The beginning of the end.
WARNING: Swearing - lots of it! Please don't eat like this, drink like this or smoke like this. I love you all too much. AHHHHHHHHHHH It's back!
Chapter One: Happily Ever After
Monday, January 27th
89kg (I blame Frank ... whilst he may be able to eat whatever he wants and never gain any weight, I can not do the same!), 8 beers (all for the sake of cooking), 15 cigarettes (I know ... good right. After seeing burnt dinner I figure insides could look the same - better cut back).
7:15 a.m. Here I am, just lying in bed with my boyfriend of approximately 27 days sleeping peacefully next to me.
Okay, that's kind of a lie.
Not the amount of days that we have been going out, that's exact, I counted ... but when I said that he was sleeping peacefully, THAT was the lie.
Currently Frank is all sprawled out over more then half the bed and for the past hour and a half he seems to be locked in one of his, what I like to call, puppy dreams.
This usually involves a whole lot of whining and small little outbursts as he twitches and wriggles around. If I'm really lucky, he'll even kick or punch out blindly every so often. Fun ... right?
That's probably why I currently find myself cowering over in my tiny area of the bed, praying to anyone who will listen that whatever Frank's dreaming about will eventually end.
Over the past 27 days I have been accidentally kicked in the balls about 78 times ... DO THE FUCKING MATH! That can't be healthy.
Still, it is nice to have someone, even if that someone likes to so innocently beat you up, and it's certainly nice to have a male someone rather then a female someone. Who ever would have guessed that going out with a fellow guy would be so much fucking better!
I mean, there's no nagging and there's certainly no phone call every five minutes asking me where I am and who I'm there with. Oh and I can smoke all fucking day long too because I know that it will only bring me closer to Frank as he likes to smoke as well.
He loves coffee and he loves food. None of this, "but coffee gives me cellulite," or, "but food will make me fat," business.
Why did I never think of going out with a fellow male before?
7:30 a.m. Frank still hasn't woken up and he's slowly taking up more and more of the bed...
...He has a hold of my arm ... what if he like bites it or something during his little puppy escapades?
Never realised how dangerous Frank could be. He looks so quite and peaceful and, as lame as it is to say, so cute as he's just lying there snoring loudly and drooling all over himself and -
AHHHHHH! He just twitched again...
Easy Gerard, it's alright. I think he's finally settled down ... where was I? Oh yeah...
- really, what's the point of a relationship if you don't find yourself fearing for your life every time you go to bed at night?
Frank keeps me on my toes.
I wouldn't change it for the world.
7:45 a.m. Maybe I will just get up and make us some coffee...
7:50 a.m. Or maybe not. Bad move ... very bad move. As I tried to wriggle my arm free of Frank's vice like grip he muttered something about putting the bunny back in the box and then I swear to god he growled at me.
Maybe if I subtly slip away and then quick as lightening replace my arm with my pillow, he'll never even notice I'm gone.
7:55 a.m. AHHHHHH! I knew it! The son of a bitch bit me!
I was doing so well to!
I finally had my arm free and replaced with my pillow. Frank moaned for a second of two then simply buried his head into the soft material and started snoring again. Then, just as I was getting ready to simply roll out of bed, he grabbed my leg muttered something about a sandwich and chomped down.
It hurts so bad ... but promised myself I wouldn't cry ... after all, he does look so peaceful when he sleeps.
8:10 a.m. Frank's practically on top of me now ... and sure, some people would find it quite wonderful that their boyfriend or girlfriend was cuddled up to them so lovingly, but not me ... I can see his teeth as he snores, he could simply lash out at me any second now ... what do I do?
8:15 a.m. Mikey just came in. He took one look at me curled up at the very edge of the bed, rocking backwards and forwards as I sucked on my thumb and watched Frank, who was still all over me, fearfully before he pissed himself laughing.
Frank immediately sprung to life, sitting upright as he took in his surroundings.
"Wasgoingonwhogotshot?" Frank asked, rubbing at his eye with one hand whilst the other reached for the ceiling as he stretched his back.
Mikey just continued to laugh hysterically as he pointed at the quivering mess that was me. And yes, I was still sucking my thumb - it helps! I was scared!
"Gee? You alright?" Frank questioned, looking quite concerned when I jumped away from his touch.
"Yup, sure, never better ..." I lied, my voice so high pitched I thought my window was going to shatter. I tried to force a smile. "How'd you sleep Frankie?"
Mikey just laughed even harder as he fell to his knees and started rolling around on the floor.
Frank just looked so innocently confused.
10 a.m. After this mornings trauma I decided to calm my nerves by heading off to my favourite place in the whole world, the local Starbucks, and doing my favourite thing in the whole world ... drawing.
As much as I really enjoy hanging out with Frank, drawing seems to be the one thing I can do that's truly my thang ... Oh, and I haven't told Frank that I spend most of my free time just making up silly little comic book characters in my head.
I mean, the guy is this tough and talented rock star ... me? I'm still just a dorky dork who does ... well, dorky things.
Besides, we don't have to tell each other everything; I doubt he'd really want to know about my stupid little hobby anyway.
11 a.m. God, how does Mikey always manage to find me?
Sure, I'm here pretty much everyday and well, I did actually tell him that I was heading here this morning, but fuck - can't he just leave me alone for a few hours?
"Mikey, what the hell are you doing? Why you always got to follow me everywhere?" I whined, rolling my eyes as he pretended to look surprised that I was there
"Gee? What are you doing here?" Mikey asked, looking seriously confused as he glanced at his watch.
"What? Don't be dumb Mikey, I fucking told you I was coming here."
"Yeah I know but -"
"Don't tell Frank I come here to draw," I quickly interrupted him, throwing myself protectively over my sketch book.
Mikey just continued to glance at his watch and then back at me in confusion. But apparently what I had just said interested him more that the stupid time because his facial expression suddenly changed to that of surprise.
"You mean you don't tell Frank that the reason you come here for coffee all the time is because you like to draw here? Why?" Mikey asked, taking a seat at MY fucking table.
I quickly moved my sketchbook away and closed it, watching him closely.
"Because I don't want him to know that I spend pretty much all of my free time drawing. He'll think I'm lame!"
Seriously, I hated admitting that to Mikey, but if I whined and complained enough he might just take pity on me and keep my secret a secret - yup!
"Pretty sure he already knows your lame Gee. But this is your hobby ... this is kind of what you live and breath ... shouldn't your boyfriend of all people know that?" Mikey continued to question looking seriously confused now; it was almost as though nothing in the world made any sense to him anymore.
Over dramatic moron.
"No, he doesn’t have to know everything! Anyway why'd you follow me here, you never answered me before," I decided on saying, quickly changing the subject.
Was I supposed to tell Frank that I wasn't just a geeky art nerd at college but outside as well? Surely he didn't have to know all that ... right?
Man, no wonder I have shit luck in relationships.
"I didn't follow you here, I just figured you'd be gone by now," Mikey explained, shrugging his shoulders as he continued to stare at me with that dumbfounded look on his face.
"Gone? Why the hell would I be gone? I've only been here for an hour!" I argued, glancing at my watch. God he was annoying.
"Exactly ... don't you have work today?"
"FUCK!" I shouted, grabbing all of my shit and cursing so loudly that a baby at a nearby table began to cry.
Honestly, who brings an infant to a coffee shop?
"Man Gee, you're such a retard!" Mikey stated, a smug smile plastered on his face as I tripped over my own feet as I tried to stand up.
"Shut up Mikey! Shit! I can't believe I'm late again."
"I'll call ahead for you - tell them you got caught in traffic," Mikey offered helpfully as he pulled out his phone.
I just muttered my thanks and bolted out the door.
5 p.m. Work is something I just can't seem to get used to. I dunno, to me it just seems like this total waste of time. Sure, I'm earning money now ... but honestly; I just blow it all on cigarettes and booze.
Seriously, what's the point of it all?
Still, as far as jobs go, this one isn't so bad. Believe it or not, it was thanks to Mikey I even got the stupid thing. After New Year he got a job at the closest 'Barnes and Noble', I applied first, but because he's younger and they can pay him less he immediately got the job.
And believe me when I say that he rubbed my fucking face in it.
So naturally, I just fed him some speech about how it was alright; I'd just be a jobless drug addicted alcoholic who lived on the streets, so long as my little brother had a job I would die of withdrawal seizures with a smile on my face.
The very next day I got a call from the 'Barnes and Noble' he worked at. I was being offered a job interview because apparently someone had put in a good word for me.
"Are you really Mikey's brother?" the manager of the store had asked as he looked me up and down.
"Sure am," I stated proudly. And the next day I had the job.
I guess I kind of owe Mikey, but you get that. He should just be happy he's saving me from a life on the streets as a drug addict and male prostitute. Because with my good looks I would definitely have to sell myself. I would make a fortune!
On my very first day this mean looking guy named Jacob who was about three times wider then me and twice as tall cornered me in the storage room. I remember it clearly because it was right between the box of ‘Harry Potter’ books and the ‘Smashing Pumpkins’ CD's.
"Listen here pretty boy. Everyone already knows that you only got the job because the manager liked the way your ass looked in those tight black jeans. You better watch yourself, good looks wont stop me from smashing your pretty face in if I find out that you're trying to step up into my supervisor position."
From that day on I not only avoided Jacob but the perverted store manager as well.
Oh well, turns out I didn't even need Mikey's help! Sure, he may have got me the interview, but it was my sexy rear end that sealed the deal.
I'm actually starting to wonder just how many gay men there are in the world. Do I have a permanent sticker on my forehead now? Will they all know I'm gay?
I suddenly find myself extremely glad that I have Frank. But ... what if he leaves me? I don't want to have to try and find another boyfriend, getting my first was hard enough!
"Hey Gerard, home time in an hour," Nathan, my fellow shelf-stacking work buddy, recently informed me.
"I know, about fucking time ... I'm exhausted."
Okay, so all I had really done since I got there was apologize for being late (like usual), send one of the youngest juniors, who didn't know any better, off to get me coffee (like usual) and then ask Nathan if he could carry most of the boxes of books and CD's out for me today as my back was sore (like usual).
I liked Nathan though, he never complained when I made him do my dirty work.
"Any plans for tonight?" Nathan asked as he made the adjustments to the 'top 30 singles' section.
I probably should have said I was hanging out with Frank, my boyfriend, but I hadn't exactly told anyone from work that I was dating someone; especially not a guy.
"Dunno, probably just, hanging with my bro," I said, yawning loudly and ignoring the lost expression on a nearby customers face. I couldn't be bothered helping.
"Well, if you get bored, you can always come round to my place. I just got all the 'Saw' movies on DVD ... plus, I'm a pretty good cook ... I can cook for you," Nathan explained and I swear to god he blushed.
It was then that I began to realise just what Nathan was asking me ... and it was then that I began to inspect all of my fellow work mates with a very critical eye.
How many of them were fucking gay?
"Oh ... w-well that sounds good - but uh - my brother kind of gets lonely and well ... tonight’s kind of our night. I don't want to disappoint the little guy - he's very emotional," I said, putting on the most serious face I could muster.
"Y-yeah sure ... I understand," Nathan said, rubbing at the back of his now bright red neck, it matched his face quite well. Fuck, I felt so bad. "Some other time then."
With that I told him I had tones of work to do and quickly disappeared to help the rather lost looking customer. Which was saying something about how much I wanted to get away from him because I fucking hated dealing with customers.
Thank god there is only one hour left to go!
6:45 p.m. Just got home from work ... am exhausted and a little later then expected. I had just been on my way out the door when the store manager – Brad, (I know ... cheesy, right?) 'accidentally' bumped into me.
"Oh sorry Gerard ... my mistake, didn't see you there. How are you settling in?" Brad asked, reaching out a hand to gently caress my shoulder.
"Yeah ... not to bad ... just on my way home -" TO MY BOYFRIEND! Fucking say it!
"You are? Live alone do you?" With those words, he fucking winked at me!
"Er - parents ... but they're away for a few weeks."
GERARD YOU MORON! WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT?
"Really? How delightful! You should have a party, I always used to have parties when my parents went away," Brad continued, his hand not leaving my shoulder.
I shuddered ... how old exactly was this guy? I decided I had better slip in the fact that I was with somebody - if anything just to get him to stop touching my shoulder!
"Cool as ... well, I had better get going ... my boyfriend is probably waiting for me," I said, stressing the word.
It was then that I noticed my mistake.
"Boyfriend? So you ARE gay? Oh how delightful," Brad announced, clapping his hands together before apparently composing himself enough to give me another wink.
I just gave a nervous laugh as I slowly backed away.
I really liked my job! Would I get fired if I told my manager I thought he was creepy?
Now you can understand why I'm so exhausted. It's been a hard day ... but Frank's coming over, that makes me much happier.
Perhaps I should shower, I look like shit!
7:00 p.m. Maybe showering wasn't such a good idea. I'm clean!
No, you don't understand. Clean isn't me! I'm a dirty, smelly person by nature. Frank will notice I showered just for him!
Perhaps I'm too clean ... maybe if I go outside and roll around in the dirt...
7:10 p.m. God, there's dirt in my fucking hair! And I think I may have rolled around in cat pee - this shirt smells kind of funky...
Ah! Stop obsessing Gerard. Breathe - take a deep breath and calm the fuck down...
Now ... I'm going to make Frank dinner - that way I will stop obsessing over how clean is too clean...
Wait? Is cooking too gay? I mean, I don't want to scare him off...
I'll cook steak! Steak is manly ... I can get away with that.
8:00 p.m. Hmmmm! I'm sure Frank said he'd be here before 8 p.m. Where is he?
8:10 p.m. OH FUCK! The steaks! I forgot about them!
8:15 p.m. Man, I seriously hope that Frank likes his steaks well done. They're fucking charcoal!
Still, what can you expect? I haven't cooked since I started going out with Amy and desperately wanted to impress her ... for some unknown reason. Even then the only thing I made was two minute noodles with a bit of chopped up parsley on top for decoration.
What? I tried!
What are you supposed to eat with steaks though? Salad? Vegetables? Fruit? ... Pop tarts?
I know ... Beer!
8:30 p.m. Frank finally got home. He just walked into the house looking quite nice in his ripped jeans and baggy black jumper...
Er - anyway ... where was I? Oh yeah. He just stuck his nose in the air and smiled.
"Gee ... did you cook for me?" he asked, with a huge smile on his face when he saw me sitting on the lounge with one beer for myself and one for him all ready to go.
I felt fucking embarrassed, okay! I mean, I've never cooked for anyone before (the two minute noodles don't count!)
"Awwwwwwwwww Gee, that's so cool," Frank said, still smiling at me.
My stomach flipped - fuck, I was still blushing.
Clearly following his nose, Frank walked straight over to the frying pan that contained the steaks. I watched him closely as he lifted the lid - but before he could actually even see what the hell was in there, I finally cracked. I had to explain!
"I-it's not that great ... just steak. A-and I burnt it ... like a lot. Sorry ... I tried."
Frank went quiet for a few moments as he saw the black mess in the frying pan that I was claiming to actually be food. He had an unreadable expression as he just stared at it and played with his lip ring like he usually did if he was nervous about something.
I couldn't be sure, but for a moment there I could have sworn that there was something he was trying to tell me ... but he merely put the lid down and started laughing.
"Oh man ... well, I'm sure it's - er - great ... b-but -" Frank ran a hand through his hair as he seemed to struggle to find the right words to say.
I couldn't stand it anymore, it was shit! I cooked and it was shit! If I cut in first, I could still save myself.
"You know what Frank ... let's just order pizza."
Frank played with his lip ring again as though he was still slightly nervous about something. Had I offended him with my cooking? Maybe he was realising how much of a shit boyfriend I was!
"B-but you cooked ..." Frank said almost as though he was scared to let me down after the effort I had gone to. Regardless, I noticed him side-glancing at the steak looking slightly terrified of it.
My cooking scared him!
"Seriously Frank, it's no biggie ... I'd prefer pizza anyway, they'll even drop it straight to the door!"
OF COURSE THEY'LL FUCKING DROP IT STRAIGHT TO THE DOOR!
God I'm a moron! I thought relationships were supposed to get easier when you made it past the initial "I like you, maybe we should date", stage.
Once again, I was wrong.
"Sounds good. What do you want? I'll call," he said, turning away from the frying pan extremely quickly.
Apparently I did the right thing with suggesting we order pizza because Frank seemed back to his normal cheery self after the call was made.
"Oh, I almost forgot. I got all of the Alien movies out ... hope you like them, thought we could have sort of like a marathon," Frank stated, waving the DVD's around happily.
He jumped on the lounge looking as cheerful as he did when he had first walked in the door. I was even lucky enough to get to make out with him for a good fifteen minutes before there was a knock on the door.
"Pizza!" Frank shouted, sitting up suddenly.
Unfortunately I was just getting into the kiss and I had been right on top of him when he had decided to sit up. Naturally that meant that I was caught off guard and thrown straight to the floor.
"Shit Gee ... sorry man," Frank said, looking down at me apologetically.
"S'okay - I'll get the door shall I."
So, I got up and rubbed at my saw ass as I headed for the door. But when I flung it open to greet the delivery man, the pizzas were shoved into my arm by a smiling Mikey.
"Mikey? Since when do you work at the pizza shop?"
"What? Gee you dick head, I just ran into the pizza man and thought I'd save him the trip up the drive way," Mikey explained, looking at me as though I was retarded - bastard. "By the way you owe me twenty bucks."
"Um ... what are you doing here Mikes? I thought you were staying at Alicia's tonight," I whined, clearly not impressed that he was going to spoil Frank and my night.
"Well Alicia's parents were there and I wasn't really in the mood for parents ... so I decided to come back here because there are no parents here. Get it? Good ... wasn't interrupting anything was I?"
Mikey glanced at Frank, then back to me and my rather disheveled hair. A huge smile spread across his face.
"Oh I see ... so I DID interrupt something?" Mikey said with a rather over exaggerated wink.
"Oh shut up Mikey! You can stay ... but I'm only giving you ten bucks for the pizza," I reasoned with him. After all, I knew he was going to eat most of it.
8:45 p.m. I'm begging to feel slightly bad that great night with Frank was ruined.
Sure, I suppose this pizza is about a billion times better then burnt steak, but I can't help remembering just how disappointed Frank looked when he saw what was in the frying pan.
I'm still so paranoid that I did something horribly wrong! Do I ask him? What if the mere mention of the offending steak upsets him even more?
I thought my offering of pizza would help, but he even refused some of the pepperoni pizza that I waved around in front of him. I mean, I like cheese just as much as the next person but it's kind of boring.
What did I do wrong?
"Gee ... your phones ringing," Frank said, pointing at my vibrating pocket as he shoved another piece of cheese pizza into his mouth.
9:00 p.m. You'll never guess who that was on the phone! It was Justin from the Starbucks closest to my work. We don't really talk all that much, only when I need a coffee ... which I suppose is before my shift, on my lunch break and after my shift ... but it's honestly not that much.
I don't even know how he got my number, but at first I didn't really mind. He's a pretty cool dude.
"Hey Gee, it's Justin from Starbucks."
"Oh hey man, what's up?" I asked innocently, taking a bite of my slice of pepperoni pizza.
"Just calling to see if it was true," Justin stated rather bluntly.
"See if what was true?"
"That you're gay? Sorry to be so forward, but Brad - you know your manager - well he came and told me and well, I was just checking because Sam - you know the guy that usually makes your coffee - yeah well he's really into you ... don't tell him I told you though."
I just sat there staring at the pizza in my hand wondering if it was poisoned. I mean, had I just heard him right? Because, what the fuck?
"W-well ... its - um, yeah it's true ... but -"
"Awesome! Just wait till I tell him, man he's going to be so stocked. Anyway Gerard, better head off, sorry to interrupt your night. See ya tomorrow man," Justin said, totally interrupting me just as I was about to explain about Frank.
The phone went dead and all I could do was pull the phone away from my ear and stare at it as though it was about to explode.
"Who was that?" Frank asked, clearly noticing my shocked expression.
"Er - just my manager ... I was late again today, wanted to make sure I had the right time for tomorrow," I lied - but only because I didn't know what else to say.
9:15 p.m. Oh my god! Just got off the phone with Stacey, the girl I usually talk to when I'm working on the register at work.
"Gerard! Is it true? Are you really gay?"
Fuck! News traveled fast.
"Well, for now yeah, but who exactly told -"
"You're joking right? Oh man that sucks so bad! You knew I totally had a crush on you right? Shit ... well, if you ever want to spice up your relationship, I'm so up for it, just say the word," she continued, straight through what I had been trying to say.
"Oh - um, well thanks but I'm actually in a -"
"Anyways Gerard, got to go. I'm still at work, just about to close. Darn, wait till I tell Nancy from the record shop opposite us ... she's going to be so crushed. See ya tomorrow."
With that, the phone went dead.
Once again I was just left staring at it, still wondering what the hell had just happened.
"You're popular tonight," Mikey said, staring at me suspiciously.
I just nodded, hoping that Frank didn't keep asking me who was calling. There was only so long I could use the 'confirming my shift time' excuse.
9:30 p.m. Pizza was so good ... movie is even better.
I never thought I'd say this, but I actually enjoy having someone to snuggle into whilst watching movies.
Yes I know! But since I started dating Frank I have become very lame ... Deal with it!
"God Gee ... turn it off!" Mikey shouted when once again my pocket started to vibrate.
9:50 p.m. You'll never believe who that was!
"Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Fuck man, it's been forever! What you doing tomorrow?"
It was Bert! Oh, and as usual, I could distinctly hear Quinn’s stoned laughter in the background.
"Oh hey man ... what's happening?" I asked, glancing nervously at Frank as I pulled away from his chest.
My instincts were telling me that it probably wasn't a good idea for Frank to overhear anything that Bert had to say.
"What do you mean what's happening? Same thing as fucking always dude, getting wasted. But where the hell have you been? I miss partying with you! What are you doing tomorrow?" he asked again, slurring half his words.
"Um ... n-not much. But ... can I call you back later? I'm just a little busy," I said, as Mikey glared at me suspiciously.
Frank's eyes were still glued to the TV but I had a sneaking suspicion he could hear every word that was being practically shouted into my ear.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh too busy for your old friends hey ... who you got there? Chick or dude? Come on man you can tell me."
"Chick or dude? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" came Quinn's faint voice from the background of wherever the hell Bert was.
I laughed nervously as Mikey glared at me.
"Got to go ... call you back in an hour!"
Bert shouted something at me that sounded strangely like "sheer and sorrow", before I hurriedly said goodbye and hung up the phone.
The second my phone was back in my pocket Frank turned to me and licked his lips ... I could tell he was about to ask who it was that called, but it must have been my lucky day because right before he could open his mouth, HIS phone started to ring ...
"God ... can't you two turn off your fucking phones?" Mikey shouted, throwing a pizza crust at my head.
I was just about to yell at him and ask why he threw it at my head when it was Frank that was on the phone but at that moment I felt an elbow dig into my ribs and I turned to see Frank sticking his phone out towards me.
"It's your mum ... said she couldn't reach you because it was engaged and that Mikey wasn't picking up his phone and that the home phone seems to be disconnected," Frank said, looking slightly confused.
"Well I happen to turn my phone off after eight and me and Gerard always take the home phone off the hook when mum and dad go away. Their friends are kind of weird and I hate telemarketers," Mikey explained to Frank with a simple shrug of his shoulders.
I took the phone and reluctantly placed it to my ear.
"Mum? How's it going?" I asked, hoping this wasn't going to be a long call.
"Gerard! Oh thank god, I thought something had happened. I'm so lucky that Frank always seems to be there, good thing that boy picks up his phone. How's my baby going?" she asked, referring to Mikey.
I just rolled my eyes. It was going to be a long conversation.
11:00 p.m. After the call from Mum we all decided to turn our phones off. Not long after that we decided that it was time for bed. It had been a long day after all.
Mikey headed for his room whilst Frank and I headed to mine. Usual routine lately.
We changed into our pajamas, well I did anyway, Frank just sleeps in his boxers, and then we climbed into bed and there was immediate silence.
"Er, Frank - sorry our night was kind of ruined," I said, hoping that it was what he wanted to hear. I couldn't stand the thought of him being mad at me for the over cooked steak and the constant phone calls.
To my great surprise Frank just laughed as he shuffled closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Gee ... it was kind of perfect," Frank said, nestling his head into the crook of my neck.
I felt a stupid smile spread across my face as his soft hair tickled that special spot just behind my ear. With that, Frank just leant back and kissed the bottom of my jaw.
Even though I knew that I was in for another night of unintentional abuse, I couldn't be happier.
God, I make myself sick. I'm turning into a fucking ferry...
...but he does look so peaceful when he sleeps.
AN: I so totally did not want to bring this back so soon. But I kind of promised some people over at Live Journal a surprise and well, this was it. I hope you like. Hope it doesn't disapoint and yeah. LOVE YOU ALL! It's BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!