(#) brad 2006-06-21
Just in response to your question as to my review to chapter 16, seeing as how I never put in a review for it's predecessor here, chapter 15 - yes, I noticed and appreciated both the H/Hr moments in this chapter; Hermione comforting Harry while he slept, and her vow of support. And liked them both - I love H/Hr. But I thought the 'stroking hair' here, etc, took place in a stressful situation, Harry having survived a crisis and suffered injury, and was appropriate in the extraordinary circumstances. That's why I was surprised when, the next chapter, they're in quite open and obvious boyfriend/girlfriend mode during 'normal' schooltime (even if they're still only pre-pubescent kids and there's nothing sexual about it). The chapter 16 scene was nice, I was just surprised they'd gone that far that fast; when they'd last talked about their relationship they'd agreed to put a hold on things until at least 3rd year. Of course that talk was more about the sexual side to a relationship, maybe.
Frankly, I think it would have been nice somewhere to have some thoughts, an aside, by one or both of them as to where/how their relationship was going. Harry surprised that he and Hermione had bonded together so fast, his pleasure that he and Hermione were getting on so much better this time around maybe. One of your comments in the reviews earlier on - that, in this second-time-around version of Harry, Hermione has found everything she needs in a leader and friend - has always stuck with me; perhaps we could have read her ruminating about exactly that herself. I'm pretty sure you voiced that sentiment in a review response, not in the main story. It would be nice to see how she'd phrase it, not being privy to the first timeline.
The opening of chapter 16 was just a bit of a surprise, to me, given the above. A welcome surprise, but still a surprise.
I'm sure you're right. I have to admit, even I'm not totally happy about the pacing in this story, it's pretty much hitting the highlights as they develop instead of all the developments themselves. If I could squeeze out another 6,000 words or so, I might just be able to ship out the chapters every few days. That might help as well