Oh, I didn't particularly enjoy it. I just don't think it was fair that this got a rating of "Illiterate."
Overall, I'd say that there's nothing particularly wrong with this poem, but it doesn't do anything new either. Think of it this way. Every few years, there's a new Cinderella movie - "Ever After," that TV version with Brandy and Burnadette Peters, "Ella Enchanted" (the movie was bad but the book was great). Why do they bother telling the same story? Answer: Because each retelling tries something a little different. "Ever After" gave us a completely magic-free version. "Ella" put Cinderella under a curse.
Now you're writing a poem about suicide. What can you do with it? What do other people do in suicide poems that you don't like? What do you wish people could express? What do you think people are afraid of hearing?
i see...but i understnad where your coming from. and yes people do not like suicide poems because they always end up sad. i thought the ending was different because it gave some hope...anyway i quite agree with about the rating.
and yes some my poems are considered to be emo.