realization that he can -feel- in The World.
Author's response
Yeppers. I follow the script pretty strictly, in terms of dialogue. I have more chapters than what I have up here, but I rather do not like the uploading methods for posting on FicWad. For someone who doesn't like having to write out all the HTML codes for italisizing and all that, it is rather inconvenient. Hmm. I should get off my butt and load them, oughtn't I? I'll do that later today, if I can.
Anyway, I won't be going through every single NPC chat, (though I'll go through a lot of them) because Kite will run into some of them on numerous occasions, and a relationship will develop there. But, that's not for some time yet.
As for scenery & such, thank you! Mm... I'll try to do other descriptions like those, then.
Anyway, thank you so very, very much for reading my stuff and reviewing!
~ snarks