You're Scared Of What?
“Kevin…it’s…it’s…” I couldn’t manage to push out the words. “Just tell me.” he begged. “I’mscaredaboutgettingmarried.” I said the words quickly. He stood and thought through what I had said. I was terrified that he would break up with me right then and there. I couldn’t really blame him if he did, I mean I had just said that I was scared about getting married to him. I watched him but he didn’t move. After moment of silence he finally spoke to me, “Did you say you were scared about getting married?” he asked. “Yes.” I mumbled.
He stared at me for a moment, choosing his words. “You do realize that we have two years before you are even legal right?” he finally spoke. “Yes.” I mumbled again. “Brooke, why are you so worried?” he asked. “I’m scared.” I put my head down. “About what?” he asked another question. “Being committed. You know that I love you and I’m pretty sure you love me too, but what if we get married and it just doesn’t work.” I sighed miserably.
He walked over to me. “Well firstly you shouldn’t just be pretty sure I love you, you should be positive that I love you and second how could us being together forever not work?” he rubbed my arms. “I don’t know, Kevin.” I turned away from him. I just couldn’t quite explain how I felt. I had all these emotions just flying through my head and I couldn’t think of one way to tell it all to Kevin. I loved Kevin and I what I wanted to say might break his heart. Although I wanted to talk to him, I just couldn’t bear to break his heart.
“Brooke just talk to me.” he whispered. “Kevin…I’m just not sure how I feel. I mean, things are changing all the time.” I shook my head. “I know that things are always changing but I’m sure that my feelings for you aren’t changing.” he said sweetly. “They aren’t now, but what if they do?” I felt tears coming. “They won’t.” he replied, sure of himself. “How can you be so sure!” I cried a little. “I just am! There is no one that I would rather be with for the rest of my life. My feelings for you will not ever change!” his voice was certain.
The words came out almost as a reflex and I regretted them terribly. “What if my feelings about you change.” I said. “What?” his voice was weak. I didn’t say anything, my throat was locked up from what I had just said. “ A-Are y-your feelings changing?” Kevin’s voice quivered. “I don’t know…” I said another regrettable thing. “You don’t know?” he questioned. “No! That’s not what I meant!” I exclaimed. I took in a breath, “What I meant was that I know I love you, but I’ve never really felt as close to a guy as I feel to you…and…it…scares me.” I faced him again.
I felt it begin to sprinkle on me. “It scares you?” he asked. “Yes, it does. I know its stupid, but its new to me.” I explained. “Brooke, as long as I know you love me I don’t care how long it takes for us to get married.” he smiled warmly. “I’m sorry. I do love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I can’t help but be scared.” I admitted. “It’s ok. I’ll be right here for you all the way.” he spoke again. He rubbed his hand across my cheek. “I love you…” he whispered. I smiled at him, “I love you too.” I whispered back.
It thundered. Kevin and I looked in each other’s eyes for a moment and then he kissed me. I wrapped my arms around him and he held me closer. I felt rain begin to pour down on us, but I didn’t care. He lifted me in the air and I wrapped my legs around him. He held me closely as we kissed. I never wanted to be away from him. It finally donned on me that I had a whole entire two years before even thinking about getting married, all I had to do right now was enjoy being with Kevin.
The rain just kept pouring down, but neither of us cared. I clung to him and he held me close. We pulled apart. “It’s raining.” I laughed. He set me down, “Yea it is.” he laughed too. We stood there out in the rain just laughing, simply laughing.
He grabbed my hand and we ran to the hotel to get out of the rain. We stepped in the hotel. “Shh!” the manager told us. “Sorry.” we both apologized. I giggled one last time.
We both got up to the rooms. Out of habit, I walked into his. He instantly pushed his lips onto mine. I wrapped my arms around him. “I hate fighting with you.” he looked at me. “Yea…it wasn’t all that great for me either.” I smiled. “You know that if you need a break or need to talk I’m here right?” he asked. I kissed him softly. “Was that a yes?” he questioned. “I know you’re there for me. I’m sorry about being so upset, I just felt like if I told you…” I trailed off. “Brooke, you can tell me whatever you’re feeling. I would never freak out on you…I love you.” he looked in my eyes. I looked in Kevin’s hazel eyes for a moment, “I love you too.” I smiled at him.
I went to my room to change into pajamas and then came back. I walked in just as he pulled a shirt over his head. He looked over and smiled at me. I smiled back at him. “I think you should go without the shirt.” I smirked. “Brooke.” he rolled his eyes. I laughed, “Just a suggestion.” I kissed his cheek.
I snuggled up next to him under the covers. “You know we’re kind of weird.” he said looking in my eyes. “Weird? Us? No!” I said sarcastically. “What I meant was that most couples don’t just have a fight and then make up, like, and hour later.” he chuckled. “Well we aren’t most couples.” I kissed him softly. “You have a point.” he kissed me back.
Kevin and I just stared in each other’s eyes. I loved that the hotel room’s curtain was open so that the moonlight would shine on his eyes. I finally fell asleep.
I looked out of the window, because I had never heard Kevin and Brooke come in. I looked out and seen them. I tilted my head because they weren’t kissing or hugging or any of the normal things they did…they seemed to be upset at each other? I was confused, but I didn’t want to make whatever they were talking about even more stressful with me going down there.
“What are you looking at?” Joe walked up behind me. “Oh nothing.” I turned around. “Ok.” he shrugged. “You’re pretty.” he grinned at me. “Uh…thanks?” I said. “You’re pretty too.” I laughed. He pouted, “Pretty?” he asked. “Yup, you’re my pretty boy.” I nodded. “You’re mean…” he muttered. I laughed, “Oh Joe!” I rolled my eyes. I was walking away and then he basically pounced on me.
“Joe!” I hit the bed. “You totally disserved this.” he smirked. “Ok, I might have been a little mean, but that doesn’t give you the right to tackle me!” I sighed. He just laughed. “Are you going to get off me?” I asked after a few moments. “Nope. Never.” he grinned. I made a sad face. “Not working.” he said. I just kept making the face. “Oh fine!” he got off me.
I tackled him down. “Oh! Now what!” I made an ‘In Yo Face’ look. He pulled my face to his and kissed me. “That’s what.” he pulled away mid-kiss. He knew that it bothered me. I hated when he pulled away like that, leaving me all in a huff and wanting more. If was beyond annoying when he did that, and of course he only did that when he wanted to annoy me terribly. I glared at him. “Oh you’re mean.” I blamed. “Hey this is all your fault.” he said smirking up at me. I couldn’t argue that. “Yea I know I’m right.” he chuckled.
I was defeated, so I got off of him. “You win.” I sighed. “Ya I did, but you get the prize.” he said. “The prize?” I raised an eyebrow. How could there be a prize? Let alone a prize for the loser of our petty argument. He kissed me passionately. I felt my knees become weak. I was definitely not prepared for this one. I kissed him back. He pulled away slowly, “That was the prize.” he smiled. “Wow…I’m glad I lost.” I giggled. “Yea me too.” he kissed me again.
After a few moments of us kissing I pulled away. “I think we should go to sleep. I mean you have your last concert tomorrow night.” I said. “Ok.” he kissed me softly one last time.
“Goodnight.” I said and walked over to the door. “You can’t leave, you’re my dream catcher. Remember?” he asked. “I think you can go one night. In plus I would prefer that Denise didn’t wake us both up…in the same bed.” I laughed. “Well I’ll just lock the door.” he offered. “So that she can’t get in?” I pointed out. “Come on! Please stay.” he stuck out his bottom lip.
I looked at him for a moment, “Fine.” I gave in. “Yay!” he jumped into bed. I laughed and rolled my eyes.
He held me closely. “I love you.” I spoke. “I love you too.” he brushed his hand across my cheek. “You have the most beautiful hair.” he laughed softly. “That really perfected the moment.” I said sarcastically. He just chuckled.
He fell asleep. I looked at him, he looked so peaceful. I was so happy that we got through that fight. I knew that it had been a couple days since we got back together, but I was still ecstatic inside. I just watched him. He was perfect in every way possible. He was gorgeous, had a great personality, cared about me, liked his family, liked my friends, etc. I could’ve just thought on and on about all the things I loved about him. There was an unlimited amount of things to list. I could’ve honestly spent hours coming up with things. Just for the fun of it, I spent a couple of minutes thinking about some of them. I smiled at him.
Joe mumbled softly, but never woke up. I just assumed he was dreaming about something, it seemed to be a good dream because he smiled. I snuggled a little closer to him and put my head against his chest. I closed my eyes and let my breathing get softer and softer.
Thought went through my mind for what felt like forever. At long last I finally fell asleep, snuggled up to Joe. Though I had felt it many times I couldn’t help but think once again that there was no better place I could ever possibly be.