Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Unstoppable
Reviews
Unstoppable
(#) danceislife 2009-05-20
Happy ending! But not for long, correct?
i swear to freaking god that this is my favorite story right now. And I have no idea why.
My only suggestion would be to make it longer? Someone was saying something about chapter length somewhere, like that under 1000 isn't really a chapter and what not. I've been reading recreationally a lot lately and in books, unless it's for effect, chapters are quite lengthy. I've got a story in progress now that I have yet to post, and the first chapter (which isn't done) is already at 3,000.
I'd just challenge you to work towards making length. Not excessively though. Story line is FANTASTIC, but I wouldn't mind some more detail. Like Pete's there with flowers. What kind are they? Are they her favorite? Maybe her favorite color? Then you could go into a tiny back story about how he knows they're her favorite or something. Or of another time he gave her flowers: "The last time he gave her flowers blah blah blah" and stuff like that can increase your length as well as give your characters more depth.
Hopefully you take this as constructive criticism and not me being like "OMFin'GOD you're the worst writer on Ficwad" because your not (have you SEEN some of the stuff on here?!?!?! YIKES!) I say all of this with absolute LOVE and adoration. I just wanna see you grow a little ;)
Unstoppable
(#) danceislife 2009-05-20
OMG I used the wrong you're. That's one of my pet peeves. So I apologize. Damn. That irks me.
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