Harry learns his animagus form.
- the general idea was good, but it gets confusing to follow the story when you do not type the words like :
"She said" or He replied or Daphne said etc etc i know its tiring but its crucial for the reader to know who is speaking and where and why.
the environment is there, a very good plot, but i get confused at who is speaking, especially when they encountered the basilisk.
- I really like the way you are handling this. Harry is intelligent and capable, and handles himself well. The others seems to be themselves, but they've really just been introduced, so you have time to add your own flavor.
As for the animagus forms:
Ron: Irritable, aggressive, quick to anger, and ferocious in a fight. Ron is a Wolverine.
Hermione: Smart, freedom-loving, deep as the ocean, willing to help anyone who is drowning in the sea of homework. Hermione is a Dolphin.
Ginny: Flighty, Fiery, intense, tiny, and as at home in the air as Harry is. Ginny is a Merlin. (A tiny falcon)
Neville: The other possibility for TBWL (granting him the potential as Harry, as the prophecy could not have known who Voldie would pick), slow to anger, but incredibly strong and powerful when he is. Neville's first form is a Kodiak Bear. He is also a calm, gentle healer, and a source of wisdom for his friends. Neville is also Snake.
Tracey: Smart, cunning, (and since she is apparently going to be an ally here, I'll improvise) prankster, wicked sense of humor. Tracey is a Coyote.
Blaise: Cool, composed, deadly, stealthy, competent. Blaise is a Black Jaguar.
(#) red_jacobson 2009-03-28 06:09:04 PMInteresting story so far, not much to comment on, but I'm glad that you, so far, seem to be avoiding the character bashing of the Weasley's or Hermione that can be prevalent in Harry/Slytherin stories, so I'm enjoying that part.
Looking forward to more