Mikey's memories [short one-shot]
I’m there again.
A place that holds so many memories.
It’s the only place I feel safe , yet its probably one off the most dangerous places to be.
Its only an empty field to them.
But I know different.
I know the way the sun lights it up during the day, sparkling in the sky and touching every single blade of grass as if each one had been personally blessed.
The way that if it’s a nice day, the three single benches, dry out so they almost lose their color altogether but if it rains the soak it up as if it’ll never rain again, wanting to preserve the last drops of water.
I know the sun sets behind the tall trees that surround one side, shadowing them and letting off a pale pink glow in the last few hours of the day.
The way the breeze flutters through the grass that’s long in clumps but grows to your knees like a jungle in the autumn.
This field, my memories.
They’ll always be mine.
I remember the days where I lay in the tall grass with Gerard. Soaking up ti warm sunshine and sketching whatever came to mind. He lay out so long he fell asleep and I had to jump on him to wake him up. We lay there all day, only to be disturbed by the cool breeze as it seemed to laugh along with us, enjoying the day as much as we did.
I never cared for a moment that day. Nothing mattered, not what would happen tomorrow or anything beyond the moment.
I remember the day we wanted to be on the talent show on tv and planned to enter it. We spent all day in that field, coming up with the best routine and trying to teach Gerard how to do a cartwheel. Later we realized that it was stupid and we looked ridiculous.
But it didn’t matter because we had so much fun with our idea, in the moment.
We camped in that field once. It was pouring down with rain and I could swear I heard thunder but the previous day, Gerard and I had wanted to go camping and we weren’t about to give up. We even brought Ray along, who thought that it was a better idea to camp next to the electrical pole in a storm, than to camp next to a tiny opening in the trees that he was scared of. We got soaked, shivered the whole night and tried to fit three of us in a two man tent. But that field held our memory, and it was one of the best times we spent with Ray.
We introduced Frankie to the field. I spent hours talking to Frank. Being able to talk to him so openly for the first time in my life and being able to spend time with him without the hundreds of friends he had just made it more special. It was the first time I realized just how broken Frankie was and knew I would never be bale to fix him no matter how much I wanted to. It was then it that field I had the best night of my life and fell in love with Frank Iero while Gerard rolled around drunk on the grass, making everyone laugh as he usually did. I love him for that.
I also spent the days there when I didn’t want to be anywhere else. When the world became to much, it was my home. As if there was a barrier between it and everyone else, I knew that I didn’t have to worry about a thing. It was the place where you could talk about things, spending long evenings talking about things you would never otherwise talk about and it was okay.
That’s why now, when the pain is too much and all these memories keep swimming around my head. I fear I’ll drown in them if I don’t escape and it seems like my time is done.
I’ve made enough memories and I’m ready to leave them. To leave everything.
I couldn’t thing of a better place to go than here. In the peaceful evening sounds of the oncoming summer and the thick mist that is beginning to set around me, threatening to swallow everything in its path.
Here’s to making another memory….the last memory.