A narrative style isn't bad but I'd like a few more scenes where the characters can flex their emotional muscles a bit more!
As Harry & Hermione have definitely hooked up I wonder about your statement of Harry being involved with more of the Hogwarts Heroines?
I hope Luna Lovegood is one and maybe the only other!
I think your criticism is totally correct -- this isn't a big detailed epic as I used to write. Too much on my plate, but I hope you enjoy this somewhat more paired down story