Review for For music and words wk1 my entry
For music and words wk1 my entry
(#) CosmicZombie 2012-06-07 12:26:44 PM
Honey, I loved it. That was great, seriously- such a strong, clear message that really struck a chord with me- and with how I think of The Kids From Yesterday. I especially liked this line: 'They mocked and taunted and jeered at
The pieces of what used to be me', and the last couple of verses wrapped it up really well, especially: 'I’m not the person you thought I was
Or the one that you wanted me to be
I’m done with this disguise
Because now, I AM ME!' It gave me goosebumps xD
You said that constructive criticism was welcome, and I can only really think of one thing- a couple times you seemed to forget to put full stops at the end of verses, which stalled the flow a little, but not noticeably. It didn't really make a big difference though- it was still a great read!
Overall, a simple but very effective piece of work. Great stuff, lovely. Thanks very much for participating!
Lucy X_O
P.S. Thank you! :D
The pieces of what used to be me', and the last couple of verses wrapped it up really well, especially: 'I’m not the person you thought I was
Or the one that you wanted me to be
I’m done with this disguise
Because now, I AM ME!' It gave me goosebumps xD
You said that constructive criticism was welcome, and I can only really think of one thing- a couple times you seemed to forget to put full stops at the end of verses, which stalled the flow a little, but not noticeably. It didn't really make a big difference though- it was still a great read!
Overall, a simple but very effective piece of work. Great stuff, lovely. Thanks very much for participating!
Lucy X_O
P.S. Thank you! :D
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