The coming of a season that preps one in repose....
Ray's journal entry concerning the things of fall 1989:.
Life is beautiful really it is.
I don't think anything can bring me down now, not even the problems with my mama. She made it quite clear that she doesn't want me to be around gerard anymore, she says that she's heard some things and i asked her what?.
She didn't really get into it with me but she said that someone told her that being around gerard can give me what he has, but the sad thing is
i don't even know what that is.
Gee hasn't told me and everytime i ask him he says don't worry about it that he's doing fine. But i see that his skin is getting red in places and he's so weak now. Gee can't be around smoke without coughing and he can't run for long periods of time so we opt to pass the last days of summer back in his backyard.
But fall has come and with it has leaked to us sweet freedom because we now spend our days at the nearby park. The air is crisp yes, but we like it like that i love the fall it is the time when everything is so beautiful and nature really gears up and shows you how gorgeous it can be. I love the tree's and the colorful sky, i love the many colored leaves that fall and pile to our heads, and i love watching gerard in his lovely fall coat.
It is black i mean the blackest of black and has these cute matching gloves to them that cover his lovely hands, around his neck he wears a fluffy but light black scarf and wears this hat with a puff drooping off the back. Gee's lovely mother brought me a very expensive coat that matched his but was in white instead, both our coats have fur around the hoods and at the cuff's of our coats sleeves.
We would play in the pile's of leaves that littered the park's grounds and would slide on the slides and swing with eachother. One night after everyone else went home me and gee snuck out each of our bedroom windows and met eachother at the park under the huge oak tree we layed under in the summer.
Leaves was all around it and the sky was towering over that beautiful tree as we layed under it. I sat up with my back against the tree while gerard sat ontop of my legs facing me, he snuggled his warm face into the crook of my neck as i whispered to him.
I had fell inlove with him for sure there was no doubt about it, i could no longer keep these feelings to myself i had to share them with him. So as gee breathed against my neck i began talking i asked him did he like girl's and he told me a little and then i said did he ever think about them and he told me.
The body of a girl fascinated gerard greatly, her shapely waist and her ever flat stomach, he also said their lips were gorgeous and their hands irresistible!. But as far as wanting a girl like really wanting her gerard said no, he then told me that he liked boys a little bit better and that he felt somewhat wanted by them more than by girl's themselves.
Boys were lovely gerard said, all hard yet parts on their body was soft all at the same time. I asked gerard what parts were those and he simply told me, the treasures between their legs. I wanted him in that time to tell me he loved me, that i was the one he wanted that me alone would satisfy that something that i knew gerard craved.
I had heard of sex before but never with that of a male and i didn't know how it worked but at that moment in time i knew that i wanted it. But the only thing that i could think of was to touch gee so i did, and i reached out and slid my hand along his body and into his warm shirt. There i found his smooth chest and adorable tummy and the lining of his jeans, i then dipped my hand into them and tugged at his underwear until they propped open.
Gee's lenght was long and hard yet soft at the same time, making me finally understand what he meant by hard and soft body parts on boy's. I then felt him tense up around me and i whispered what was wrong, he told me that he was scared and i asked why but he wouldn't answer. He didn't have to i knew what it was it was about his illness and it was growing worse.
I then asked him should i stop and he said no pleading with me to touch him and i did.
I sat perfectly still as gerard hugged me tight, moving his hips earnestly against my hand that was wrapped around him inbetween his legs. His movements were slow and circular at first, but as time went on gee beganned to fall out of rhythym and sweetly lose control. He was moaning deep in my ear and started kissing my neck as his legs eased open more allowing me to clutch his whole area and give him full pumping power.
I moved my head back from him to gaze at him as he rode me his eyes were closed peacefully and his lips were in a half pretty smile, his hair was all over his eyes and his lashes were shimmering with broken moonlight. I watched his skin that was so pale blaze into a pretty pink, i watched his eyes open and close as he moved in deeper patterns, and i sighed when he spontaneousily kissed me over and over and over again.
He was beauty and i had captured it in the fall of 1989.
Gee's ejaculation was nothing short of miraculous as he shuddered and shook sighing with content as he came over and ontop of me. I watched i wanted to blink...i really did but i couldn't miss this, and although i had satisfied his wants i wanted more.
I said his name timidly when he opened his eyes and gazed at me i couldn't stop myself from saying it it had to be done. I told gee that i loved him and that i wanted him to come away with me i had been wanting this for some time now. I had always imagined me and gerard living off the land together just him and me travelling wherever love took us.
Our parents would miss us yes, but i couldn't pass this up i had to be with him. I know that i am only 11 years old but the heart is never to young to know what it wants and i want gerard. But gerard simply leaned his head against my chest and laughed at me and i wondered why was he laughing at me?.
Gerard said that i was only 11 and he 12 and where would we go? and i told him my mama had money all around her house and i could easily take it and use it for us to travel with. I had watched those romantic movies before and i had seen those characters who would love eachother so much that they'd go on the run together. I loved gerard
so why couldn't we do that?.
Then gerard suddenly sat up and said to me, that once my birthday would pass and i was 12 he would run away together with me, that he would leave everything and everyone behind for me, that together we would make a living on the money that i and him provided.
" But what about if they were to catch us, what about if they were to trap us up and force us to come home with them thus seperating us from eachother forever.....then what would we do? " i asked i loved gerard to much....although he didn't say he loved me
but gerard replied, simply kissing me and saying:
" We'd commit suicide together ".
Awww for the love of god! i am so love depressed i wish that i could have someone that was that faithful to me to the point that they were willing to die with me just to love me forever. But that is why this is fictionous there is no one like that in the world...but how i wish they were. Um anyway review my darlings and tell me if you believe love exists like that because i plan to end this story tommorow and boy does it end tragically bye!.