Review for Loser
Loser
(#) Rous 2006-04-24 11:44:44 AM
Since they do not have a rating that covers what I think of this, I will just tell you; I agree that ficwad needs a general catagory. This did not fit what I would find humorous.
The premise is promising, but there is a great deal of repetition, and only where it should be. It is fine to stress a notion, but there are too many notions stressed here.
And there is an overuse of names where pronouns would carry the idea.
The structure here seems out of whack. Possibly re-ordering some of the phrasing would help. Punctuation is another issue.
Not a train wreck, but not perfect; this falls inbetween.
Thank you for sharing.
The premise is promising, but there is a great deal of repetition, and only where it should be. It is fine to stress a notion, but there are too many notions stressed here.
And there is an overuse of names where pronouns would carry the idea.
The structure here seems out of whack. Possibly re-ordering some of the phrasing would help. Punctuation is another issue.
Not a train wreck, but not perfect; this falls inbetween.
Thank you for sharing.
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