Short chapter folks :/
"Okay..." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, chewing my lip thoughtfully. "Obviously... this is something a little more than just friendship." I mumbled and Frank rested his hand on my arm, smiling at me shyly. I looked at his sparkling hazel eyes and faltered. Now I was allowing myself to think of him in a way that I perhaps shouldnt I really saw how beautiful he was. His hair fell across his face and his peircings glinted in the light. He was suckling on his lipring like he always did when he was nervous, but his smile never left.
"Its a lot more than friendship Gee. I've never felt so strongly for someone before." He said quietly, his voice strong. I took a deep breath and managed to look away for a second, trying to process everything in my brain. It felt like everything was speeding ahead while my mind struggled to keep up. What did that even mean? What did it mean I felt for him?
"Frank... we need to think for a second okay? I mean -" I looked at him once more, desperate to see what he was feeling. "Why do you like me? How do you know its not just that you trust me, and love me as a friend?" I asked quietly and he pouted a little.
"I'm not an idiot..." He whined. I couldnt help but smile and brush his hair back.
"I know your not. I just... I dont want you to fall in love with someone and then realise you never felt strongly for me at all." It was the best way I could say 'I dont want you to fall in love and realise you never really loved me, and then think I took advantage of you because I should have known better'. Frank stared at me for a moment and I felt as if he could hear the words unspoken.
"Gerard. I'm not a child. I know your probably scared because of my dad and everything, and that you must think I could never love you because your a guy and older than me. I admit its hard for me to trust people - but I do trust you. And know what I'm feeling isnt just trust. Its like..." Frank paused and bit his lip, looking thoughtful.
"Its warm and safe. I feel protected when I'm with you. Your like my friend... but more than that. I mean, I love Ray - but its not the same thing I feel for you. I dont know if I could say right out that I love you because stuff like that takes time to admit right? But I definitely have feelings for you Gee, feelings that arent just friendly. I want you more than a friend Gerard." His eyes locked with mine, and I saw a glimpse of him I never had before. For a split second Frank wasnt the timid teenager I had grown to know. He was a man, calm and sure of himself. Ready to take on the world because his demons had died.
"Frank... do you even know what your saying?" I asked quietly, unsettled by how unsure I was feeling compared to him. There was no doubt I had strong feelings for him too, but didnt he understand all the repurcussions this would have?
"Of course I do. I want you to be more than my friend, and I hope you feel the same way for me too. I know the school would never stand for it. I know the police wouldnt be particularly impressed if they found out. But I'm eighteen in October, and I graduate in two months. I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and once I've graduated the school dont get a say in it." He said casually, shrugging his shoulders.
"You're right Frank, but that doesnt mean we should go rushing into things." I said quietly and Frank shifted closer to me, cupping my face in his hands and brushing a stray lock of hair behind my ear.
"We're not rushing into things. We wont do anything... well, ya' know... we wont do much. I just want to know that you'll be more than my friend. We'll keep it secret from the school, even Donna and Mikey if we need to. At least until I graduate, and then we can tell them. I know your mom wont mind at all, and I dont think Mikey will either." He said calmly and I was suprised at how sure he seemed.
"Frank, hold on - what exactly are you asking of me?" I asked, my head reeling. Frank stared at me for a moment, and the shy look was back. He lowered his hands and looked down, blushing a little. Sucking on his lip ring again.
"Well... I just..." He sighed and looked back up at me. "I like you Gerard. I more than like you in fact. I think I do love you, I want to know you as more than just a friend. I want you..." He paused and thought for a moment before continuing. "Boyfriend just seemes too much of a weird way of putting it, but I guess thats what I want. I want you to be my boyfriend." In that moment he seemed so innocent, and my tongue went dry. I didnt know what to do. What to say. How was I supposed to react? I was completely aware that I should say no, insist that whatever we had started ended right now. But I couldnt. His eyes were locked with mine, his expression pleading and I felt torn between my head and my heart.
"Frankie..." My voice was quiet, unsure and I saw rejection in his eyes.
"Gerard, you feel the same right?" He asked, his voice strained. "I though you liked me too..." I realised my mistake almost too late. By kissing him I had practically admitted to feeling the same. I couldnt go back on that or he would never trust me again. He would think I was the same as his father, just using him for my own twisted pleasure and that wasnt case.
"I do feel the same." I said quickly, taking his hands in mine and I saw relief wash over him. My stomach gave a flip as I realised I had just confessed that I liked him. It felt so good yet so wrong at the same time.
"But I'm your teacher Frankie. Even if the school didnt find out about it its just too risky, and besides I just... I would feel so wrong, in myself. I'm what... six years older than you? I know its not much, but... I dont know Frankie. Would it be right?" I asked, looking at him with eyes filled with doubt. His hand came up to rest on my arm and he gave me a soft smile.
"I dont care if its right. I like you, you like me, I know its risky, and things will have to be taken really slow - if only for my sake. But I just... I want to try Gee. I dont want you as just as my friend, I've wanted more than that for so long now. It tears me up whenever I hear the girls at school giggling about you and talking about how good looking you are. I keep reminding myself that you'll probably get a girlfriend soon and I start to feel jealous - jealous of a girl who doesnt even exist yet!" Frank gave a sad laugh and I stared at him in surprise. I had had no idea that he felt like that for me, I didnt even know the girls at school talked about me. I thought that had all ended in the first week.
"Frank..." I whispered, I was feeling less and less determined to call a stop to this. I was starting to wonder if Frank was right, if seeing being together would work.
"Please Gerard... I want to be with you..." He said quietly, I looked at his pleading face and felt my heart drop. I couldnt say no. I just couldnt.
"Okay..." I sighed. "Okay, we'll give it a try. But Frank, if you ever want things to stop just say so." I said sternly and he laughed, flinging his arms around me, pressing a kiss to my jaw.
"I will." He giggled. "Thankyou Gee." I rolled my eyes and cuddled him closer.
"You dont need to thank me. But the school musnt know." I said and Frank nodded. "And things are gonna go really slow." Frank nodded again and leaned back to smile at me.
"Dont worry Gee, I get it. Everythings gonna be okay." He said, brushing his fingers through my hair. It was strange, hearing him assure me that things were going to be fine when I was so used to telling him that. For once he was calm and sure, and I was the one worrying about everything, it was like a weird twist in things. A complete role reversal. It felt strange and unnerving, but when Franks lips softly connected with mine I forgot about it all.
The school wouldnt find out.
The police didnt need to know.
This was Franks choice, and it would all come to grinding halt as soon as he said the word.
I didnt need to worry.
A/N: Okay... shortish chapter, but I wrote it quickly on Friday night with the plan of posting it then, but I was kinda rushed away to go caravaning for the weekend (dont ask) and I didnt have chance to post it. Soooo - I'm posting it now, and I know its not great and Franks character kinda went a bit... unfrankyish? However! I'm putting it up here anyways cos' 1) I'm too lazy to re-write it (sooorrryyy) and 2) I can make up for it with the next chapter. I got some good times, bad times, and all round cute times, and we are only just getting started cracks knuckles