hangovers alway hit us the hardest
What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
I told you time and time again you sing the words but still don't know what it means
To be a joke and look
Another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time
Take a good hard look
-my chemical romance
Waking up the next morning I groaned falling of the beanbag. My whole body hurt from head to toe
“Im never drinking again” Groaning, I pulled myself up looking at my bed I saw that it was empty. Sarah must have gone home. Walking into my bathroom I got undressed and stood under the shower, still thinking about last night. It doesn’t even seem that real, more like a nightmare that i havent pulled out of yet. Walking upstairs i could see my mom cooking breakfast with my dad's radio blaring which didnt help my headache.
"morning honey" Mum greeted
"morning" i muttered pulling the frankenberry towards to me.
"how was the study session last night with sarah?"she questioned.
"fine" i replied keeping my eyes glued to my cereal.
After i finished breakfast, i locked myself in my room. I was not in the mood to talk and I think my mom could see that. Putting on American Psycho by the misfits,Abominable Dr. Phibes soon started blaring through my room, lying on the floor i just stared at the ceiling. i didnt want to remember last night, i idnt want to see sarah the guilt was too much i coulda saved her,what if i that guy had walked past me,why didnt i check on her sooner, why, why, why?
1 week later
i hadnt seen Sarah all week. she wasnt at school and she wasnt answering her phone. i called around to her place but her parents said she was sick. it wasnt until friday that i had gotten a call from her.
"hello" i slurred picking up my phone an sittig on my bed. It was another friday night and after what happened last friay, i decided to stay home a drown out everything out.
"hey Gee" oh god it was Sarah.
"hi-i Sarah" i stuttered sobering up instantly.
"Gee you know what happened last week" she whispered she sounded like she was gunna cry.
"i went to the doctors today and..."silence.
"what?" i asking already knowing what shes going to say.
"im pregnant" even though i knew it was coming, my stomach still dropped.
"hold on i need to do something"i replied running into the bathroom and puking my guts out this is sick,sick and wrong flushing away the contents. i grabbed the vodka bottle from underneath my medicine and quickly took a swig wanting, to get the after taste out of my mouth.looking through the medicine cabinet i found my bottle of Xanax. i pulled out the two small white pills staring at them i knew i shouldnt take them, i know i shouldnt. i could feel my chest begin to tighten. as i tried not to cry biting back the tears, i placed the two pills in my mouth and swallowed.
"hey sar you still there?" i asked picking up the phone.
"i know this is stupid to ask but how are you feeling?"lying on my bed waiing for the pills to work.
"i wanna die gee how am i going to tell my parents?""thats when i heard her start crying.
feeling the xanxa take its course, i start feeling light headed, i could only hear every second word she was saying. now looking up at the ceiliencing it just wouldnt stay still, i was starting to feel motion sickness
"look sarah can i call you back i dont feel too well. you will be ok, i love you"
"bye gee i love you too" she replied before hanging up by that time i had already started to black out.
i really do hate hangovers,cursing at the sun which seemes to have penetrated my cave, i got up an stomped my way upstairs glancing in the fridge there was no milk
"MOM WERE OUTTA MILK"i yelled walking into our living room
"mom?" i asked why was she sitting on the couch, crying
"oh honey"was all my mom could say
"what is it mom is it grandma??" i asked rushing over to her side and hugging her,waiting till shed wiped away her tears.
"no dear its sarah" oh god, does she know? does she know i know?
"what wrong with sarah? i asked
"last night, she and her parents got into a fight and her parents went out. and they came back and she was..lying there dead"
"no, no you lying" getting up this cannot be happening no, no......
"honey, i know it's hard for you but you gotta acc-"
"NO! SHES NOT DEAD SHE JUST NOT!"i just collapsed crying
"hoeny its not your faut"my mom soothed, pullign me into a hug
oh if only you knew mom, if only you knew..
3 days later
sitting htere in the exact same black suit an red tie, i watched as they buried my only true friend. maybe if i hadn't of taken her to the party, she would still be here.
if i hadnt of hung up on her and ignored her, maybe she would still be here.
if only i could of just listen, i could of calmed her down, we coulda raised that baby together.
glancing over at her parents, i coudl see them mourning the loss of their daughter. if only they knew the truth. i knew i coulnt be the one to tell them i just knew i couldnt.
It's all my fault.
opinions im trying a differen style of writing like or hate?