Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Love Knows No Age - Continued...Again

Never Have Or Ever Will - JULY 17

by AlexSanDee 7 Reviews

Gerard is trying to sort things out.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Published: 2008/07/16 - Updated: 2008/07/17 - 1755 words

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By early afternoon Donna had called most of Gerard’s friends in hopes that someone had heard from him. It was as if he’d simply dropped off the face of the earth after leaving the airport. She looked over at Don who was glancing through the stack of mail he’d just bought in. “Where could he be? I just talked to Brian again and he even called Bert.”
Don looked up. “Bert?”
“Yes, Bert. He said he talked to Gerard a few days ago but hasn’t heard from him since.”
“Donna, I’m sure he’s alright. Knowing our son he’s holed up somewhere making plans. You know that’s what he does.”
“But making plans for what? He needs to stop making plans and get busy. He needs to talk to Monica and soon.”
Don eyed her closely, “Why soon?” He understood that the situation was serious but there was something in the way she had said that that confused him.
Donna decided to tell him about seeing Monica having lunch with the doctor. Don listened then sighed.
“Well Monica is a fine looking woman. It’s not surprising another man would be attracted to her.”
“Don.” Donna said growing exasperated, “This is serious. Gerard hurt Monica and she’s very vulnerable right now. He’s told me he still loves her and wants to fix their relationship.”
“I’m sure he does still love her.” Don said patiently. “But I’m also sure she still loves him. She’s not going to take up with another man.”
Donna frowned. She wasn’t so sure. “Sometimes your son drives me crazy.” She muttered.
Don laughed, “Yep, that’s my boy.” He went back to reading the mail.

Kara walked from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hands. She placed it carefully on the table and sighed contently. It felt wonderful to be in her own home. The sound of the doorbell surprised her. Who was standing there, when she opened the door, surprised her even more.
“Gerard, what are you doing here?” She blurted out.
He forced a smile, “Hey, Kara. Can I come in?”
Kara stood back to let him enter. “Of course but Bob’s not here right now. He had some errands to run.”
Gerard walked in and she gestured for him to follow her to the living room. Once they were seated Kara asked, “So, is my husband going to be out of a job soon?”
Her question surprised him. “No, why would you think that?”
Kara decided to answer him honesty, “Well cause it’s a question that’s been on Bob’s mind a lot. He’s not sure that the band won’t break up.”
Gerard was shocked, “Why would he think we were gonna break up?”
“Gerard.” Kara tried not to roll her eyes. “Uh, didn’t you notice all the tension that’s been going on? Bob says things aren’t the same.”
“Fuck.” Gerard muttered. “And it’s all my fault right?”
Kara didn’t sugar coat her one word answer, ‘Yeah.”
For several minutes Gerard sat lost in thought. Finally he spoke. “Look, I didn’t come to talk to Bob. I came to talk to you.”
Now it was Kara’s turn to be surprised, “Me?”
He nodded, “I came to apologize to you for hurting your mom.”
Kara didn’t know what to say. She had never expected him to show up on her doorstep let alone apologize for what he’d done to her mom. “Aren’t you talking to the wrong person? You should be talking to Mom.”
Gerard sighed. “Look, I know I hurt you girls too.”
Kara just frowned not saying anything.
Gerard looked uncomfortable. “I want to tell you something but I need to ask that you keep this in the strictest of confidence. I want you to understand what happened that fucking pushed me over the edge.”
“Liv died.” Kara said flatly. “You loved her and she died.”
“No.” Gerard shook his head. “That’s not what caused me to act like a fucking jackass.” He took out his pack of cigarettes and held them up questioningly. Kara nodded that it was okay to smoke in the house and he lit one. “Look, I’m telling you this because I want you to understand. It wasn’t just Liv’s death that caused this.”
Kara sat back. “Okay, tell me. What the fuck happened that made you hurt my mom like you did.”
Gerard took a deep drag then answered. “Finding out that Mikey might be Elle’s father.”
Kara felt her mouth drop open.

Monica walked into the apartment and noticed the smell of pizza filling the air.
“Hi, Mom.” Kelly greeted her. “Elle and I made homemade pizza for dinner.”
“Wes did.” Elle agreed standing at Kelly’s side. “Mes ungry.”
It has hard not to laugh at the seriousness in Elle’s voice. “So your name is hungry?”
Elle giggled, “No, mes Elle.”
They all sat down at the table and dug into the pizza. Monica praised both girls telling them the pizza was excellent. Elle was telling Monica about her day in the park when Monica’s cell rang. She felt her heart speed up thinking it might be Gerard. She excused herself from the table and walked into the living room to answer. She sighed when she saw it was Donna.
“Hello, Donna.”
“Monica, no one knows where he’s gone. I’ve called everyone I can think of and no one’s heard from him.”
Monica herself was growing very worried but tried to keep it under control. “I’m sure he’s fine.” She said softly.
“I just know how upset he’s been when I’ve talked to him.” Donna said. “He kept telling me how badly he wanted to get home so this doesn’t make any sense. I even called Bob thinking maybe he’d talked to Gerard.”
“I don’t know what to say, Donna.”
Donna’s voice was full of worry and sadness. “I know he wants to talk to you.” She said as if trying to convince herself.
Monica was once again feeling overwhelmed. She was worried about Gerard. “Please let me know if you hear from him.” She said softly.
“I will, Honey.” Donna said before disconnecting.

“Mikey?” Kara repeated in shock.
Gerard looked down, “Please promise me you’ll never talk about this to anyone. Not even Bryar.”
Kara hated the idea of keeping anything from Bob but she understood how personal this was to Gerard. “I promise.” She said slowly.
Gerard nodded. “The morning I was leaving the house I said my final goodbye to Liv and walked out into the hall. I told Monica to stay with Liv because she was so upset. I started to go out to meet the shuttle but then I remembered I hadn’t told your mom that I love her so I went back up to Liv’s room. That’s when I overheard her telling Monica that she’d slept with Mikey.”
“Oh, fuck.” Kara said softly. She was still trying to make sense of it all. “But I don’t understand. You were so upset that you took it out on Mom?”
“Neither she or Liv knew that I had overheard them talking. I left the house and went back to the tour. All the time letting it rot my soul thinking about Mikey and Liv. My anger just got worse waiting for your mom to tell me. I was sure she would after Liv was gone but she didn’t. I took her keeping Liv’s secret as a betrayal.”
Slowly the fog began to clear. “So you got angry at mom for not telling you. Shit, didn’t you realize that she wouldn’t? She knew how badly knowing that would mess you up.”
“Kara, I was so angry and hurt I wasn’t thinking straight. I had just found out that the woman I had loved had fucked my brother.” His voice shook. This was still so painful to speak about.
“So Liv died and Mom kept her secret?” Kara said slowly.
“Yeah.” Gerard nodded. “And I fucking lost it. The final straw was when I demanded a paternity test and she refused.”
“Oh shit.” Kara sat back. “But I thought you just said you didn’t want anyone to know.” She realized something. “What did Mikey say when you confronted him? Fuck, does Alicia know?”
“Mikey doesn’t know. Shit, it only happened once and he was wasted out of his mind at the time.” He said looking across the room lost in the memory of the day he almost confronted Mikey.
“So Mikey has no idea?”
Gerard shook his head.
“And you’re not gonna tell him, ever?”
“No, he’s happily married and he and Alicia are going to have a baby. It would only hurt them if the truth came out.”
“So you forgave him but not Mom?” Kara asked. “I’m still not getting it.”
“Your mom is the one who made me realize that confronting Mikey would cause pain not only to him but his wife. It would damage the relationship I have with my brother and I love him too much to do that.”
Kara sat lost in thought. “So you broke up with mom out of anger. Not because you stopped loving her?”
“I never have or ever will stop loving her.” He said locking eyes with Kara. “Never.”
“Gerard, why are you here? Did you try to talk to mom?”
He shook his head, “Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first. I know I hurt you and Kelly and I hate myself for that. I’m trying to make things right again.”
“Let me get this straight? You came here first and not to Mom? Are you f-in’ out of your mind? Seriously.” Kara stood and yanked Gerard to his feet. “Get your sorry emo ass out of here and back home where you belong.” She tried to shove him toward the door. He turned and tried to speak. Kara cut him off. “I cannot believe you came here first. Are you nuts?” He opened his mouth again. Again she cut him off. “No, go home. Go fix this.”
Gerard turned and headed for the door, but before he could reach it, they heard a ruckus in the kitchen.
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