One shot, sorta based round the song by the used. Its a gerbert, some implied sex and drug use. Just a random crazy thing I wrote :] Read if you wanna.
And dont do drugs, stay in school yadda yadda yadda.
Love :] xox
When the shirt came off it was all in time. When an m-m-m-minute turned into a mile... And I broke that grin, and I cut it out. And you got all turned on by the taste of your own sin.
When you mentioned blue, all I thought was colour.
When you mentioned drugs, all I thought was sober.
When your pants came off, and I turned you over and you mentioned blue...
In my intoxicated state there is nothing more arousing than the way his body arches away from the matress as he whimpers deep in the back of his throat. The way he closes his eyes and gasps, his body writhing against my touch, how easy it is to please him when the drugs have already got us high. Somewhere deep inside I'm still depressed enough to sit and sob, but its been pushed away by the booze and the pills and the whole madness of this situation. I'm smirking to myself because when your too high and drunk to know anything real, I'm God. And I can make you do anything, make myself do anything. And the lights are almost as blinding as the darkness and your body is burning up a temperature and the clothes left without my notice. I didnt even think about it when my shirt was ripped from me, I didnt realise it would lead to my jeans and my boxers. I didnt think about it when I pulled him free of his outfit. That pale skin, and glazed hazel eyes always keep me coming back for more, but only when I'm too high to notice...
Keep the mask aligned. Get it up in time. Theres a space between valleys and try and catch a vibe. Make a circle square, a rectangle curve. Use a smile as a noun and I think like a verb.
Run quick switch sides.
Spill the filled up canister.
And the room is shaking, Now your changing places, and I switched my pace and my breathing races
When you mention blue...
He's hair drips with sweat as he rolls us over so that he is on top, we're both panting and I'm trying to kiss him some more. I want to taste him all night. The pleasure is building so much as he forces his way into me, and the pain is better than the pleasure. Because I hate myself but I dont even know it. Not when I've been drowning in the booze, and I cant even remember a single pill he passed me. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we killing ourselves from the inside out? All the drugs all the phychotic thinking, all the fucking. Oh god but he feels so good and I love letting go like this, I dont want to control myself anymore and his moans are enough to make me tear out my insides from delight. I never truly appreciate a mans touch until I'm out of my head. And he knows I dont love him, and I know he doesnt love me. And its not just lust its hatred for no one but ourselves. I claw at his back as he pounds into me and he bites the side of my neck his hair framing our faces as I buck my hips to match his. I love the sound of our breathing as it tears out of our throat, trying to get enough oxygen into our lungs as our hearts race, and all the grunts and the groans, the little sentences that could only mean something when your as high as we are. So high the room is spinning.
And I know its killing us both and I dont want him to kill himself like this, but I dont want to kill myself alone. So just take another handful of pills and push him to the bed and everything goes at lightspeed. In the morning we wont remember a thing.
Kill...smile...cut it out for me this time... smile... havent seen him smile in a while.
Kill... smile... cut it out for me this time... this is not a smile... havent seen him smile in a while....
Get down... stay awake... smile
His poison is now his cigarettes. And his pain can be cured. And I tell him I hate him and I see the pain in his eyes that it causes but I cant help myself. The drugs have left his life and they wont come back, and I know that. This tour was crazy, and I learnt how much I truly need to get help. But all the nights together drinking and getting high and fucking, it was horrible and depressing but I loved every second of it...
But only when I was high.
And now he's sober and I'm sober and for some reason, I just cant figure out why - I sneer at him and I'm horrible to him, but I love him.
But only when he's not around to know it.