Review for Fly Away, Dance on the Milky Way

Fly Away, Dance on the Milky Way

(#) bringmetolife 2011-11-02 01:15:39 PM

First of all, I really enjoy reading this story and I think you are a good writer.
However, I don't want to be like the bad guy here, but this chapter doesn't seem like your A-game at all. In chapter 72 it seemed all dramatic and you ended in a big cliffhanger and I couldn't wait to see how it turns out... And then in this chapter, it's just not good. All that suspense kind of broke down and I'm left here like 'wtf'. It wasn't believable, honestly. And it's such a cliche as well. If I were you, I'd rewrite this chapter and change the whole mom being alive to something else more unexpected. Like maybe Gia is adopted? Maybe she is really, biologically Mikey's kid? Who knows, but you could've made it more unexpected. I would've been a lot more surprised.

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