Wufei didn't like the games, but they helped to keep his mind busy.
Warnings: Mentions of sexual practices and prostitution. All in the line of work for a good assassination, right?
Notes: And my fascination with bouncing these two off of each other continues. I think it's safe to say my version of Wufei is very different from the one most often portrayed in fandom.
To his utter horror and occasional humiliation, Wufei found that he was pretty good at parlor games.
"Third floor, second window. Stain of unknown fluid just above the shoulder of the guy barking like a dog."
The fact that he played them at all could be blamed entirely on missions like this.
"Fourth floor. Bluish-red stain just past the water works orgy?"
"No, it's not a stain."
If he didn't have something to keep his mind off of the depravity going on before him, he would have gone mad hours ago.
"Huh. You sure it's nothing to do with the pregnant chick on the first floor?"
"I already said it had nothing to do with her," Wufei narrowed his eyes watching the shifting scene through the scope. "Wait, it's gone now."
"Dammit," Duo's sigh crackled over the radio. "What was it anyway?"
"The waterfall of sweat rolling off that obese Major," Wufei started his scan again from the top of the bordello. Business was booming as always when soldiers were given pay and leave to do as they pleased. Still no sign of the target though.
"Oh, come on! All he got was a quick hand job."
"So? You didn't guess before my subject left. Another point for me," Five floors with six rooms on each, and every single window open for the whole colony to see into. It was ridiculous how easy it was for the man who ran it to 'lose' the curtains for a few days. Wufei was always amazed at what a little hard cash could buy in the L-2 clusters. "Your turn."
"Heh, fine. I spy with my little eye..." Duo sang, drawing the last word out, "something that begins with a P!"
Putting the obvious aside --there was no way even Duo would go for something that crude. Hopefully-- there were a lot of things. The poorly made-up face of the prostitute beckoning soldiers in the front door. The drunk and/or high man in the alley relieving himself on a mound of trash. It could even be the stains in the third floor window that looked suspiciously like a pony.
It could be anything, but Wufei had learned that the trick to this particular game was in knowing your opponent. Knowing the people or objects they would notice and --especially in Duo's case-- knowing the things that they would want to hear Wufei say.
With that taken into account it really wasn't hard for Wufei to spot Duo's subject after a second scan.
"The poorly made gaff the catamite on the corner is wearing," Wufei finally said.
Duo snorted and the line went static, but practice allowed Wufei to clearly make out the sounds of him trying his best to muffle his hysterical laughter.
"-sus!" Duo finally gasped, mirth clear as any grin he ever wore. "That wasn't exactly what I was going for but I'll give it to you just for saying that! You trying to kill me or what?"
"No," Wufei watched as a young soldier stumbled up to said subject. They were both too far away to make out any sound but the soldier's gestures were very informative. "I still don't see why you find the word catamite to be so hilarious, 02."
"Because nobody but you'd use a fancy sounding word for a whore," Duo laughed again, low enough not to make the line go out. "Man, that guy's going to get one hell of a surprise later."
"Or sooner," Wufei replied as the soldier pushed a few bills into an expectant hand, his own already wandering into dangerous areas. "He doesn't look drunk enough to not notice."
"You'd think that," Duo sounded sly and entirely too knowing, "but I know that /cat-a-might/. He's got some moves that'll make a guy reconsider things."
"There are many things that I do not want to know, 02," Wufei said after a minute of slack jawed silence, "and I can't even begin to guess how many other things that fact beat."
Duo snickered, "Jesus! Not like that you fucking perv! He's got a rep on the street for making his customers like what he does, and then robbing them blind if they're Oz."
"Oh," Wufei began another scan, grateful to lose the current subject. There were a few more customers --John's, Duo had mocked him earlier about that-- but again not the target. "What were you originally using as a subject?"
"Eh," Duo sounded bored, "it was him, but I was going more for the fact he had a dick than a badly stuffed, uh, thing. Whatever you called it. Anyway, it's your turn."
"And my point. Again," Wufei smirked at the mutter that got and ran through the options. A pitiful looking pompom swinging from a bed post, a fat cat curled up and sleeping, or the glazed look of stupid lust each and every John wore. No, that one would be too easy. "Something that begins with-"
Movement caught his attention. A group of fresh looking soldiers, not wearing their best uniforms but definitely looking a cut above the rest. And at the center-
Wufei smiled grimly, finger slipping into the trigger well as he placed the crosshairs on the target. "-something that begins with T."
This laugh cut through the line cold and clear. Shinigami as brutal as ever answered immediately, "The target. Point for me."
And two bullets for the target. Wufei collapsed the stock of his rifle and pocketed the still hot casing before running to the roof access. He slid down the rickety ladder, boots and gloves protecting his skin while sending a rain of rust into the alley below as the alarmed shouts began.
"Game over then," Duo's voice cut across the sound of Wufei's boots thumping to the ground, cheerful and only the slightest bit breathless. He was much closer to the scene. Of course he'd have to run. "Your win, but I'll get you next time."
"You can try," Wufei smirked before switching the radio off. The rifle fit under his coat easily without leaving much of a tell-tale bulge and he casually wandered into the street. He ignored the commotion a few meters away and let the colony swallow him up.