Gerard recaptures the story to a curious Jade and Elle. Meanwhile he's starting to wonder about his own future.
"So what exactly went down that night?"
Obviously he was referring to THAT night. As in the night when I took over one of his rooms.
At first I thought I could maybe skip the question as I directed my cart further down.
"Me and Elle sang and acted like idiots to Moulin Rouge," I shrugged, not really paying attention to shampoo bottle I was holding in my hands.
Hey, it wasn't a lie.
"Wai-what? I mean...that's cool I guess, but what happened with you and you brother and your aunt and all that?"
I guess there was really no avoiding it now. After all he was my best friend. Not to mention my first best friend since Mikey had ditched me. Guess I just wasn't used to laying my emotions out on the line.
"You know what? You don't have to tell me," he brushed me off grabbing coconut shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.
Guess that would explain Jade and Elle's tropical smell.
I bit my lip and started off slowly, following him down the aisle. My words stumbled out of my mouth.
I told him about Aunt Tracy and how shocked I'd been that they were moving without me. He'd sympathetically nodded. Then I even more quietly explained what Mikey and Me had said to each other. A few times I held myself back, thinking that maybe I could somehow justify myself.
But the words were ugly regardless, and I felt just as ugly as before.
It was practically like reliving the whole fight. I pictured myself cumbling up again, this time just giving out in the middle of the aisle. I would just feel my face against the cold, dirty floor.
But another side of me began to feel the same resentment in me. Stronger now, due to his absenc.
Maybe I really didn't need him.
When I finished with my story, Jade still didn't look me in the eye. He just kept on going done the aisle in silence. After awhile, realizing I was finished with my story. [Because I paused a lot during so, mental images plaguing my mind, slapping me in the face.]
"Well that sucks. That makes your whole family now, doesn't it?"
Jade knew about my 'invisible' parents. I guess he was right in a sense. It was like slowly my family had all filed out of my life one-by-one, like I'd just said a really corny joke or something and everyone was just embarrassed for me or something.
Mikey was the last to close to the door on my life.
And I kept thinking this to myself later on in the night as I layed on the pillow and sheetsI'd paid for at Wal-Mart.
A storm was raging on outside and my insides mimicked.
Outrageous thoughts swarmed my brain like anxious bats awakened in a bright light.
Now I was starting over.
I was seventeen. I had a paying job.
No family to pull me back.
No strings attached-
All of a sudden Elliot walked in.
'Course I was so concentrated at first that I didn't realize it was her and I mean, hey, c'mon I was having crucial thoughts while thunder and lightening was going on. AND little people's shadows are waaay creepier than taller people's shadows.
I won't deny I had supress initial thoughts of defense against her. But then of course I realized I wouldn't be needing that against the twelve-year old girl it turned out to be.
A flash of lightening lit up her face and I saw her tear stained cheeks and I knew something was wrong.
"I'm really scared of thunder and Jade won't stay awake with me."
A wave of compassion washed over whatever previous aggravation I may have felt before.
Mikey used to ask if I could do the same thing for him. Something was comforting about not having to face a fear alone and awake while the rest of the world lay dormant in sleep.
"Okay here," I said getting up and leaving my thoughts behind for the moment.
I ushered her back to her room gently, noticing how incredibly small and fragile she seemed compared to my much larger figure.
I lead her into her room and she laid herself back down on her bed.
"So you're afraid of thunderstorms, mm?"
She nodded her head slowly, her body rigid.
I felt a little awkward. Like stepping into a pool of water the first time.
This was a new pool.
Because when Mikey was scared when we were little, all he needed was for me to sing to him and he was right back to sleep.
Elliot, however, was a different story.
I had NO IDEA how I would comfort her.
And I sang.
author's note: hey! my first! thank you so much to all my wonderful readers out there. your support is greatly appreciated. ^___^ i just really wanted to say that