Your story is in parts quite original but as good as you can write, I abhor authors who can't spell the names of the main characters! It's HermIOne, not Hermoine!! And btw, Flamel is spelt without the extra-m!
Sometimes my keystrokes get away from me and my beta does a fantastic job, but alas she is only human and in a perfect world she would be getting paid for making my shoddy grammar look good. I'll go back and look for corrections. I hope this doesn't detract from your enjoyment of the story. Jim