Weeks had passed since I'd fallen down the stairs. Gerard had just sat there, staring at me. I'd covered the bump just before the guy's had come around the corner to see what had happened.
I hadn't spoken to Gerard and he hadn't tried to speak to me, we avoided each other at all costs.
I'd slept somewhat in my own bunk, though most dreams had turned to nightmares and I'd been left to lie there for several hours before one of the guys woke up.
The guys had played a couple of shows and done a few interviews, but now the guys were ready for a break. Bob's wrist was playing up and they wanted to make sure it was okay before they tried to play again. Bob seemed to be slightly worried about me and Gerard's relationship and for what seemed to be the tenth morning in a row, he'd pulled me aside.
“Why aren't you two talking?”
“We are. I'm talking to him just as much as the others.”
“Yeah, not much, are you okay? Are you homesick?” We lent against the bunks, the rain pelted down around the bus as we traveled along the highway. “I'm just getting used to it, not many people can make a smooth transition into living on a bus with 5 grown men.”
“You know I'm here if you need to talk, right?” His voice was strained, I was causing him too many problems. “I know, stop worrying.” I walked over and hid behind the curtain of the practice room. I lent against it and breathed a sigh, my eyes shut. I pressed my hand against my stomach as pain seared through it, “ouch ouch ouch ,” I moaned sitting down upon one of the couches. I pulled my headphones and placed them in my ears. Metro Station played into my head, guitar and base replacing my steady heart beat. I looked out the window as the rain came down.
I traced raindrops as they danced their way across the window pane like ballerinas across a stage. Cars sped past us, moving into the other direction. It was peaceful watching the other travelers in their stupid everyday lives. Pain shuddered in my stomach and I was forced to sit two fold.
“Are you okay?” Gerard sat beside me, his hand placed gently on my back rubbing it, the other held my own, placed on my knee. I pressed down upon his hand, unable to speak for pain and fear of what I would say. The pain eased a little and I was able to sit upright. I smiled weakly at Gee but he didn't return it. “Bob knows.” He stated, no need to ask. He already knew. I nodded. He held my hand still and he rubbed his thumb gently across the side of my hand. I looked into his face and saw nothing but love. “If you need help, I'll be here for you.”
“I wont, I'm going to do this myself.” He looked upset, his mouth turned downwards and a frown knotted his brows. “If I need hep, you'll be the first I ask.” I quickly replaced before again smiling and he returned it this time, I looked at him. He didn't look ill any more like in the start of our journey. He looked happy. My fingers traced his jaw. His hand rested into my palm. I pressed my lips gently against his. They were cold like ice cream on a summers day. “Gerard your freezing,” I laughed. “I think I ought to warm you up a little.”
I wrapped my arms tightly around his back and pulled him into myself, he smiled and kissed me, his lips warm around the edges. His tongue darted into my mouth and played with my own. He began to kiss my neck and his hand carefully pushed back the hoodie I was wearing. His fingers danced across my chest pulling down on the t-shirt I was wearing. I took my hands from his back and quickly shrugged out of my hoodie. My fingers nimbly found his T-shirt and pulled at its hem, gingerly pulling it over his head. My hands twisted into his hair as he kissed me passionately like he had on our first morning on the bus. His hands parted my legs slightly and his fingers pulled at my T-shirt, I broke the kiss and swiftly pulled it over my head. He kissed me again and his hands moved across my back, his fingers undoing the straps on the bra I was wearing. I shook it off and his fingers caressed my breasts. I moaned slightly and his fingers began to play slightly on my back.
I shifted myself so that I straddled him, my fingers pulled at the roots of his hair as he pulled on my nipples. “STOP.” I pulled myself away from him.
His eyes were full of rejection. I removed myself from his lap and threw my T-shirt on over my head. I grabbed my other clothes from the floor and left the Practice room. I'd been hurt enough.