Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Nothing's Right

¡¿Magic Bottle!?

by KoichiTsunade 0 reviews

"I want that bottle, please." "Ero-sennin! We don't know what it contains!"

Category: Naruto - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Characters: Jiraiya,Naruto - Published: 2008-07-13 - Updated: 2008-07-13 - 2340 words

0Unrated
Okay! This is the first chapter!!! Hope you enjoy it!!! :D


1. ¿¡Magic Bottle!?


In one of the biggest driest deserts of Earth, two people were walking through it. Their bare feet showed tripes from days ago due to the warm air that entered their clothing from the sunrise until the sunset. The sand dunes, which were as hot as the sun, would shake with each step they took.
Ugh... Stupid Bossy Crazy Bitchy Woman... Who would think that the master and his student would be ordered to go to a mission together in the worst place they could be sent... The Hidden Sand Village? Ha! yeah, they knew one person that would think about this craziness, the scariest, but at the same time the most beautiful woman Jiraiya could think of, the Godaime Hokage.

“Finally we can go home! When I get there, I will make Tsunade-baachan pay for this treachery! Hmph! What a liar by telling us we were just going to finish off some mafia that was rounding around the BORDER between our Village and the Sand Village. And here we are, in the middle of the biggest desert of the Sand!! I’ll kill her with my hands...!” A blond boy said, raising his hands and making the movement of suffocating the crazy Hokage by taking her by the neck.

“Heh you will first have to knock her off, she won’t let you touch her. Believe me, I know what you’re feeling right now.” Jiraiya said, a faint smile in his lips appeared in his face, though Naruto could not see it since the white-haired man was all covered with clothing, letting only his eyes be seen. He remembered one day when he was fifteen years old.

Flashback

A young Tsunade was sitting in a tree branch, her legs swinging in the air. To her left was Jiraiya. With a frown, he was looking at his favorite kunaii, which was broken because he threw it five minutes ago, and it as too old. To her right was Orochimaru, who was staring at the white clouds in the sky, like always, in his own world. The three of them were really bored since they were waiting for their sensei to come. They were meeting in the training grounds, though they were already chuunin. Their former sensei just wanted to train with them that week to see how they had improved.

Tsunade sighed and looked at Jiraiya, looking for something fun to do to him. With a playful smile, Tsunade whispered into Jiraiya’s ear, “Hey Baka. I heard that today there’s going to be aaaaa looot of young pretty woman in the girls' bath house.”

Jiraiya looked at her with suspicious eyes trying to see the trap beneath her pretty face. Tsunade would always hit him when he made any pervert comment. “What do you really want, flat-chested bitch?” Tsunade wasn’t a flat-chested girl anymore, but Jiraiya liked to tease her around by saying that.

Tsunade glared at him and hit him in the back of his head making him fall down. “You fucking idiot! I was just telling you!!”

After training, Jiraiya said he had to go home earlier than usual. When Tsunade heard that, she had turned around with an evil smile playing in her lips, sending scary chills down his spine. “Bye-bye!” She had said happily, waving her hand at him.

When the young Jiraiya got to to the bath house, he could hear girls’ giggles and splashes from the other side. With a pervert smile, he went to his well-known hole to spy. His nose started to bleed really hard since twenty girls were there all naked under the water. He looked at all of their faces, recognizing more than half of them from other times. His eyes then locked in another female figure. Tsunade.

She was sitting in a rock, with a towel covering her body. She was smiling and talking with a friend. Her blonde shiny hair was fallen over her fair perfect breasts. Jiraiya mumbled something, disappointed that she used a towel, but now more suspicious; why would Tsunade tell him about the girls’ bath house if she was going to go there? Mhmm... Something was just wrong.

Tsunade stopped talking and stared at the wall where Jiraiya was. Widening his eyes, Jiraiya stopped looking and hid himself. After a minute, he looked back carefully. The blonde kunoichi was now back talking with her friend. Sighing with relief, Jiraiya tried to hear their conversation, though it was hard with all the giggles around him.

“I’m coming back, okay? Wait a second I gotta do something.” Tsunade said standing up and entering the house.

‘What is she going to do...?’ Jiraiya wondered.

After five minutes, another young woman with black hair entered covering herself with a towel. Looking at Jiraiya’s place, she shrieked.

All the girls froze and looked at the woman. “JIRAIYA THE PERVERT IS THERE, SPYING ON US!!” She shouted pointing at Jiraiya.

“Oh shit.” Jiraiya whispered.

“Jiraiya!?” “Oh no!” “Again!?” All the girls started to shriek, while the black-haired woman stood there, smirking.

Jiraiya frowned. “Fucking bitch...”


At the next day, Jiraiya went to the training grounds with a broken arm. Yesterday all the girls beat the crap outta him, and it was all Tsunade's fault. She transformed herself in the black-haired woman. Arghh! He would love to kill herr...!

When he got there, Tsunade waved at him. Jiraiya glared at her. “I'm looking for an excuse to kill you, say hello and I’ll murder you.”

The blond kunoichi tried to look hurt. “Aww you look moody today... Did something wrong happen yesterday?”

“Yeah. You happened!!!” He yelled at her face.

“Her? What did she do?” Orochimaru asked, surprised by Jiraiya's reaction. He knew Jiraiya liked to annoy het but never fight, though they would always end up in each other’s throat.

“Yeah. What did I do? I stayed at my house all the afternoon.” Tsunade said, shrugging in an innocent way.

“Ahhhh, I can’t anymore with you!!” Jiraiya ran towards her taking a kunaii with his left arm since the other one was broken.

When he was about to throw it to her, Sarutobi-sensei appeared and grabbed his arm. “Ouchouch! Stop! It hurts!”

“Shut up.” Sarutobi said. “You guys are like little kids. Always fighting. Jiraiya, can’t you just be nice for a week?”

“It’s not me, but her!! I hate her!!!!” Jiraiya shouted. Sarutobi glared at him and hit him in the head.

“Be nice.” He said harshly.

Behind Sarutobi, Jiraiya saw Tsunade chuckling soundlessly, and when she noticed he was glaring at her, she stuck her tongue out at him.


End of Flashback

“What a little bitch she was back then... And now too, sending me with this idiot...” Jiraiya muttered under his breath.

Naruto looked up at him. “Huh?”

“Nothing, nothing.”

The enviroment started to get hotter, and their eyes hurt with all the sand and wind.

“Naruto... Do you still have water on the bottle? Mine is empty.” Jiraiya asked, his tongue rough and dry.

“Nani!? You don’t have more water!? I thought you had since mine is almost empty!”

Jiraiya sighed relieved. “Phef... Give me the bottle, I’ll drink the end of it.” He said, taking out an arm from his cloak.

Naruto who had taken the bottle out from his bag, hid it behind his back. “Nu-uh. It’s mine. I’m sorry for you if you already drank your bottle.”

Jiraiya glared at him. “Naruto... Give me the bottle...” He said dangerously.

Naruto gulped but shook his head.

The Sannin rubbed his eyes tiredly with a hand. “Give. Bottle. Now.”

“I said no!!”

“Okay, you said it!!” Jiraiya jumped on top of him, trying to get the bottle. Naruto shrieked like a girl and ran.... and ran... Until Jiraiya caught him. Taking the bottle from his hands, the white-haired Sannin opened the screw-top, placed it in his mouth, and dra-.

“SHIT!!!” Jiraiya shouted. “LOOK ALL THE WATER THAT IS NOW WASTED, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!”

“Hey!!!If I’m an asshole, you’re one too!!” Naruto exclaimed.

“Me!? Are you joking, brat!? You were the one pushing me!!”

“What!? Excuse me, but I told you the bottle was MINE!!”

“Yes, but I’m your master, give me the respect that I deserve!”

“I’m already giving you the respect you deserve!”

“Oh yeah!?”

“Yes!!”

“Excuse me-.”

“Your calculations about respect are wrong!!”

“Not really!”

“Sir-.”

“Shut up!”

“You shut up!”

“I’m much older than you! If I tell you to shut up, you shut the fuck up!”

“Sir-.”

“You might be older physically, but inside your brain you only have crap!”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY!!??”

“SIR!!!!”

Naruto and Jiraiya jumped in surprise. They looked at the person who had spoken.

The old man who had just appeared cleared his throat. “Thank you for paying attention to me.”

“What do you want?” Jiraiya asked.

“Well, I’m a magic seller who has many magic objects-.”

“We don’t want anything.”

“Just let me show you what I got.” The man opened his bag and started to take out things in the middle of a desert. Jiraiya and Naruto were just looking at him in astonishment. From a little bag, the man could make a jungle of things! “And with this, you can get invisible... Ohh this is very hard to find, with this, you can make someone fall in love with you...” When hearing that, Jiraiya smiled.

“Naruto, do you think I could try it in Tsunade-hime?”

“Eww no! C’mon, you love her?”

Jiraiya started to blush. He didn’t want to tell him he really did love her; first, this brat would laugh at him, which wasn’t his worst fear. His worst fear was that then he would tell the Godaime about it... and then Tsunade would get really mad... and then she would kill him... Nah...! He really didn’t want to die in the hands of a psychopath. He changed his weight to the other leg. “Well, no but-.”

“Then don’t buy it, it’s too expensive.” Jiraiya sighed relieved. Looked like Naruto didn’t notice how nervous he had got.

“Excuse me old man... Do you have water?” Jiraiya asked, faith showing in his voice.

“Magic water?”

“No, just water.” Naruto said irritated.

“No, I don't have.”

Jiraiya frowned and looked at Naruto. “It doesn’t matter if it’s MAGIC.” He then whispered, “I’m sure it’s just normal water, see his eyes? They’re lying!”

“Mhmm... I’m not sure if-.” He didn’t finish the sentence since he heard Jiraiya asking for that magic water. He bought it and then the strange old man disappeared.

“That was weird...” Jiraiya said. “He... he just disappeared...?”

“Ero-sennin! We don’t know what it contains!! Why did you buy it!?”

Jiraiya rolled his eyes. “You believe about fairies and all of that stuff?”

“Well...”

Jiraiya laughed. “You’re soo childish! Look, I’ll drink from it, and then let’s see if something wrong happens to me, okay?”

Naruto hesitated but nodded.

“Okay, here I go.” Jiraiya opened the screw-top and drank from the bottle. After thirty seconds of drinking, he stopped and looked at Naruto with a smirk in his face. Then his eyes got really big. He writhed in agony. “Naruto... Help me...!”

Naruto’s eyes were full of terror. “Ero-sennin!? What’s wrong!!??”

Then Jiraiya started to laugh really hard, until he started to cry. Looking at his body, the Sannin said, “Mhm... I see I didn’t loose any arm or leg...” He then looked at his student with a playful smile. “Want some?”

Naruto glared at him. “Idiot... You scared me to death!!”

Jiraiya nodded. “I know I know. So you want to drink? I’m all right.”

Naruto nodded and took the bottle. Looking at the bottle, he started to play with it with the hand, hesitating.

Then Jiraiya stole it from his hand. “If you don’t want to, I’ll drink it myself.”

“No!” The blonde took it back, pulled his head back and drank with feriocity.

Jiraiya smirked. “I see you were thirsty, huh?”

When Naruto finished the bottle, he glared at Jiraiya. “You left almost nothing!”

Jiraiya shrugged. “I’m an adult. C’mon, let’s get to a village a get you more water.”


After two hours, they finally got to a small village. Jiraiya had to ask for Naruto’s water since he coulnd’t even talk.

After eight cups of water, Naruto stopped drinking. “Water fell from heaven to my throat...” He said smiling and closing his eyes.

Jiraiya smirked. “As you can see, we’re still here and in one piece." He said opening his arms. “If you haven’t been so scared about the bottle, I would have left you more.”

“Yeah, well. I was just being careful...”

Jiraiya laughed. “No, you were just a coward little boy.”

“I was not!”

“Yes you were...!”

“I said no!”

“I said yes.”

“No!!”

“Yes.”

“Leave me alone...”

Jiraiya laughed again. “So I won, huh?”

Naruto snorted. “You would like to.”

Jiraiya shrugged, still with the smirk in his face. “You shouldn’t lie to yourself, because then you will even believe your words.”

“Uggh! Stop talking.”

“You don’t tell me what I have to do, young man.”


When they got to their hotel, they changed into the pijamas they brought. Each one went to his bed, falling asleep esily.
The air was cool and fast outside. Dogs barked inside their houses. Looked like these animals were the only ones who could feel it. The air continued its path, ignoring the dogs, carrying two souls to a... Different location...

Author's Notes:

I'm really having fun writing this fanfic. The idea I got it from a dream! XD I hope you liked it! I'm trying to be original! X3
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