[Adult language warning.] Gerard and Frank miss each other and never moved on. [Frerard, and ignore the title, because it's quite a happy story.]
I'm sorry. Truly, hugely, gargantuanly, eternally, very, seriously sorry. I said awful things to you, and I hate myself for it. You're not a whiney bitch or an unintelligent nag or a nosey retard who needs to get his own life. You're an amazing person who deserves much better than me. I would never cheat on you, Frankie, and I'm so sorry I didn't do enough when we were together to prove that to you. I should have proven my love when I had the chance. I said I love you, but it obviously wasn't enough. And I'm sorry.
I'm also sorry for yelling at you instead of calmly explaining that he jumped on me. I should have been rational, but instead I had to go and be a hot-headed fuck-up like always and get angry and scream. If I'd just told you the truth first as opposed to getting all defensive, maybe I'd still have you.
Next, I need to apologize for not answering your calls the next day. I shouldn't have ignored you. I wanted to badly to hear your voice again, but my stupid fucking pride got in the way and I couldn't do it. So you hopped a plane back to Jersey and I haven't seen you in three months. And that's my fault, not yours.
Anyway, I am so, so, so sorry. And since our break's coming to an end, I'm gonna be flying back from California in a few days. I just wanted to clear the air before we started performing and recording again. I just need you to know how badly I wish I could take back all the awful things I said and did. I'm sorry.
All my love, Gerard
Fuck. Gee, you don't have to apologize for anything. I AM a bitch and a nag and a nosey bastard who should butt out and give you your space. And I know you wouldn't have cheated on me. I knew you loved me. NEVER think you didn't prove that to me when we were together, because you did. It's just that I saw him kissing you, and I jumped to conclusions. I wasn't even angry at you. I was angry at myself for having somebody as perfect as you and not being a good enough boyfriend because, if I were, you wouldn't have cheated. I know now that you didn't, though, and I feel awful that I didn't trust you. But the worst part was when I just left and went back to Belleville. That was the most childish and immature thing I could have possibly done, and I'll never forgive myself. And for the record, I don't blame you for not answering my calls. You were angry and had every right to be.
I'm really sorry, Gerard, and I understand if you never want to forgive me. I was stupid and selfish and wrong.
You did absolutely nothing wrong. I shouldn't have even been with Bert in the first place. I was only thinking about me and what I wanted. Had the roles been reversed, I would have been jealous and curious, too. But I'd just like you to know that I haven't spoken to him since and, hopefully, will never have to again. He's a fat stupid fuck who doesn't deserve anybody's time.
But God, Frankie, how could you say you weren't a good enough boyfriend? You're the best boyfriend I've ever had. Ever. I've never loved anybody in the world the way I love you, and I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. You're gorgeous and funny and sweet and talented and have a bigger heart than anyone I've ever met. I knew from the start that you adored me, and I went and fucked it up.
You've got nothing to apologize for. The best relationship I've ever been in is over because of my own stupidity. But you've moved on, and I deserve all the pain that brings.
Once again, I'm sorry, Frankie.
First of all, you thinking about what you wanted isn't a bad thing. You deserve your own life, and I need to learn how to butt the hell out.
Second, you didn't fuck it up. I did, and I wish you'd realize that. You did everything right and I was just dumb. We were perfect and happy, and then I destroyed it by being a huge, stupid asshole.
And third, who said I've moved on? You think I don't miss you every fucking day? You don't think I wake up every bloody morning and cry with regret for leaving and with hatred for myself? I'm far from over it, Gerard. Far from it.
Wait- you miss me? What?
Fuck yeah, I miss you. Like hell. I miss waking up to you in the morning and I miss falling asleep next to you at night. I miss holding your hand as we walked around the neighbourhood and I miss snuggling next to you on the couch as we watched crappy movies. I'm so, so, so sorry I left you, and I will never, EVER move on.
Oh my God. Frank, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have made a judgement like that. I just had no idea you'd feel that way after the awful way I treated you and after the horrible things I said to you. I miss you too- fuckin' badly. You're the reason I'm alive today and I spent the past months feeling sorry for myself when all I needed to do was call and I would have known that you felt the same. I can't believe I'm such a prick.
I love you, Frank.
Love from Gerard
Will you stop ragging on yourself already and just realize that we both made mistakes? I don't care about who's more sorry or who said what or anything anymore. All that matters now is that we love each other, and that we both miss each other. We should stop focusing on all the dumb shit that happened in the past and just think about the future. The future that I don't want to spend with anybody but you. I love you more than anything and anybody, Gerard, and I promise never to doubt you again.
Christ, Frank, you've got no idea how badly I've wanted to hear you say you love me again [and reading it online is just as good]. I love you like hell, and I will never do ANYTHING that stupid again. I promise to love you and cherish you and protect you and care about you forever. I don't need anything but you.
I'm getting on the next plane to Jersey, Frank, and I'm gonna spend every moment of the last week of our vacation with you. When the guys get back they're gonna find me a happier man than they've ever seen in their lives.
I can't wait to see you, Frankie, and I love you with all my heart.
Hehe. I don't really know where that came from, but I've had an idea like that for a long time and it was gonna kill me if I didn't write it. So voila, there it is. Pleasepleaseplease review/rate? =D