Review for Family Issue
Family Issue
(#) glazedlookineyes101 2007-04-21 06:13:24 AM
Yay! Whoohoo! Contact! Oh man, Harry is in serious trouble! How is he going to explain his way out of this?
I was actually expecting Hermione's brain to short circuit and to be speechless. Nice touch with the "Urk".
Sometimes I wish I had discovered this fic when it has been completed. I'm always anxiously waiting for the next update and it is killing me. That's one hell of a cliffhanger you left this chapter in!
Just a few little corrections if you do not mind. This sentence:
"What a beautiful baby boy," Hermione gushed, is he yours?
It should instead be:
"What a beautiful baby boy!" Hermione gushed. "Is he yours?"
This: "Oh yes," Belle cooed, he's our first, the first of many if I have my way.
Should be: "Oh yes," Belle cooed. "He's our first. He's the first of many if I have my way."
This: "I'll have to be content with our little Paul," Myrtle gushed "but isn't he the cutest thing?"
Should be: "I'll have to be content with our little Paul," Myrtle gushed. "But isn't he the cutest thing?"
Sorry about that. I just noticed them and thought you might want to know about them.
I was actually expecting Hermione's brain to short circuit and to be speechless. Nice touch with the "Urk".
Sometimes I wish I had discovered this fic when it has been completed. I'm always anxiously waiting for the next update and it is killing me. That's one hell of a cliffhanger you left this chapter in!
Just a few little corrections if you do not mind. This sentence:
"What a beautiful baby boy," Hermione gushed, is he yours?
It should instead be:
"What a beautiful baby boy!" Hermione gushed. "Is he yours?"
This: "Oh yes," Belle cooed, he's our first, the first of many if I have my way.
Should be: "Oh yes," Belle cooed. "He's our first. He's the first of many if I have my way."
This: "I'll have to be content with our little Paul," Myrtle gushed "but isn't he the cutest thing?"
Should be: "I'll have to be content with our little Paul," Myrtle gushed. "But isn't he the cutest thing?"
Sorry about that. I just noticed them and thought you might want to know about them.
Author's response
Thanks for reading and reviewing, at first I was going to go with eloquent silence, but 'urk' won out in the end. Thanks for pointing out the punctuation omissions, (I don't know how I missed those, I'm usually so punctuational . . .) I can only say I was suffering from a bit of jet lag when I posted this, I was in Napa Valley playing tour guide for some friends from D.C. We only just got back late last night.
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