Categories > TV > Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Meet the Parents

You’re Scared of What!?

by Midknight_J 6 reviews

Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Rating: PG - Genres:  - Published: 2008-10-19 - Updated: 2008-10-19 - 1502 words

2Funny
Drabble Series: Meet the Parents
Title: You’re Scared of What!?
Pairing: Xander/Wonder Girl
Disclaimer: I'm poor and therefore own none of these characters.

Note: I don't know anything about what the Greek Gods are like in the DCU just that it was recently revealed that Zeus is Cassie's father. I'm not sure who I'm going to do next so any suggestions are welcome.

***

Xander frantically patted his smoking pant leg with his hands looking rather ridiculous while hopping on one foot trying to keep his balance. It was a losing battle as he finally lost his footing only for a pair of strong yet feminine arms to easily hold him upright. He sighed contently nonetheless as he put the last of the fire out.

After a moment he righted himself and glared down his burnt leg. The last wisps of smoke died as a large chunk of material off.

“I’ll kill him!” Xander seethed as Cassie handed him some cream to sooth the burns on his leg. “I swear if he sets me on fire one more time I’m going to kill him.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it. Kon is still getting a hold on his heat vision.” She almost sounded like she really believed that too. The effect was ruined at the hard look Cassandra Sandsmark, aka Wonder Girl, sent over Xander’s shoulder at her ex boyfriend.

***

“What’s he doing in the tower? Is that allowed? Can we bring civilians into the tower?”

Robin shrugged and fought the urge to look up from the schematics of his latest Red Bird and glare at Superboy. Best friend or not this was getting old.

“Stop glaring before you set his pants on fire again. He might start taking it personally.”

“So? Your point?”

“He lives on the Hellmouth and regularly fights vampires and demons alongside a mystically enhanced girl called The Slayer. He probably comes into contact with more supernatural artefacts by accident than most people do on purpose. Do you really think he couldn’t find something to hurt you with if he wanted?”

“Ya right!” Pause. “You don’t really think he could do you?”

Robin shrugged and went back to work. Hopefully now that the seed was planted in his friend’s mind he could get some peace and quiet for a while.

Tim almost groaned out loud as soon as he thought that. He really should know better. That was like saying ‘what could possibly go wrong’.

***

The alarm blared and the Titans were gone almost before the second tone. Something about a riot at Alcatraz. Before she flew out with the rest Cassie gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and told him not to worry.

Fat chance of that happening. He could no more not worry about someone he cares for than stop breathing.

Xander knew though, that he would only slow them down at this point. He wasn’t on their level. Not yet anyway. Maybe one day he would be, but not today.

That’s not to say he didn’t help Cassie when he could. He was just mainly support-o-guy like with Buffy. The main difference being that unlike Buffy, Cassie accepts that he chose to fight the darkness and has never tried to shield him from it or push he away from the battle against it. She knows he won’t stay sidelined forever.

It was just that he was used to fighting vampires and demons not super powered sociopath shooting lasers from their eyes. There is a different skill set and mentality involved there.

Cassie thinks he doesn’t know that she talked to Diana about getting him some training. It is supposed to be a surprise after all. Not to mention Diana would probably want to meet him at some point before looking to see if someone was even willing to train him.

For now he would stave off his worry by exploring the tower. Xander had to admit having a base shaped like a giant ‘T’ was a little weird, even by his standards.

Heading to the ground floor he came up with his first destination. Starfire’s garden. Beast Boy told him it was full of all kinds of weird alien plants and he couldn’t resist taking a peek now that the coast was clear.

Now if he had been paying attention when he opened the door Xander would have notice that it didn’t lead to the outside like it should or he wouldn’t have stepped through. Unfortunately he was lost in his own thoughts and only noticed something was amiss after he stepped through and heard the loud piercing echo of his footfalls on stone floor. It was too late by then, the doorway had already disappeared.

All right, no need to panic. Strange stuff like this happened all the time back in Sunnydale. Ok, maybe not just like this, but strange stuff happened.

Xander looked around finding himself in a massive brightly lit room lined with large ornate columns he vaguely remembered from some of Giles’ books on Ancient Greece. At the far end a white haired bearded man in a toga sat regally on a throne.

Xander walked towards the figure tapping his chest with his hands and spoke slowly. “Me Xander.” He waved his hands at the man expectantly.

“I am Zeus. I ask you mortal, what are your intentions with my daughter?”

That gave Xander pause. What does one do when they meet the head of the Greek Gods after all? Xander just said the first thing that popped in his head.

“Twinkie?”

It was a rare thing when Zeus was caught off guard by anything. Nonetheless he stared perplexedly at the proffered snack cake and the strange mortal before him.

***

“You offered the King of the Gods a Twinkie!?” Cassie exclaimed incredulously.

“Seemed like a good idea at the time.” Xander replied sheepishly. “Besides, he took it while muttering something about Hera and a diet. I didn’t quite catch it all.”

Cassandra shook her head at her boyfriend. “Only you could bond with a god over junk food.”

“It’s a gift.”

“Okay, enough talk of my father.” Cassie told him as she leaned back on the checkered blanket Xander had laid out for them on the tower roof. “You made us this nice picnic, a bottle of wine I’m not going to ask where you got, and a sunset on the horizon. All in all you’ve made quite the romantic setting.”

“Just don’t tell anyone, it’d ruin my manly reputation.”

“I have one thing I’m still wondering about though.” She said as she brought her bottom lip out in a rather sexy pout. “Why aren’t you kissing me?”

“Your wish is my command.” Xander said cheekily as he did just that.

He didn’t get to enjoy it for long before he was roughly hauled off his girlfriend and dangled in the air looking in the eyes of a rather annoyed Wonder Woman.

“I wish you’d stop doing that Diana!” Cassie ground out as she stood up to properly glare at the cause of the interruption.

“I can’t fly.” Xander told the beautiful Amazon who merely responded by looking at him blankly. “I heard Superboy took an unplanned flight over San Francisco Bay when you pulled him off Cassie so I thought I’d mention it. You know, just in case.”

“You missed dinner.” Diana told Cassie as she dropped Xander unceremoniously to the ground. “You were supposed to meet your mother and I for dinner tonight.”

Cassandra looked stunned for a moment. “I, ah, kinda forgot.”

“I can see that.”

“Diana… well… it’s like…”

“It’s alright.” Diana cut her off. “We’ll do it tomorrow instead. Just don’t forget”

“I won’t.” Cassie promised as Diana began to rise into the air.

Just as she was about to fly away Diana suddenly turned around and added almost like an afterthought. “And bring the boy. I’m sure your mother would like to meet him.”

Cassie smiled as she watched her mentor fly off figuring she got off easy. She was planning on bring Xander around to meet mom soon anyways. The smile was wiped off her face when she turned looked at her boyfriend.

Anger, shock, confusion, awe, these wear some of the emotions Xander had gone through that day. What she saw was none of those. On his face was a look that could only be described as absolute terror.

“Xand, what’s wrong?” She asked worriedly.

Slowly he turned to face her, his eyes wide and his face white as a sheet. “I - I - I have t - to meet your mom!”

Cassie gave her boyfriend an astonished look. “You offered a god snacks and back talked Wonder Woman and it’s my mother that scares you!?”

“Mom’s are scary people.”
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