Okay. You have a excellent story idea, but you need to work on a few things.
First, grammar. Grammar is very important. Spelling, formatting, paragraphing. Stuff like that.
Second, detail. Your story left some blanks. For your next chapters, read over what you have multiple times and add in things if you think they're going to draw a blank.
Like I said, I think you have a great story idea, and I will read on. But please, try to work on these things. If you need assistance, my email is on my profile page.