Review for Loser

Loser

(#) Rous 2006-04-24 11:44:44 AM

Since they do not have a rating that covers what I think of this, I will just tell you; I agree that ficwad needs a general catagory. This did not fit what I would find humorous.

The premise is promising, but there is a great deal of repetition, and only where it should be. It is fine to stress a notion, but there are too many notions stressed here.

And there is an overuse of names where pronouns would carry the idea.

The structure here seems out of whack. Possibly re-ordering some of the phrasing would help. Punctuation is another issue.

Not a train wreck, but not perfect; this falls inbetween.

Thank you for sharing.

Log in!




Register Lost password

Filter

You won't see stories with a lower score when you browse or search. Log in to adjust filter.
0

 

Featured Story

Site Stats

  • Authors: 483222
  • Stories: 40148

Recent Stories