Review for Fate's Cruel if Life's Great

Fate's Cruel if Life's Great

(#) tortillachip 2011-12-19 01:09:21 PM

There isn't a thing about this story or chapter that is boring! I'm surprised that anyone would think so. I don't think it's healthy to like a story the way I do this one, and I'm not sure if what I said even made sense, but this story is one that makes a reader expect the unexpected and that in itself makes the story interesting. Anyway, one thing I really liked about his is how you kind of built up to Gerard going outside and seeing Frank by giving us a glimpse into Frank's mind. It didn't start out with Gerard just leaving the room and going out to seeing Frank. You actually got to see Frank thinking about how much of a mess he made with one simple kiss and then a very angry Gerard just happened to walk out of the room. It's like he gets so caught up in his thoughts, I kinda did too, and then he hears the door creak and Gerard is just appears. Of course he thought about him, but he didn't really expect him to come out. I thought this part worked very well, and probably would've worked better than them just sitting there to start with. Of course I know that if you would've written it with them in the beginning it would've been written fabulously, but I just thought this was a better way to go. I also liked that Frank regretted his decisions about the whole thing and really understood the effects(affects???) of his actions on everybody. Even Gerard who didn't even know what happened between the Frank and Mikey. Instead of him saying "Oh. I really messed up, didn't I?" Frank goes really in depth with his thoughts. I also liked how he had to accept responsibility and decided that he had to tell what went on. I'd really like to see Gerard's reaction to all of the information. I especially want to see his reaction when he hears that he uses to hurt Mikey. I also really likes the ending. It was very clever to end on that note. You didn't reveal much at all, but it was still beautifully written, and now everyone wants to know what happens next, including me of course. This chapter was just wonderful and thought provoking and very un-boring. I'm still confused as to why someone would think this was boring. Anyway, I loved this, great job, and I can't wait for more.

Author's response

Thank you very much; it's a relief to know that you don't think that this is boring, I'm worried that it's dragging our too much. I'm glad that you think going into Frank's thoughts worked out okay, I was worried that people might view that as dragging it on too long.
Thank you so soooo sooooooooo very, extemely much for taking the time to leave such a sweet and in depth review; it really does mean the world to me to know what you think of my writing! :)

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