Ahaha, i see some of my advice being followed.
I'll tell you what, if you can't be arsed with grammar and all that stuff, would you like me to be a beta reader for you? You could send it to me, i could edit any mistakes, and i could send it back.
I'm currently a beta reader for about four others, and i'm a predicted A* in english for my GCSE. I've won grammar awards and stuff, so i hope you can trust me. xD
If you would like that, my email is chloe.evans.08@baysgarthschool.co.uk
:)
Oh yeah, and great update!
Author's response
thanks yeah i really can't be bothered with grammar (so lucky i have spell check XD ) it's okay though, i think so far people can read it without getting confused. If i really feel lazy or just really don't want to add punctuation i will it send you :)