In which our hero can't sleep...
It's too hot, my head hurts, my nose is stuffy, I'm tired and I can't sleep.
I climb out of bed and stretch my limbs out. I can't see anything in the dark and I walk right into my drums in an attempt to get to the door. Fuckin' hurt too!
I go into Slash's bedroom and tiptoe up to his bed and climb in, curling up beside him. Aaaah...
I can't sleep.
He starts snoring. Fucking snoring! Jesus Christ how am I supposed to sleep next to a monster truck engine?
I jump out of his bed and walk to the door, throwing him an evil look as I leave.
I push the next door down the hall open and enter Izzy's room. Man he needs to tidy this place up a bit. I carefully place my steps around an obstacle course of clothes, guitars, bottles, various drug paraphernalia... that I notice he has borrowed without asking me.
I climb in and get myself settled into his bed next to him. Oh yes. This is it now. Here we go...Nodding off...Any minute now...
"Mmmrrph...nn-nnooo! Noooo!!! AAAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!"
Izzy's hand. Right in my face. Damn those fucking drug nightmares!
I quickly jump out of bed before I get whacked again. I scurry towards the door, still hearing him yelling in his sleep and I stop and turn around.
Maybe I should wake him up?
He flays an arm about wildly. I think not. I run out the door and across the hall to Duff's room. Sweet, sane, sleeping Duff.
I sigh in relief. Now I can finally sleep. I slip into bed next to him, wrapping his covers around me. Sweet bliss...
The bed starts shaking as he rolls over onto his other side. He settles in his new position and the bed is still again. I close my eyes again and try to sleep.
Oh no. Not again. He starts shifting about once more, making me shake along with the bed. After about ten minutes of his constant need for position changing I'm at my wits end. I can't take this anymore.
I cannot sleep!
I leap out of his bed and stomp into Axl's room. That little redheaded fucker better not snore, or scream, or hit, or fucking move so much as an inch or else I will actually go insane!
I flop down onto the bed next to him and stare at the ceiling. I just want to go to sleep. Why can't I just go to sleep?
"I can't sleep either."
I turn my head and stare into his big eyes.
"Well if you can't sleep and I can't sleep, then how the fuck are we going to get to sleep?"
"I know how..."
Five Hot Steamy Minutes Later...
He rolls off and lies back down next to me, both of us covered in sweat. After a minute or two our breathing finally gets back to normal.
"Fuck, I'm tired now."
Now I can definitely...go to...ZZZZZZzzzzz.....