Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Every Time You Draw Me, I Will Always Erase Myself.3 Reviews
Yeah. I can't actually remember what happens. I wrote it too long ago. :]
“It’s not normal. This isn’t normal” he shouted, taking a step towards me and passing through me as if I wasn’t there. I looked down before turning round to face Gerard. He was crying, his pink tinted skin was blending with the black of the eyeliner, smudging.
“Normal people don’t smudge Frank.” he cried, more of the charcoal pencil running down his cheeks. “Normal people can be loved. I’m just a drawing, a figment of your imagination Frank.”
“You can be loved.”
“Not like a normal person. Normal people can’t do this.” he said, walking into the sketch pad and re-appearing sitting, with his knees bought up high under his chin, his jet black hair covering his face.
“Gerard. Get back out here!” I shouted at the paper, picking it up and looking at it closely.
The drawing only seemed to shiver slightly.
I put the sketch pad down; knowing from my own stubborn self that I wasn’t going to get a reply anytime soon. I flipped the pad closed before turning round to go to the kitchen to get Graham some food.
“Graham?” I called. I looked around the kitchen and banged the knife on the cold metal bowl a few times, this normally got him sprinting to the kitchen. “Graham?” I called again. “Maybe he’s outside” I mumbled, heading to the front door.
I lived in a small bungalow with no back garden, just a front one. I opened the door and looked down the narrow path that ran through the middle of my so called garden. It was way too over grown and even if Graham was out here I wouldn’t be able to see him. “Graham?” I shouted, cupping my hand round my mouth to project my voice better.
I struggled my way down the path, pushing plants out of my way in the process. I reached the gate and eased it open. “Graham?” I repeated.
I looked across the road. There he was. “Graham!” I said once more, clicking my fingers to get his attention. He looked at me with his bright yellow eyes. “Come here boy…” I beckoned him. He ran towards me. I heard a revving engine somewhere to my left. “GRAHAM STAY THERE.” I shouted. “STAY!” I shouted again as he started crossing the road. “NO GRAHAM”
He had broken into a small run. But no where near fast enough to avoid the car.
It happened so quickly. A screech of wheels and a loud horn. I closed my eyes. I couldn’t watch. I couldn‘t. Everything was silent. The car had gone. The only noise was the wind. The wind rustling through the bushes. I opened my eyes, rubbing them. They were blurry and I could hardly see.
When my sight became clear I looked at the scene before me. Graham was lying spread on the road. A knock to the head is what did it. A large open wound with that all too important deep red liquid still running from it.
I stumbled over to the small lump of gray on the road, the red mixing surprisingly well with the cold ash coloured kitten.
Dropping to my knees at his side I lifted his head. Not caring how much blood covered my hands. I held him in my arms. Rocking him backwards and forwards, knowing he was already far gone. His soul had left his rapidly cooling body. I caressed his ears and his back, not wanting to put him down. Not wanting to not feel his soft fur on my hands. Not ready to let go.
I rested the cold, stiff kitten on the table, turning swiftly to pick up a towel. I rapped him tightly in it. It would make no difference but I didn’t care. I sat down staring at the bundle. I ran through what happened in my head. One minute he was running across the road the next second he was gone. Life wise anyway. I drummed my fingers on the table still staring at the bundle of kitten and towel that was lying on the table.
I stood up quickly and stormed over to my sketch pad and flipped it open to the drawing that Gerard had last walked into.
“Gerard?” I asked the drawing. Nothing. “Gerard, I really need you. The whole of you. I need you here to draw more for you.” I pleaded. The drawing shuffled on the page slightly. “Please Gerard?” as I finished the sentence the drawing disappeared and I rested the sketch pad back on the table before turning round to find Gerard. To my surprise he wasn’t standing right behind me but he was instead standing by the table and looking down at Graham.
“Gerard…” I started, causing him to look up at me.
“What happened?” I asked obviously quite concerned.
“Hit by a car.” I mumbled, trying to fight back tears that were threatening to fall.
“Oh.” he said simply. I clapped my hands loudly and Gerard looked at me, surprised at my sudden burst of enthusiasm.
“I need to draw more for you. Don’t I?”
“Are you sure you want to?” he asked indicating to the kitten.
“I’m sure.” I answered, sitting down and picking up a pencil. I went through my head of the organs Gerard was going to need. I decided on one very important organ, one that makes you alive.
I lightly sketched the organ, it’s shape was difficult. In fact, it wasn’t really a shape and much resembled mashed potato if I’m honest. Picking up a pink and red pencil I began shading in the organ until it was a pink, circle?
“My brain?” asked Gerard from behind me.
“Yes.” I said, holding the sketch pad up and brushing off the eraser pieces that were stuck to it. Gerard’s arm reached over my head and picked the brain off the page with ease. I watched in amazement as it became real in his hand. It looked wet and sticky, covered in blood. I watched in even more amazement as Gerard just seems to push it through the top of his head.
“Promise you won’t give me bones until I have all my organs? Or this could get difficult.” he laughed.
“Promise.” I said, I held out my hand to shake his. Frank reluctantly put his out, inching it closer to mine. The tips of our fingers met and like an electric shock there was something there. We both took our hands away quickly.
“I felt…” started Gerard.
“… me too.” I said. The smile on my face grew then spread to Gerard’s.
“It wasn’t much, but I felt it.” I grinned.
“Me too. Keep drawing! I want to feel it more.”
“Yes please.” I picked up the pencil again. Gerard leant over my shoulder and sharpened it for me. Just like the first time we met.
“Thank you.” I said, looking at him and touching his cheek. The feeling of contact only lasted a second or less, but I savoured the second.
I brushed the pencil over the page, creating on oval like shape then another one. I used the purple and red coloured pencils this time, shading carefully to get the perfect colour. From behind me Gerard tried picking up a pencil, he grasped it and managed to hold it for at least two seconds before it fell through his hand.
“Did you see that?” he asked me, grinning hugely. “I picked it up!”
“I saw! You’re going to want to try it again as well. I’ve finished your lungs.” I smiled at him as he picked up one lung then the other, holding one in each hand. He pushed them into his chest, as he did he took a huge breath, his first breath.
“It feels strange…”
“You’ll get used to it.” I took another breath before walking towards me. He put his hand up as if to give me a hi-5. I lifted my hand to his and has our palms touched the feeling between us felt more. Gerard linked his fingers with mine and I leant forward. I brushed my lips against his, gently. Gerard pulled away.
“Sorry, do you not what to?” I asked, worried at Gerard’s reaction.
“No, I do. I pulled away because... my heart started beating quicker.” he smiled.
I leant in again and put my lips on his, holding them there. The contact of the lips was enough at the moment, I didn’t need tongues. This made it much more special.