What if Luna responded differently to Harry during their conversation before the leaving feast? AU set near the end of OoTP. Harry/Luna
- Damn. I was hoping for The Talk in this chapter. Ah well, can't have it all. Nice bit of character-building here, and the Mad-eye review of McGonagall's actions was perfect. Now, while stuff happened in this chapter, i found the pace a bit low. While travelling logistics are of interest, it's not really something that keeps me on the edge of my seat.
On to suggestions. Have Dan back out of shopping and join Remus in The Talk. Have them pool their experiences and give the poor lad a clear one, without room for misunderstandings. I'd love for Dan to, with a pained face, give the poor lad a few technical hints because if they work on Hermione's mother, they should work on Hermione too and then blush ferociously. Damn, I'd love that. Let Xeno hear about it and give corresponding hints. MWAHAHAHA! Sorry.
Author's responseHi Vanir,
Some interesting ideas there with having Dan roped into the talk after all.. I can see Emma pushing him into that.. Then again, I'm sure Luna would probably join in the discussion as well if she heard about it.
I hear what you are saying about the pace, and frankly that's part of what held up the chapter - my desire to bring in some of the more 'interesting' plot twists.
The other thing is I'm fighting to avoid using cliches as much as I can. I know I've read so many fics about Harry at a will reading (for example) that there's not much new that can be written about that. Most times I just shrug and wonder why. Why is it that if the Potters &/or Blacks are so rich, with so many properties that they managed to end up as they did, without using any of their vault contents. I'm hoping to do a little better than that when I get to it.
Anyway, back to the pace issue.. in the end I reminded myself that the story so far has all been about the characters and their interactions/interpretations, rather than action. So that's what I've gone with until the story tells me otherwise. :)
PS. I can't wait to use all the ideas you've given me for Sweden.
- I thought I had reviewed here. Well all i can say is I can't wait til Harry & Co. get to Bisness with Dumbles and of course Voldy-pants!!
BTw I love the closeness pf harry to Luna and Hermione, He needs both of them and their differeing opinions to make the best decisions and plans possible.
Plus having the rest will be pivotal in their future conflicts!
( A firm H/Hr/L Faaaaaaan!)
Author's responseHi Dennis,
Sadly, you will need to wait a little for any sort of confrontation with Voldy.
Something for people to think about in the meantime.. Does it strike anyone as odd that given how many death eaters show up in the graveyard scene, and how mny are captured at the DoM, that so many authors still seem to have armies of evil-doers running around following the instructions of the crucio-inflicting maniac himself?
Well, it strikes me as odd. ;)
(#) Wonderbee31 2008-07-27 12:08:00 PMFun chapter here, and really enjoyed Moody letting Minerva know where she went wrong, as well as Tonks winding her up, followed by Remus getting it next. Sweet to see the three of them in bed, and can't wait to see what all goes down next, as well as whatever surprise Albus will have when Min shows up with Alastor at the meet.
Author's responseOh yeah, I'm looking forward to some of the Dumbles stuff as well.. ;)
I'm also rather curious to see how the Min/Snape conversation works out as well.
Tonks is one of my favourites. I've always pictured her as bright and fun to have around, so I have no trouble imagining her stirring the pot when she can.
- Yes, a bit slow but necessary (so hopefully will just see results or miscues). Harry and Luna see their first movie, could also be interesting. I hope we don't haved to see 'the talk' in detail though!
Author's responseHi DrT,
I'm sure the conversation around the Talk will be more involved than the actual talk itself, but.. it's not written yet, so no promises. :)
As for the pace, I think it's necessary too. :) I tend to feel a little let down in those stories where Harry goes from single to all-but-engaged-with-his-life-partner in a couple of chapters. I think the girls are doing a good job conditioning Harry so far. :)
(#) animemonster 2008-07-27 03:43:19 PMPoor Remus... I'm so glad that you're discussing that issue since it never came up in the books, would it have been that hard for JKR to put in the first part of OotP a sentence along the lines of: "Sirius and Harry talked in the parlor about things that a teenage wizard must know about witches and wizards." She wouldn't have even had to go into details, but I think it would have been more responsible and less prudish.
And the plan gets revised again, that is something I really like about this story, the revisions in the plan. I also love how you made Moody in this, he's the perfect mix between paranoia and a type of wisdom that only the battle conscious can have. I can't describe it, but I think you've hit the nail right on the head.
Luna's comment at the end of the sleeping arrangements was funny. I could see her as the type not to sleep in a nightie, but I don't see her as the type to sleep in the nude (probably a tank top and panties).
Author's responseCouldn't agree more about some of the things that JKR should have written about, but didn't. Oh well, that's what makes fanfic so much fun to read. (It's fun to write as well).
What I'm hoping for is that all characters will have their good and bad days, their chance for smart and stupid moments, etc.. I doubt I'll be able to keep track of who should or shouldn't be PMS'ing on a regular basis, but I'd be disappointed in myself if I got a review with the words 'mary-sue' in it anywhere.
You don't see Luna as the sleeping nude type even after reading about her swimming preferences? Hmmm, well, it's hard to tell with Luna whether she is just teasing or not isn't it. My guess is she's not overly focussed on what other people think are taboos. Her honesty, seeing things as they really are (She saw through Harry's disguise in DH) and her apparant closeness to nature and creatures (real and imagined) suggest to me that she propbably would be a closet nudist. Not an exhibitionist though.
Anyway, I don't know about Harry, but she'd have me wrapped around her little finger by now. :D
(#) jabarber69 2008-07-27 07:28:12 PMoh god I wish I was harry, I would glady welcome luna and hermione both in to my bed for life and at the same time no less!
Author's responseMe too. Of course, Harry has built up enought Karmic credit to deserve such an outcome, don't you think?
- I found the pace appropriate to what was being covered to keep the story plausible; you're managing to weave information in without being too overt about it. I thought the various discussions about 'The Talk' were amusing and I offer my opinion that Dan and Xeno really ought to take part for the reasons other reviewers have mentioned. I rather suspect that we're going to see some interesting dynamics between Harry, HErmione, and Luna and this reader rahter hopse they settle into a group relationship simply because Harry can use too such divergent abd intelligent views (to borrow from Marx, theiss - antithesis -> synthesis) which taken together will yield better advice than either, separately.
Author's responseThanks Cateagle,
If I were a betting man, I'd lay odds on Dan's attempt to escape the talk failing. I also think it's altogether possible that some of the other blokes like Xeno and Alastor might pop into a pub for a Guinness or two at an opportune moment...
As for the H/L/Hr, it's becoming more likely that it'll happen in some form or another.. not sure yet. As far as the polling goes, every vote now is going to the triplet (Currently 73% in favour).
(#) PerfesserN 2008-07-28 04:28:47 AMNice pace here - nice and easy does it; a slow buildup to a satisfying climax (or three).
So let me cast my vote in favor of the triple.
As far as "the talk" in the pub I can see it starting off with Remus, then, just as Harry is getting comfortable with the idea of intimacy have Dan “happen” by. Followed too soon by Xeno and then Alistor - who would insist on casting a broad-spectrum "finite" on the girl to make sure she wasn't imperioused (never mind that such an action would negate any contraceptive spells, that’s what condoms are for). Just when it looks like it couldn’t get any more uncomfortable for our hero have Tonks put in her tuppance worth (or two knuts worth) so that it ultimately becomes an open forum a la’ Dr. Phil in the bar snowballing out of control as Harry tries to make himself smaller, and smaller. . .
Oh we love to torture our hero, don’t we?
(#) PerfesserN 2008-07-28 04:39:30 AMNice pace here - nice and easy does it; a slow buildup to a satisfying climax (or three).
So let me cast my vote in favor of the triple.
As far as "the talk" in the pub I can see it starting off with Remus, then, just as Harry is getting comfortable with the idea of intimacy have Dan “happen” by. Followed too soon by Xeno and then Alistor - who would insist on casting a broad-spectrum "finite" on the girl to make sure she wasn't imperioused (never mind that such an action would negate any contraceptive spells, that’s what condoms are for). Just when it looks like it couldn’t get any more uncomfortable for our hero have Tonks put in her tuppance worth (or two knuts worth) so that it ultimately becomes an open forum a la’ Dr. Phil in the pub snowballing out of control as Harry tries to make himself smaller, and smaller. . .
Oh we love to torture our hero, don’t we?
P.S. I edited this review - hopefully it won't double post.