Review for AZKABAN

AZKABAN

(#) Ashestoashes 2009-08-14 02:24:40 PM

Totally agree with jeff22003, but I think he didn't mean your writing in this story was sad.
The first, political part was digestible and OK however cliché it was. (Except the H/Hr but that's personal.) Well, in fact only OK because of the clichés now that I think about it, as an often used totally impossible situation to get Harry in Azkaban, whereafter the "real story" begins.
Beginning with the second, fighting part it all came down. The fight was, I don't know how to say it, stupid, static, fanfic, brainless, cliché, with plot holes and everything.
The third, ghost part: see BenRG. Some people like such scenes, I'd like to say more dislike it, but sure about that, I'm not. Still I found it quite improbable and a very irritating and spun out deus ex machina to tie the loose ends in an overly dramatic fashion.
Lastly, if you don't know any French or Latin, don't use/butcher it please! Ministre pour les Affaires Magiques or something like that, Delacour is their name (and with coeur it would be Du Coeur in modern French I guess, but names don't necessarily follow the rules) and Moriturus te salutat.
Oh, and please don't use caps lock for your story titles, but that's just visual comfort (besides the fact it makes you look like some teen girl Veela!Draco/MPreg!Harry fan).
Hmm, quite the negative review, but when one writes some good/moving/original stories, one is expected to at least try to continue that way.

Author's response

OK, I'll take the points as you've raised them.

When I wrote this, in '05, the Harry in Azkaban scene had not yet become cliche`. I have always shuddered at the way the wizards refuse to use any logic or investigation other than a single eyewitness, or ever worse, none, to convict, simply because the sitting minister want's the victim out of the way. Having been a police officer, that really hacks me off.

The fight/dance: I've never read any story like this, so I did not know this was considered cliche`. On the other hand, My dad, told me once, that no joke or story is new. Everything is a recap in one form or other of something done many times before. (that was one of the very few pieces of good advise he ever gave me.)

My French is not something I would normally print. Therefore, I got the translation from Babelfish. Simply put it is 'the minister for magical affairs'.

The name De la Cour, translates directly to 'of the heart'. When I was in the Marine Corps, I knew a guy named De la Paz. He also was French.

Morituri is how I learned it in Dr. Roger Figge (PhD)'s class in highschool.

In spite of the less that glowing review, I appreciate your thoughts.

THBBBT!

Alorkin

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