I was on to the second week of being sober. This place was becoming more ridiculous by the second. I had to speak to a therapist daily. I just made up shit. Hopefully we would soon get to the "root" of my "problems" and I could get out of this hell hole.
The only decent thing about this place, was Spencer. She always listened to me. And Brooklyn kept things interesting for me. So I was pretty sure I could survive a few more weeks.
Brooklyn and I were sitting together at lunch one day. Did I mention how awful the food was? Yeah, pretty sure I had lost a good fifteen pounds. Which was probably a good thing anyway. Did you know that alcohol is chalk full of calories and shit? I didn't.
I noticed an 'M' carved into her arm. "Brook, what the fuck?"
She moved her arm from the table to her lap, not moving her gaze from her plate.
"When you gonna give that shit up babe?" I asked, poking at the goulash in front of me with my fork.
I reached across the table and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Talk to me." I was truly worried about this girl. Before she was sent here, she was in university, and on her way to becoming an engineer or some crazy smart shit like that. And now she was here, missing school, and not making any progress toward getting out.
She shook her head, causing her hair to fall back in front of her face.
She stood up, "I'm not feeling well, I'm going to lie down,"
I smiled sympathetically as she walked away. I threw away my lunch, and walked toward the front desk. I gave my usual "Can I go for a cigarette?" look to Alice. She smiled and unlocked the door for me.
I walked outside and sat down on a bench, lighting my cigarette. Spencer appeared in the doorway, and she walked toward me. "Hey you, how's it going?" she asked, sitting down next to me.
"Alright...but I have to ask you something." I said, breathing slowly. This was something that had been on my mind since about day three. "
"Shoot," she said, smiling at me.
"Why do you...like...talk to me so much. I mean, I know its your job or whatever but I don't see you talking to anyone else like you do to me." There. I said it.
She let a small laugh pass her lips, "I don't know really...I believe that getting help starts with a special connection with one person. I felt like we had that. I've had it with a few other patients. And I know how much it helps."
This is when I remembered. I had the title patient. "Oh...well I appreciate it." De-nied. Hah, what the hell was I thinking?
She grabbed my hand and squeezed it, sending a shock through my whole body. "You're doing great Mikey, really. I'm very proud of you,"
"Heh, thanks," I replied, stiffly.
"Mikey!" yelled a voice I hadn't been expecting or wanting to hear anytime soon. I looked over to see Gerard standing in the doorway. "Oh fuck me," I mumbled under my breath.
Spencer gave me a look, "Who is that?" she asked.
"My brother," I mumbled.
He smiled as he walked toward me. I smiled back, though I loathed the very core of him.
"Hey bud, how's it going? Who's this?" he said, sitting down on a chair adjacent to the bench we were occupying.
"Fine," I said, lighting up another cigarette. "This is Spencer."
She held out her hand and Gerard shook it. A wave of jealousy flowed over me. "Mikey's doing great here,"
He grinned. "I'm glad."
"Well, I'll let you two talk then," Spencer excused herself and walked inside.
The minute she was out of earshot, I turned to Gerard. "I really don't want to talk to you right now."
His eyes widened. "Huh? What the fuck are you talking about Mikes? I thought you were doing so well."
"Can you please leave?" I asked, politely as possible, through clenched teeth.
He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off, "Go!"
His head fell, and he stared at his feet as he walked away.
"He never lets me talk, you know?"
The doctor nodded, scribbling something down on the paper in front of him.
"He's such a hypocrite too, he thinks I have a fucking problem? I never fucking ripped rails!"
He looked at me over his horn-rimmed glasses. "So, you're telling me that you feel shadowed by your brother? And that he's trying to cover his own mistakes by forcing you to fix yours? Did I understand that?"
I nodded, "Exactly!"
"Hmm, you know, I think your brother's behavior may have been one of the factors that caused you to turn to alcohol."
My jaw dropped. I had just come into here to bitch, I hadn't expected to "make a breakthrough". But maybe he was right. maybe I should just go with it, so I could get the fuck out of here. I guess this wasn't the first time I had talked about him. In fact, there was only like, one time that I hadn't brought him up.
"What do you think?"
I nodded, my mouth still hanging open.
"Alright. For the next week or so, we'll work on how to deal with his behavior."
"O-okay," I stuttered, getting up from my chair. I was stunned, but he may have been right. Scary.
A/N Okay kat lemme know what you think hahah since you are the only person who reviews!! The rest of you? PLEASE take a moment to review even if all it says is good or this sucks. lol. thanks