Amusing, well written, good tone. Not quite sure what I think of the pacing, but that's likely because I'm a touch sleepy just now. Even if it does feel a touch off when I'm awake, I don't know what I'd do to fix it, so. I do promise to wait until I'm slightly more awake before rating.
I do, however, feel the need to inform you of a typo that slipped your notice. You have Edgar "murder" when he should "murmur". It's actually a rather brilliant typo, all told, especially since it's in the section just before he nibbles Locke's neck. First rate chuckle...or maybe I'm just easily amused. Both are thoroughly possible.