Review for Snow!


(#) aerial_bard 2005-05-21

Very cute, and definitely sexy in the appropriate places. While I wish it had been longer, the shortness made it very clever and spontaneous without anything getting old.
My only criticism is that your point of view switched mid-way through the fic. Now this is something that doesn't bother many authors, and feel free to tell me to sod off if you want to keep your style. But I think it would make it more fluid if you kept with the sort of "third person Daniel's perspective" throughout the story, instead of switching to Darren's. It's a personal preference, though, and you might not think it applies for such a short fic.
Oh, and jellyfish? I was confused...

But otherwise, an absolute delight to read! I look forward to more. :)

Author's response

Ah, the jellyfish means that Darren's hard-on had disappeared. Sorry for not being obvious enough.
Actually, I didn't switch the point of view on purpose. I just wrote what my muses wanted me to write and they wanted me to tell that Darren wasn't pleased at all LOL
And no, I'm not going to tell you to sod off. It's your opinion and I'm glad your telling me otherwise I and my way of writing would never develop, so thank you and thank you for reading and liking ^__^