Heeey I just started reading this, I will read the rest of the chapters as you revise them (which I understood you are doing to all the chappys?). But based on this chapter alone, I really like this and I am looking forward to reading the rest.
Thanks! I got some really good advice so I'm re-writing all the current chapters from a third person point of view. I just uploaded the revised version of chapter two. Hope you like it! Thanks again!