Kari is terminally ill, sad fanfic about her reaching for her dream (better than it sounds I promise)
- Bleh. Interesting idea, but the writing could see some improvement.
It doesn't quite seem to 'flow'. Chances are, you're either trying too hard or not enough. I'm inclined to think the latter.
Watch punctuation and vocabulary- try to use some interesting words. Throw in a good adjective or adverb from time to time. Better yet, use them regularly. Modifiers are an author's best friends.
Author's responseErmmm, thanks?
It's not like I want a perfect story, just something people enjoy reading.
But I will consider what you said anyway.
- Hi Dondon,
I'm a little slow!!
I love the premise of this. Looking forward to reading more.
Its fine, I was so excited when I got your review. I was like yey Moonshyne is reading!
This is a little side story while Im working on my other one
Thanks for your review :)