Review for Hunting
Hunting
(#) Maldoror 2006-08-29 07:21:41 PM
I liked the whole 'chasing a pig' angle ^__^ The fight was good, and I really liked the way Ino's thoughts sort of circled her feelings for Sakura. She's not pining away, you can feel her obstructing her own feelings to start with.
Concrit: though the fight was pretty good, and I liked the bow/wire jutsu, the whole 'jumped by Sound ninja' was a bit random. What were the Sound nin doing there, not that far from Konoha? Why did they attack the girls, and thus betray their presence? Orochimaru and co work in the shadows. Why did they attack with first one man, then the others? The whole thing feels a bit fabricated to put the girls into the position they end up in. Small details could give that a bit more weight, perhaps.
Concrit: though the fight was pretty good, and I liked the bow/wire jutsu, the whole 'jumped by Sound ninja' was a bit random. What were the Sound nin doing there, not that far from Konoha? Why did they attack the girls, and thus betray their presence? Orochimaru and co work in the shadows. Why did they attack with first one man, then the others? The whole thing feels a bit fabricated to put the girls into the position they end up in. Small details could give that a bit more weight, perhaps.
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