The night dragged on until at an insanely early time I declared I was going to bed, Bob said a polite good night and thankyou, Frank said nothing.
My head ached from the thoughts that raced through it and I hoped I would be able to fall asleep before Frank came to bed.
Little chance of that happening.
"Night Bob. See you in the morning." My heart beat increased as I heard Franks footsteps approaching the bedroom, I stripped down quickly and dived into the bed, burrowing under the covers and faking sleep. I heard the door close as Frank entered the room and I tried to look convincing, I thought I might have got away with it too as Frank gently slid into the bed beside me, turning his back to me and lying silence for a moment. I didnt have time to sigh with relief though as he began to speak.
"You can stop pretending your asleep now." I muttered 'damn!' beneath my breath and tried to calm my nerves.
"How did you know?" I asked lamely and to my surprise I heard Frank chuckle quietly, it wasnt filled with his usual warmth but it was something.
"I may not have had an education Gerard but I'm smart enough to know that no one falls asleep that fast." He said darkly. I sighed and rolled over to face his back, wishing that I could just reach out and hold him like usual.
"I never meant that you were stupid..." I said quietly.
"I know." There was another small silence before Frank began speaking again. "Gee... why did you lie to me?" The blunt question caught me off gaurd though I had been expecting it, I felt a stab in my heart and I bowed my head.
"I dont know..." I whispered. Frank flipped over to glare at me, but I refused to look at him, keeping my gaze on the matress. I knew he expected me to say something so I slowly began to speak again. "I know I shouldnt have its just... I figured it must have been one of the girls who worked there or something and you just assumed it was me and... I guess I just felt like if I said I hadnt tried to help then you wouldnt want to talk to me... I just wanted you to talk to me..." I whispered, tears in my eyes. I sensed Franks body becoming more relaxed and I was shocked when he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into him.
"Oh Gerard, you know I would have talked to you." He said quietly. I shook my head and sniffed.
"No you wouldnt, you would have hated me because you heard me crying and if you knew I hadnt tried to help even though I heard it all you'd be mad at me... like now..." Frank sighed and bowed his head, kissing my hair.
"I'm not angry... And I dont hate you...I just... I dont understand..." I risked glancing up at his face to see his eyes closed, silent tears running down his cheeks.
"What dont you understand?" I asked.
"Its just... You say you love me and stuff but, even though you heard what he was doing to me you didnt try to help..." Frank began to shake lightly with his small sobs and I swear I felt my heart break. I squeezed him tight to me and tried not to cry myself.
"Frankie, I didnt know you then. I wasnt to know I'd ever fall in love with you, that I'd fall in love at all! I know I should've helped you and please believe me when I say I wanted to, I just felt... Paralyzed or something, I was screaming at myself to go and knock that door down and kill that bastard but I couldnt move, all I could do was put my hands on the wall and cry with you..." I began to sob too as I realised how much of a fool I was. "I'm s - sorry Frankie, I do love you... Please dont run off with Bob!" I cried, clutching him to me and sobbing into his shoulder as a look of shock covered his damp face. I have no idea where the idea of him running off with Bob came from it just popped into my head and for some reason it seemed logical. Frank gently but firmly pushed me back so he could look at me as I cried, his mouth agape.
"What? Run off with Bob? Gerard, what makes you think I'd do that!?" He sounded confused as whether to laugh or cry.
"Because I didnt try to help you, he did. And now he's come back and he can protect you from Gary more than I ever could and I'm an idiot for not doing anything that night and everyone and thing I ever care about always end up leaving me or forgetting about me or dieing!" I sobbed uncontrollably, only vaguely aware that I was being an idiot. Frank stared at me, unsure of what to do before slapping me round the face. Hard. I stared at him in horror as the tears continued to fall.
"W - wah - "
"Sorry Gerard." Frank gently caressed my reddened cheek with guilt on his face. "I just wanted to slap some sense into you." I couldnt tell whether he was joking or not, and if he was joking it wasnt very funny.
"Y - you..?"
"Look, Gee. I'm not going to run off with Bob. I cant believe you'd ever think I would! I love you, and I dont care that it was Bob who tried to save me and not you... well... I do care, but thats not the point! I understand why you didnt do anything and you've more than made up for it with everything else you've done for me. You've beaten Gary up plenty of times, you brought me here to America even though you faced the risk of being rejected by your family, you bought me the pub and you showed me I could trust you, ever since I met you life just got sweeter and sweeter so it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. All relationships have ups and downs and this was a down, but we're over it right? I love you." I sighed against him as he held me close again.
"I love you too." I answered, putting all feeling I could into those simple words.
"Then its settled. Lets just forget all about it. Please." I nodded my agreement and Frank smiled at me as I cupped his face gently and brushed some of his hair back, his leaned forward and my eyes closed as he pushed his lips to mine, his hands softly wrapping round my waist. I shifted so that I was propping my body up with my elbows, hovering over Frank and working my lips gently against his, my hair falling forward to make a sort of curtain around our faces. He moved his hands up my back and pulled me down to rest my body on his, feeling the warmth spread like delicious fire. I didnt want to go far tonight, what with the truth having come out and upset Frank, and with Bob in the spare room next door. But it was difficult not to surrender into the passionate kiss Frank easily dragged me into, his tongue slipping into my mouth before I could even register it and invading my taste buds with his inoxicating essence. Damn him, he just sapped my complete self control, and so casually. I pressed my lips harder to his, wanting to taste and feel more, as if it was the first time. He clutched me tighter to him and the kiss was frenzied as it was slow. We kissed for a long time, until our lips hurt and my eyes ached with sleepiness. We pulled apart and giggled together, me rolling to the side so that I could pull him into me, wrapping my arms round him as he rested his head on my chest.
"I guess we're gonna have to be careful for a while huh?" Asked Frank. I frowned in confusion.
"What?" I asked. He smirked at me and chuckled quietly.
"Well, if Bobs next door we cant exactly be loud can we?" He teased. I tutted in mock exasperation even though I had to laugh a little.
"Dirty boy." I said as I poked him. Frank gasped in offence and shoved me.
"How dare you." He said over dramatically. "I am not a dirty boy. I'm a dirty man" I spluttered with laughter as he rested his head against me again, smiling to himself.
"Sorry, my mistake." I smirked. He giggled and I yawned loudly, Frank snuggling closer to me, a sign that we were prepared to sleep.
"Night night, dont let Bob bite." I gave Frank a shocked look but his eyes were closed, a small smirk playing on his lips.