Hermione's Revelation leads to betrayal, and a new home for three friends!
(#) lancelot47 2009-02-01 03:15:03 PMHello dennisud,
I agree it is a pain to post here.:)
I am afraid I agree with Tenshishouten you need someone to beta.
I'm not too clear on what happened with Hermione/Ron. Hope it got no farther than kissing/hugging.
And what is this prank you speak of?
I'll tune in for next chapter
Author's responseHave a beta for chapter 4 which is up!
Thanks for the review!
- Good story so far and I'm looking forward to more. Ron seems to have messed up most spectacularly with Hermione and I suspect that's going to cement a H/L/Hr relationship quicker than would normally be the case. I suspect Ron is not going to find any friends among this trio for a fair while since he's managed to do plenty to tick off each of them.
(#) bgoldnyxnet 2010-07-24 11:32:47 AMI won't give this a -1 Illiterate, but really the spelling and grammar are painful. There are misspellings that would be found if you simply pasted the text into Word with spell checking turned on. Also incomplete sentences, which again would be found with Grammar checking.
You also need to pay attention to continuity. In chapter 3 the letter from Gringotts refers to "Severus Octavian Snape", while in Chapter 4 he calls himself "Severus Tobias Snape".
The plot is interesting enough to keep me reading though.