FicWad

it was early in the morning, joe was in the bathroom looking at the mirror, lost in his thoughts..
why did he have this feeling? he was disgusted with himself..he felt a tear running down his face..he was interupted by a knock on the door..
"joe, can you hurry up?" he heard his younger brothers voice & it gave him chills..he opened the door to find nick standing beside the door with his arms crossed, giving his back against the wall & leaning on it..even at this time of the day he looked amazing..
"finally" nick said while going into the bathroom, joe said nothing he just gave him half a smile & looked at him untill he shut the door, seeing his brother made his heart feel like someone was squeezing it untill it would blow up, but he didnt let it show...

he went to the bedroom, kevin was sitting on a bed, he was holding a picture of them.
joe sat beside kevin looking at the picture, "what are you looking at?"
"uhh, nothing i was just remembering that day" replied kevin, nervouse, thinking, why why did his brother have to be so amazing that the sound of his voice made him shiver?
"so did you remember?" asked joe, "no" kevin replied fast putting the oicture back on the nightstand & standing up
"im gonna go see if nicks done yet", joe nodded as kevin went out of the room.

a few minutes later they were all in the kitchen, joe staring at nick, kevin staring at joe & nick staring at his food..
the staring was interupted when there mom came in & told them it was time to go.
about 30 minutes later there on the tour bus, they were in the middle of nowhere, and suddenly the bus broke down.
each brother was in his bed, nothing else to do, there parents didnt go with them this time, it was just them and the bus driver and big rob was already at the place they were going..
they all got up and got out of the bus, it was all just sand around them & the road they were on..
they tried calling someone, but there was no signal..
they all waited and waited, for anyone to pass by that road, but nothing..
a few hours later, joe was sitting on the couch in the tour bus, kevin & nick were outside, the sun had set & it was pretty dark, joe sat there, he started thinking is this a sign?..should he tell him? its the only chance he will get..
he shook his head & got up, he decided he would just go for a walk untill someone came, walking always got him in a better mood.
kevin stared at joe as he went out of the tour bus, he wanted to tell him so bad, but he couldnt, he wouldnt, he shouldnt..

as joe was walking he stopped..he though "what the hell am i doing?, if he dosent feel the same way then atleast i would know, i need to." he turned around & started walking back to the tour bus, he looked for nick & grabbed him, he took him far from the bus where noone would see them..
nick had no idea what was going on as joe was holding him from his armd and taking him further into the desert..
suddenly they stopped and joe looked at nick..
"nick, I have something to tell you.."he said nervous as he could be
nick looked at him telling him to go on..
"I uhh..look theres no better way to say this.."joe said before he grabed nick and kissed him, it felt so good, nick held his hands off his head & was about to push him away untill he felt joe's tongue making its way in..his hands let go of joe & went to his waist, nick pulled him closer holding him in his arms while making out..
joe stopped.."so, i guess you know what I was about to say.."
nick looked him in the eye.."& I guess you know what my answer is" he replied, kissing joe again..
they both felt like never before, so happy, so confused, so excited..
then they were interupted by nicks cell phone ringing, the signal was back, it was kevin, they had a ride waiting for them & they had to go now. So they went.
they arrived, preformed & joe and nick couldnt help but smile at each other & joe kept giving nick hugs on stage and the audience thought it was just brotherly love..it was love alright, but definatley not brotherly..
so after that, they were in there hotel rooms and nick & joe shared a room together, joe shut the door & nick knew exactly what was going on, they started making out again..joe holding nick tight they threw themselves at a bed and nick felt joes hand going up his shirt, down his pants..everywhere really..
a few minutes later, the door was opened, they were caught, they backed off each other & looked at the door, there hearts still beating like crazy there breaths still deep & hard to take..it was kevin, he looked at them both..then he looked at joe, he couldnt help but start crying..he turned around & walked back to his room, joe looked at nick & then followed kevin..
"hey, kevin wait" joe yelled
kevin sat on his bed his face was red, his eyes redder full of tears he felt his heart being torn into little peices..
"kevin, i know what you saw was a little..strange but please..." joe said, being interupted kevin got off the bed tears in his eyes
"joe its not that! are you that blind?!!" kevin screamed at him..
"what?" joe said, confused by his brothers words..
there was a moment of silence, kevin you could see kevin hyperventilating from his yelling & crying..they were looking each other in the eyes then suddenly kevin threw himself at joe, making joe back up till he was against the wall, it was not a soft kiss, it was hard..it even hurt a little..kevin backed away
"im sorry" kevin said, to a surprised wide eyed joe
"i-im sorry too" said joe...feeling as if he was in some sort of dream..almost numb..
kevin went ran to the bathroom, shut the door, locked it, joe just stared at it..
kevin broke down & fel on the floor crying, he held on to the sink and got up, he looked in the mirror angry as hell and hit it, he hit the mirror & it got shattered, his hand was bleeding like crazy but he didnt care he took a peice of the broken mirror & helf it against his wrist, he hesitated..he thought, what the hell is he doing?..then he put down his wrist & directed the peice of the mirror to his heart, crying even more..."nothing is worth this pain" he said to himself before he pushed the glass into his heart falling to the floor..it hurt so bad..he was coughing blood..before he died he wrote with his own blood on the floor.."im sorry, I love yo-" he died before he could even finish the sentence his head and upper body fell to the ground making a loud bang and joe was startled, he knocked on the bathroom door "kevin, kevin are you ok?" "kevin answer me!" he had no answer..he called for nick to come, they both broke down the bathroom door and gasped at the sight of there brother laying on the floor covered in his own blood with a broken peice of mirror through his heart..beside him a message on the floor, nick couldnt handle the sight and his knees gave out, he fell on the floor crying & joe went to kevin, sat beside him..took a look at him before he kissed him..he was crying covered in his brothers blood he put his head on kevins shoulder and held him as close as he could repeating "im sorry, im sorry" to the body of his brother..he looked at nick but he wasnt there, he had left he stood in the balcony crying, he stood over the the thing fence, they were at the 20'th floor, but he didnt care, he looked down and as joe ran to stop him..it was too late..joe missed nick by seconds he cried and screamed like a maniac holding on to the fence faling down on the floor..not beleiving what had just happened..he went back to the bathroom took out the broken peice out of kevin & pushed it through his own heart..frustrated..angry..devistated..sad..he saw his own life flashing through his head, he fell & crawled next to kevin putting his arm over him before he eventually died..it was the only way he could be with them., he couldnt survive on his own..
...he didnt survive on his own.