Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Separated
It always felt like we were running into a deadline. How did Gin finish her part before me id never know. My attention was averted from the different lettering designs for an ad campaign when I turned to my 6 year old son who walked into the room and pouted. I tried my best to ignore him, that way maybe he'd go and bug his sisters. But his pout just grew and grew until I couldn't take the face anymore.
My Mom instinct kicked in and I had to make whatever was bothering my son go away, because thats what mommies are supposed to do. We are 24 hour monster checking boo boo kissing breakfast lunch and dinner making machines.
I had given up on pushing the "call" button on the iChat screen for Patrick when Rome sighed exasperated. When the iChat screen stayed blank I shut the MAC half way and focused all my attention on this kid.
"What is it Rome?" I said as I looked up from the Pete had sent over.
"Im sick of girls Mom." My 6 year old said as he walked over and buried his head in my lap, now clear of the MAC I put on the table.
"I Pray to uncle Joes god every night you think like that waaaay into your 30's" I said rubbing his shaggy hair
"Moooom" He whined and buried his head into my stomach, "This is no joke mom. Between Sofi, Gia and Zoë with all the girl talk Im gong crazy." He added as he put his hands on his little head and sighed dramatically.
I laughed at my only son wondering when he learned to speak so intelligently.
"Tell you what. Why don't you call your father and-"
"I hate him he's stupid!" Roman exclaimed.
Which 1 shocked me, because he's so even tempered and 2 because he was being way disrespectful
"Roman Martin Luke Stump! Don't speak that way about your father! Respeta!" Rome glared ahead for a bit and then spoke again.
"He is stupid!"
"Roman! What did I just say!"
"Mommy. I hate him and there's nothing you can do about that Uncle Joe can be my dad."
"Roman. Don't- why are you saying these things, you love your father." I said confused.
I honestly had NO clue where all this pent up anger is coming from. This little man full of fire was nothing like my baby. I didn't understand.
"Not anymore. He doesn't love us so why should I love him?"
"Roman that’s crazy your father loves y-"
"No he doesn’t! He doesn’t love me or the girls or you! All he does is make everyone cry. Everyone but Elisa. I don't know why he only loves her she's stupid! She just yells at us the whole time we are over there and dad just lets her. He's always playing his stupid guitar and he doesn't pay attention to us. He comes in and he kisses her and he doesn't even kiss Sofi, Zoë or Gia and they get sad. He makes Sofi cry all the time because he never comes like he promises. And he makes you cry mommy, I know you don't want us to know but I notice. I notice he makes you the saddest and I hate him. I hate him because you are the most awesome mom ever. I. HATE. HIM."
I was in complete shock and I did the only thing I could I pulled my angered shaking 6 year old to me and held him close to me the same way I held him when he was born and couldn't breath.
My poor little guy.
I had no idea he felt this way.
After a minute he was calm and he pulled away and wiped his green eyes.
"You better?" I asked.
"No I still hate girls." Rome said annoyed.
"Why don't you go over to Uncle Joe's? Gin told me he bought the boys some new arcade games."
Rome's face lit up and he ran out the room. I let out a sigh and with it some tears.
Something moved on the computer screen and I looked up quickly.
It seems that after an hour of trying to get him to talk to me, Patrick had decided that he would answer my iChat call and heard everything his son had said. All I saw was the top of his hat covered downcast head one arm going to his face to wipe away tears and the other coming closer to the screen.
"Patrick!" But my scream was useless his end had gone black. I sighed exasperated. I cried in the office for a few minutes more before the alarm system chimed that the patio door had opened. I pulled myself together as best I could wiped my eyes and walked out into the kitchen where Pete and Joe yelled after Sloane and Izzy not to run so fast on their way to meet up with Sofia, Zoë and Gia. The two men laughed as they sat on my island and began eating some cookies I had baked earlier for the little people.
I tried to make myself look busy taking another batch of cookies out of the oven and walking over to the cooling rack.
“Cal. I’ve been here for exactly 6 minutes and you haven’t insulted me once. I’m hurt. What’s going on? You don’t love me anymore?” Pete pouted playfully as he picked the macadamia nuts off his cookie like a six year old.
“Honestly Peter you are 35 years old… Grow up.” I said in a strained voice.
Pete was taken aback by my comment. He was only trying to banter like we usually did I regret my words as soon as they left my mouth and closed my eyes shaking my head. I didn’t need to push my friends away. Not now.
“What the hell crawled up your ass and died Calista?” Pete said glaring slightly Joe became quickly serious and his face completely transformed. He had a cold scowl now and I knew that was NOT good.
“I’m sorry Pete. I’m just having a bad day.” I said exhasparated.
“Yea I can see that but don’t take that shit out on me I didn’t do it.” Pete said in a huff. He then looked over at me with tears in my eyes and sighed slightly as he got up to hug me.
“What’s going on Cali Love?” before I could open my mouth to speak Joe jumped in angrily.
“Cant you see it Peter? Classic signs of Patrick relapse. What did he do now? Did he fuck and leave before you woke up? Whose school function did he forget? How many times am I going to have to tell you to just let him go? I don’t even know what you are doing out here you should be in Chicago. Is that why Rome is upset I swea-”
“Joe lay off will you? I didn’t mean it I’m just…” Pete started hugging me closer and I cut him off.
“He’s the father of my children Joe. He was my husband. This is your best friend you are talking about. Why are you acting like this?”
Joe uncharacteristically sneered.
“He hasn’t been my ‘best friend’ a father or a husband in five years Calista. I don’t know that guy. That guy is an asshole and if it weren’t for you not letting me I would have bashed his face in until he grew a fucking backbone.”
“Violence won’t fix anything. It would just hurt the kids to see him like that.” Joe rolled his eyes.
“Right because he sees them all the fucking time. Him. Mr. Oh I forgot to picked them up from school because I was too busy fucking my girlfriend. Yea. I feel the love.”
“Please Joe. I’ve had enough of that from Roman already.”
“What do you mean?” Pete said Pulling away from me slightly.
I sighed and began the story of what happened earlier with Rome.
“And then he just logged off the ichat.” I ended looking over at the two men across the island from me.
“Well Romans always been very aware of emotion. He’s always been so smart. I knew I liked him for a reason.” Joe laughed bitterly and shook his head while Pete looked off through the glass door of the patio. This hurt Pete the most. He couldn’t wrap his head around how this was the same man who would talk hours on end about how all he wanted was a family and kids and that whole home life. This wasn’t that shy guy he met at Joes in the argyle sweater that one unforgettable day in Chicago.
Pete got up suddenly and began pacing. Joe had a million things running through his head, a million things he wanted to say I could almost read the words in his eyes but he wouldn’t let them out. He saw me hurting enough and didn’t need to add to that. He shook his head and looked down at his hands. Pete stopped his pacing and Joe looked up to the hall entrance when the alarm signaled the front door had opened. We heard footsteps and then his figure came into view. His blood shot eyes shot accusing stares at me from down the hall but when he walked into the kitchen and saw Joe and Pete there his expression softened a bit. He hadn’t seen or talked to either in months. Joe got up from his chair roughly and began to pace over but was caught by Pete before he could reach his target.
“You don’t need to break your hand Joe. Calm down.”
"Fuck him" Joe shot bitterly and this only caused Pete to grab Joe and push him out into the backyard. they were heard only for a minute arguing as Pete shoved him farther and farther away from the house. A moment went in silence before Patrick spoke. his words so full of hate that they made me cringe.
"You did this. You truned everyone against me. You wanted me to hear what Rome said on purpose!" Patrick yelled with fury.
I don't know what hurt me more. The fact that his eyes were so cold or the fact that he really believed I'd be so low.
"Don’t be absurd Patrick why would I want that?"
"You are still mad. you are still bitter that i left, that i couldnt find hapiness with you. you are upset that i am happy with Elisa now. so you turn them all agaisnt me. its payback! you want him to hate me you want the ALL to hate me" this was pissing me off. this has gone too far.
"you are a FUCKING idiot! Why would I want anyone to hate you when I myself can't stop loving you?"
This news seemed to catch him by complete surprise. The look on his face was similar to that of one who've just discovered Santa really DOES exist.
This somehow hurt me more than his previous words.
"God Patrick Martin you are so dense sometimes. You just don't fucking get it! All those notes floating around in there and all that genius and you can't even see that I've done everything in my power to make you happy, to make sure you have enough time with the kids. I fucking re-located my whole entire LIFE, left my family behind to move to Los Angeles so you could be with your witch and your kids without problem. I lied to them...I lie to my kids to protect you. I made up excuses when you didn't show up I made it my fault! Everything is always mommy's fault because to them daddy can do no harm. But this is how you repay that? All you know how to do is hurt us. That's how you repay me with hurt. I do the impossible to make things easier for you, to make sure they see you, to make things easier for you, I torture myself everyday. I make myself miserable everyday to make YOU happy and for what? All you can do in return is make me miserable and hurt me. God how you hurt me. You proposed to her. You follow her around like some love sick pain loving puppy and bend to her will fuck everyone else's feelings right! Your kids who gives a fuck! Me? Fuck me! Your friends and family? None of it matters to you as long as Elisa's happy. Don't you fucking dare blame this on me! I've spent 5 years lying to myself and to the kids about how you aren't such a bad guy but you know what? I was wrong. It took our 6 year old son calling you out on all the bullshit to get me to realize what you really are. What I'm really in love with still is someone who doesn't even exist anymore I'm not sure if you ever really did. So I'm sorry Patrick. I'm sorry your son is too smart to believe my lies about you anymore. I'm sorry that he figured out daddy's a fucking asshole but you have no one to blame but yourself and your inattentiveness for that. Now keep your shit and finger pointing to yourself, go back to the hole you crawled out off before I tell Joe to come back over so he can give you that ass kicking I've been trying to persuade him not to give you!"
The last thing I saw was the gum fall out of Patrick's mouth before I slammed him against the wall of the kitchen and walked back to my office slamming the door. Gin was sitting there at the desk with something in her hand, I just looked at her pissed because I was falling apart at the seams.
"And what the fuck is your problem?!" I demanded.
My Mom instinct kicked in and I had to make whatever was bothering my son go away, because thats what mommies are supposed to do. We are 24 hour monster checking boo boo kissing breakfast lunch and dinner making machines.
I had given up on pushing the "call" button on the iChat screen for Patrick when Rome sighed exasperated. When the iChat screen stayed blank I shut the MAC half way and focused all my attention on this kid.
"What is it Rome?" I said as I looked up from the Pete had sent over.
"Im sick of girls Mom." My 6 year old said as he walked over and buried his head in my lap, now clear of the MAC I put on the table.
"I Pray to uncle Joes god every night you think like that waaaay into your 30's" I said rubbing his shaggy hair
"Moooom" He whined and buried his head into my stomach, "This is no joke mom. Between Sofi, Gia and Zoë with all the girl talk Im gong crazy." He added as he put his hands on his little head and sighed dramatically.
I laughed at my only son wondering when he learned to speak so intelligently.
"Tell you what. Why don't you call your father and-"
"I hate him he's stupid!" Roman exclaimed.
Which 1 shocked me, because he's so even tempered and 2 because he was being way disrespectful
"Roman Martin Luke Stump! Don't speak that way about your father! Respeta!" Rome glared ahead for a bit and then spoke again.
"He is stupid!"
"Roman! What did I just say!"
"Mommy. I hate him and there's nothing you can do about that Uncle Joe can be my dad."
"Roman. Don't- why are you saying these things, you love your father." I said confused.
I honestly had NO clue where all this pent up anger is coming from. This little man full of fire was nothing like my baby. I didn't understand.
"Not anymore. He doesn't love us so why should I love him?"
"Roman that’s crazy your father loves y-"
"No he doesn’t! He doesn’t love me or the girls or you! All he does is make everyone cry. Everyone but Elisa. I don't know why he only loves her she's stupid! She just yells at us the whole time we are over there and dad just lets her. He's always playing his stupid guitar and he doesn't pay attention to us. He comes in and he kisses her and he doesn't even kiss Sofi, Zoë or Gia and they get sad. He makes Sofi cry all the time because he never comes like he promises. And he makes you cry mommy, I know you don't want us to know but I notice. I notice he makes you the saddest and I hate him. I hate him because you are the most awesome mom ever. I. HATE. HIM."
I was in complete shock and I did the only thing I could I pulled my angered shaking 6 year old to me and held him close to me the same way I held him when he was born and couldn't breath.
My poor little guy.
I had no idea he felt this way.
After a minute he was calm and he pulled away and wiped his green eyes.
"You better?" I asked.
"No I still hate girls." Rome said annoyed.
"Why don't you go over to Uncle Joe's? Gin told me he bought the boys some new arcade games."
Rome's face lit up and he ran out the room. I let out a sigh and with it some tears.
Something moved on the computer screen and I looked up quickly.
It seems that after an hour of trying to get him to talk to me, Patrick had decided that he would answer my iChat call and heard everything his son had said. All I saw was the top of his hat covered downcast head one arm going to his face to wipe away tears and the other coming closer to the screen.
"Patrick!" But my scream was useless his end had gone black. I sighed exasperated. I cried in the office for a few minutes more before the alarm system chimed that the patio door had opened. I pulled myself together as best I could wiped my eyes and walked out into the kitchen where Pete and Joe yelled after Sloane and Izzy not to run so fast on their way to meet up with Sofia, Zoë and Gia. The two men laughed as they sat on my island and began eating some cookies I had baked earlier for the little people.
I tried to make myself look busy taking another batch of cookies out of the oven and walking over to the cooling rack.
“Cal. I’ve been here for exactly 6 minutes and you haven’t insulted me once. I’m hurt. What’s going on? You don’t love me anymore?” Pete pouted playfully as he picked the macadamia nuts off his cookie like a six year old.
“Honestly Peter you are 35 years old… Grow up.” I said in a strained voice.
Pete was taken aback by my comment. He was only trying to banter like we usually did I regret my words as soon as they left my mouth and closed my eyes shaking my head. I didn’t need to push my friends away. Not now.
“What the hell crawled up your ass and died Calista?” Pete said glaring slightly Joe became quickly serious and his face completely transformed. He had a cold scowl now and I knew that was NOT good.
“I’m sorry Pete. I’m just having a bad day.” I said exhasparated.
“Yea I can see that but don’t take that shit out on me I didn’t do it.” Pete said in a huff. He then looked over at me with tears in my eyes and sighed slightly as he got up to hug me.
“What’s going on Cali Love?” before I could open my mouth to speak Joe jumped in angrily.
“Cant you see it Peter? Classic signs of Patrick relapse. What did he do now? Did he fuck and leave before you woke up? Whose school function did he forget? How many times am I going to have to tell you to just let him go? I don’t even know what you are doing out here you should be in Chicago. Is that why Rome is upset I swea-”
“Joe lay off will you? I didn’t mean it I’m just…” Pete started hugging me closer and I cut him off.
“He’s the father of my children Joe. He was my husband. This is your best friend you are talking about. Why are you acting like this?”
Joe uncharacteristically sneered.
“He hasn’t been my ‘best friend’ a father or a husband in five years Calista. I don’t know that guy. That guy is an asshole and if it weren’t for you not letting me I would have bashed his face in until he grew a fucking backbone.”
“Violence won’t fix anything. It would just hurt the kids to see him like that.” Joe rolled his eyes.
“Right because he sees them all the fucking time. Him. Mr. Oh I forgot to picked them up from school because I was too busy fucking my girlfriend. Yea. I feel the love.”
“Please Joe. I’ve had enough of that from Roman already.”
“What do you mean?” Pete said Pulling away from me slightly.
I sighed and began the story of what happened earlier with Rome.
“And then he just logged off the ichat.” I ended looking over at the two men across the island from me.
“Well Romans always been very aware of emotion. He’s always been so smart. I knew I liked him for a reason.” Joe laughed bitterly and shook his head while Pete looked off through the glass door of the patio. This hurt Pete the most. He couldn’t wrap his head around how this was the same man who would talk hours on end about how all he wanted was a family and kids and that whole home life. This wasn’t that shy guy he met at Joes in the argyle sweater that one unforgettable day in Chicago.
Pete got up suddenly and began pacing. Joe had a million things running through his head, a million things he wanted to say I could almost read the words in his eyes but he wouldn’t let them out. He saw me hurting enough and didn’t need to add to that. He shook his head and looked down at his hands. Pete stopped his pacing and Joe looked up to the hall entrance when the alarm signaled the front door had opened. We heard footsteps and then his figure came into view. His blood shot eyes shot accusing stares at me from down the hall but when he walked into the kitchen and saw Joe and Pete there his expression softened a bit. He hadn’t seen or talked to either in months. Joe got up from his chair roughly and began to pace over but was caught by Pete before he could reach his target.
“You don’t need to break your hand Joe. Calm down.”
"Fuck him" Joe shot bitterly and this only caused Pete to grab Joe and push him out into the backyard. they were heard only for a minute arguing as Pete shoved him farther and farther away from the house. A moment went in silence before Patrick spoke. his words so full of hate that they made me cringe.
"You did this. You truned everyone against me. You wanted me to hear what Rome said on purpose!" Patrick yelled with fury.
I don't know what hurt me more. The fact that his eyes were so cold or the fact that he really believed I'd be so low.
"Don’t be absurd Patrick why would I want that?"
"You are still mad. you are still bitter that i left, that i couldnt find hapiness with you. you are upset that i am happy with Elisa now. so you turn them all agaisnt me. its payback! you want him to hate me you want the ALL to hate me" this was pissing me off. this has gone too far.
"you are a FUCKING idiot! Why would I want anyone to hate you when I myself can't stop loving you?"
This news seemed to catch him by complete surprise. The look on his face was similar to that of one who've just discovered Santa really DOES exist.
This somehow hurt me more than his previous words.
"God Patrick Martin you are so dense sometimes. You just don't fucking get it! All those notes floating around in there and all that genius and you can't even see that I've done everything in my power to make you happy, to make sure you have enough time with the kids. I fucking re-located my whole entire LIFE, left my family behind to move to Los Angeles so you could be with your witch and your kids without problem. I lied to them...I lie to my kids to protect you. I made up excuses when you didn't show up I made it my fault! Everything is always mommy's fault because to them daddy can do no harm. But this is how you repay that? All you know how to do is hurt us. That's how you repay me with hurt. I do the impossible to make things easier for you, to make sure they see you, to make things easier for you, I torture myself everyday. I make myself miserable everyday to make YOU happy and for what? All you can do in return is make me miserable and hurt me. God how you hurt me. You proposed to her. You follow her around like some love sick pain loving puppy and bend to her will fuck everyone else's feelings right! Your kids who gives a fuck! Me? Fuck me! Your friends and family? None of it matters to you as long as Elisa's happy. Don't you fucking dare blame this on me! I've spent 5 years lying to myself and to the kids about how you aren't such a bad guy but you know what? I was wrong. It took our 6 year old son calling you out on all the bullshit to get me to realize what you really are. What I'm really in love with still is someone who doesn't even exist anymore I'm not sure if you ever really did. So I'm sorry Patrick. I'm sorry your son is too smart to believe my lies about you anymore. I'm sorry that he figured out daddy's a fucking asshole but you have no one to blame but yourself and your inattentiveness for that. Now keep your shit and finger pointing to yourself, go back to the hole you crawled out off before I tell Joe to come back over so he can give you that ass kicking I've been trying to persuade him not to give you!"
The last thing I saw was the gum fall out of Patrick's mouth before I slammed him against the wall of the kitchen and walked back to my office slamming the door. Gin was sitting there at the desk with something in her hand, I just looked at her pissed because I was falling apart at the seams.
"And what the fuck is your problem?!" I demanded.
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