"I asked myself that same question. But then again, I knew that you come in here everymorning to read on phsycology."
"Yes. Yes I do." I huged her. "How have you been?"
"I've been ok. What about yourself?"
"I've been alright. Not the best. But not the worst."
"For once..." I got distracted. I usually don't obsess over guys. But this one was so much like me it was improbable. I had it on the tip of my tounge to say hi, but couldn't. But Jackie being the DumbAss that she is, called him over. "Hey Matt!" As she waved. He was with his friend Billy, who of witch, Jackie had a crush on. My heart started to race. "Hey guys what's up." I could only manage to speak in a soft tone. "H ... Hey." Stumbling over my words. "Hey Billy." But of course Jackie had confidence. Something I was always low on. "Hey Anna .. " He smiled. He was happy to see me? That's interesting. Jackie dragged Bill over to a corner. So Matt was stuck talking to me. I just stood there. " So .... anything new?"
" Well ... no .. same drama bullshit like always."
"I understand. I go through the same thing." A connection was made. But not a big one.
"Really? .. That's interesting."
"Well yes. You see, I never would have guessed that you also had the same difficulties."
"Well, you don't show it."
"Neither do you."
"Touche." I smiled. For once. I guess he was scocially akward. He started shaking.
"Are you OK?"
"Yea it happens alot."
"Well we are going to have to get you out of that habbit." He smiled again. Such a reluctent smile. Bill came over and dragged Matt away. "I guess i'll talk to you later!" He said as they dissapeard. Jackie came over to me all smiley and happy. "Let me guess, Bill is dateing you. "
" Now if only we could get you and Matt to go out." She smiled dviously.
"Like that is ever going to happen. He prolly hates me like the rest of this dam school." I walked away to french class. The rest of the day was normal for the most part. I was silent. I really don't like people. But something .. or should I say someone was popping into my head ocasionally. It was very random at the moment. But then I saw him in my lunch period. He walked up to my table and sat across from me. " What are you doing here?" I said amused.
"I didn't feel like going to math. So I figured i'd find a friend to hang out with." I blushed. Yes. I may have a small crush. Not because he's cute, but because he doesn't give a shit about what people think about him and he takes the world head on. Just like me. "I wasn't aware that we were friends." I sound like a jackass. "Well then, let's become friends." We sat there and talked for the whole lunch period. He asked me to skip next period with him. How could I refuse? It was impossible. We were into 7th period. The only class we had left was study hall. So we just left. He could drive. I couldn't. I was 16. He was 18. But age doesn't matter in my case. We wen't to the movies. Twilight. It was amusing. But I couldn't get Matt out of my head. So I didn't really pay attention to the movie at all. After the movie, he had a call on his cell phone. " Yea. Oh hey babey. No I'm just getting home. Yea.... OK love you. Bye." I looked at him. "Take me home." He was confused. " O .. OK..." The ride was silent. And it was a 45 minuet ride to my house. It was horrible. As he pulled into the driveway, I unbuckled the seatbelt as fast as I could, and practically jumped out of the car. I slammed the door shut. He sat in the driveway for a minuet and then he left. I stood in my driveway watching his car. Then it dissapeared. I ran inside. I threw my stuff in my room and was in the bathroom. I grabbed the razor. My parents weren't home. And this wasn't the first time I had done this. So I was use to it. I lifted my watch off my wrist and dragged the blad across. It felt soo good. It was undeniable. I sat there and watched the blood drip. Off my hand. Onto the floor. I grabbed my wrist rag and wiped it up. I put my watch back on and laid in bed. ' He doen't like you. Look at you. You're pathetic.' I cried myself to sleep that night.