Very good! I might just favourite it. Be careful with dialogue though, you seem to be writing speech in a really odd way. A normal sentance should look something like this.
(Random example)
"Gerard, you are a sexy beast."
xD You just need to put full stops in there and those double air quote things and you'll be alright. The 'single' line things are for when someone quotes someone else in either dialogue or narrative.
Like "If i'm the 'Sexy beast' then what are you?"
xD haha anyhow i really like this. Please continue,
Author's response
yeah, i'm not great with grammar and English cos i never pay attention at school XD liked your examples though.