Review for Pyreflies
And Wakka is so ridiculous, trying to just kiss Lulu without any warning. I like the way he wants to cry too, for being rejected and pushed away. I imagine that Wakka as you write him would think that Lulu will NEVER RETURN HIS FEELINGS now even though really all she did was push him away from her once when he kissed her at an awkward moment. I mean she even lets her comfort him afterward, so it isn't too bad at all. But Wakka strikes me as really naive here. I like that.
"Lulu looked up at the stars, holding back the tears that tried to come everytime she thought about her love." I would add a space between "every" and "time."
"He'd never really noticed how much she'd grown up since they days they used to torment each other up and down the beaches of Besaid." This should read "since the days."
""What are you doing!"" There should be a question mark here.
Another dimensional cross-over Harry? A Dark Grey Harry and a very innocent one combine when Voldemo...
In: Harry Potter
- Authors: 601394
- Stories: 40300
Duke Jester Kingsley's family was targeted by assassins for unknown reasons. His soul, radiating in ...
Itachi Uchiha receives his first mission in ANBU: protecting a certain trouble making Jinchuriki. He...
CHAPTER 29 UP! Follow Em through her ups and downs- I give you college, alcohol, trouble and a bunch...
Ever since the day her uncle raped her, McKayla's life has change completely. Barely even in her mid...
While Goten, Gohan and Trunks were forced to train with Vegeta in the Gravity Chamber, Pan was left ...
In: Dragon Ball Z