Categories > Original > Humor

Walt Disney World Goes to Hell

by Lizard_Love 0 Reviews

Mickey, Amanda, Wolfie, Brittany, Brood, Alexa and Mar all take a trip to Walt Disney World. With these three girls, all hell breaks loose.

Category: Humor - Rating: R - Genres: Humor - Characters:  - Warnings: [X] - Published: 2009/05/20 - Updated: 2009/05/21 - 3115 words

It was early morning at Epcot. Brood, Mickey, Brittany, Mar, Wolfie, Amanda and Alexa strolled through the gates. They stopped near the fountain to plan their next move and to take pictures of the giant golf ball.

“I love Epcot,” purred Mickey.

“Not me,” said Wolfie.

“What?” said Mickey. “How can you not love this park? It makes learning fun!”

“I could understand hating this park if you were male, Wolfie,” said Amanda. “Men hate to learn. Overpowers their tiny minds.”

“I thought their minds would at least expand,” said Mar.

“The sex that their minds are filled with absorbs the information,” said Amanda. “Sometimes they turn what they have just learned into a sex move. Like Mickey could write Edgar humped her ‘Living with the Land’ style and it would make perfect sense.”

“At least they learned something,” said Brittany.

“Could you imagine the sex acts if guys did all their learning at Epcot?” laughed Alexa. “Test Track style!”

“You can’t do hair pins in bed!” laughed Amanda. “You’d snap his cock right off! Though some deserve that to happen to them.”

“How about the German Block hump?” laughed Mickey.

“Ow,” laughed Alexa.

“That would kill your back, Mick,” laughed Amanda.

“Getting away from Disney sex,” said Mar. “Wolfie, why do you already hate this park?”

“I just don’t like future world,” said Wolfie.

“Don’t be hatin’,” said Mickey.

“I want to go to World Showcase,” said Wolfie. “I want Amanda to try on a hat from each country.”

“Oh fuck you,” sneered Amanda.

“Well, can you wait for us to finish riding the golf ball?” asked Mickey.

“It’s a ride?” asked Brittany. “About what?”

“Probably futuristic golf,” said Wolfie.

“About how communication has evolved over the years,” said Mickey.

“And as an added bonus, how they predict communication will be in the future!” said Amanda.

They walked over to the golf ball. Wolfie goes into the gift shop while the rest go into the golf ball.

“How long is this ride?” asked Brood.

“Twenty minutes,” smiled Mickey. “And it goes two miles an hour!”

“Sounds thrilling,” said Brood.

“It’s a learning ride,” sneered Mickey.

“I doubt you could learn going 200 miles an hour,” noted Brittany.

They got into the blue plastic cars and started on their journey. Before they knew it, the ride came to an end and Mickey stumbled from the car crying.

“You okay?” asked Alexa.

“Yeah, it’s just that ending,” said Mickey.

They walked outside and saw Wolfie holding something behind her back.

“Whatcha got?” asked Amanda.

“A hat!” cackled Wolfie as she placed it on Amanda’s head. It was the golf ball.

“It’s so cute!” said Mickey taking a picture of Amanda with all three of her cameras.

Amanda ripped it off her head and stomped on it. “I HATE HATS!”

They walked through future world, stopping to use the restroom at the Electric Umbrella and looking at pins. They rounded a rather large gift shop, which Amanda was glad they skipped because she saw a hat section, and they came to a building. They entered and they were on the top floor. They walked down some stairs and they were transported into an airport.

“This is home to the best ride ever,” said Mickey. “Living With the Land.”

“Living With the Land?” asked Mar. “What’s that about? Agriculture?”

“Uh, yeah,” said Mickey.

“Exciting,” said Brood.

“Contain yourself,” joked Amanda. “We even get to see a real greenhouse.”

Brittany, Brood, Mar and Mickey whipped out there cameras. “We are so taking Edgar and Ellen pictures,” they said together.

“I’m hungry,” said Wolfie.

“Well, there’s two restaurants,” said Mickey. “One over looks the land and you get to lear-”

“We are not eating there!” cried Wolfie.

“Well, in each of these buildings are mini-take out places,” said Mickey. “Pizza, salads, that junk.”

“I’m waiting for Japan,” smirked Amanda.

“Hell yeah, sushi house!” giggled Mickey.

“Sushi?” asked Wolfie. “I’ll wait.”

They got into the line for the Land. “When can we go on a fast ride?” asked Brood.

“After this,” said Mickey. “Next ride is Mission Space.”

“Is that the ride with all those g-forces like you’re really being launched into space?” asked Alexa.

“That ride is so kick ass,” said Amanda.

They boarded the boat and all took a seat towards the front. A man stood at the front of the boat. “Hello and welcome to the land! I will be your tour guide for the next forty-five minutes.”

“WHAT!?” screamed Brood.

“Haha, no, only for the next ten minutes,” laughed the tour guide.

===

After they rode the land, they exited the building. “I think I know more about limabeans than I do about chainsaws!” cried Wolfie.

“Can we ride that space ride now?” asked Brood.

There was no line and they practically walked into their pod.

“It’s pretty private in here,” said Brood.

“Are you like thinking what I’m like thinking?” said a familiar voice. Mickey saw it was her cousin and this one guy who went to her school, Jeremy.

They heard a zipper unzip. "One step ahead of you, baby.”

Marilyn goes down.

“H-how long is this r-r-ride?” moaned Jeremy to Mickey.

“Three minutes,” said Mickey.

“Of c-course, the good r-ride is short,” moaned Jeremy.

The ride went into blast off. It put a ton of pressure into the cabin, pushing Marilyn down further onto Jeremy’s crotch.

“OH! OH! OH MY GOD! OOH! OH!” cried Jeremy.

“Dude, calm dow-OH DEAR GOD!” cried Brittany as she saw Marilyn giving this tall guy a blow job.

“Brittany?” asked Brood. “OH MY GOD! MY EYES ARE BLEEDING!”

The ride ended what seemed an eternity later. “Let’s never ride that again!” breathed Brood.

“Holy shit!” cried Amanda. “Test Track only has a 15 minute wait!”

“I don’t think the time is right,” said Mickey. A car zoomed by, it was empty. “Well, I’ll be damned!’

“I never wanna ride that space ride again,” shuddered Brood.

“We’re riding Test Track now,” said Amanda.

“Never again!” cried Brood. “Will I go on that space ride!”

“You mean you don’t wanna see my cousin give head again?” fake pouted Mickey.

“AHH!” cried Brood.

“It’s okay, Broodie, let’s get away from that mean ol’ ride,” cooed Mickey.

They got into line for Test Track. The line was so short, that they were just casually placed into the video room. Mickey leaned against the wall and sighed as the two people rambled on and on about the ride.

“So, we’re test dummies in this ride?” said Wolfie. “Sweet.

“But what about that famous crash test?” said Brood. “Where they smash you into a wall.”

“Oh, we do that,” smirked Mickey.

The lights came on and Amanda, Wolfie and Mickey exited, leaving Brittany and Brood standing there, terrified.

“Did she just say we’re gonna crash into a wall?” gulped Brood.

“I didn’t get to watch Otis last night!” cried Brittany shaking Brood.

“Brittany!” cried Mickey. “You’re gonna give Brood SBS.”

“SBS?” said Brittany.

“Shaken Brood Syndrome,” said Mickey. “Now come, on let’s ride.”

With that, they followed the three girls to a white car. Brood got in first in the first row. Mickey sat next to her, then Brittany and Mar. In the back sat Wolfie, Amanda and Alexa. They rounded a corner and Brood turned around to Alexa.

“Remember that I love you baby,” said Brood.

“We’re not going to die,” smiled Alexa.

Brood turned around. “You didn’t hear Mickey.”

The ride went by pretty fast, too fast for Brood and Brittany. Why they sat in the front row, they’ll never know. The car rounded a bend and the car now looked at a wall. This was the end. Brood and Brittany shut their eyes as the car sped towards the wall. They felt a gush of wind on their faces. Were they traveling to heaven? They opened their eyes. They were on the track that twisted around the building. They both shot their hands up and enjoyed what was left of the ride.

They got off, Brood and Brittany were quite relieved. “Let’s go shopping!” giggled Mickey.

===World Showcase Mexico===

“Can we just skip Mexico?” asked Wolfie.

“No,” said Mickey. “I wanna see you all trip out on Rio De Tempo aka the Mexican version of Small World.”

“Gee thanks,” said Brood.

They walked into the pyramid and saw it was not only a boat ride but a shopping area as well. Alexa gasped. “Broodie, I want a skirt!”

“Okay, okay, baby, after the ride,” giggled Brood.

They got into the line. “I should have had some alcohol, I heard it makes this ride a trip,” hummed Mickey.

“Can’t I just pretend to trip out?” asked Alexa. “I really want one of those skirts.”

“This ride is also shorter than Small World,” said Mickey.

A boat pulled up and Mickey pulled Brittany and Wolfie into her row. “Y’all will protect me, right?”

“Protect you from what?” asked Brittany.

“The puppet carousel.”

The ride soon came to a close and they were all freaking out to get off. “I WANT OFF THIS FUCKED UP RIDE!” cried Alexa.

“WHY DID I RIDE!?” screamed Mickey.

“I WILL NEVER RIDE THAT AGAIN!” cried Brood.

“This will make for the best youtube video ever,” Alexa smirked.

“LET ME OFF!” screamed Brood.

The boat pulled up to the loading deck and they all booked it out of the pyramid.

===NORWAY===

“I love this area!” giggled Mickey.

“Germany is next!” cheered Brood.

“The sooner we ride Maelstrom, the sooner we get to Germany,” said Mickey.

“Maelstrom?” said Brood.

“Like Rio De Tempo,” said Amanda.

“Only, less scary,” said Mickey.

“I hated Rio De whatever!” cried Wolfie.

“I’m gonna have those nightmares again,” cried Mickey.

“You poor thing,” soothed Wolfie hugging Mickey.

“This is actually fun,” said Amanda as they got into line.

“The trolls put a spell on you,” said Mickey.

“And you go backwards,” said Amanda.

“I thought you learned things from this park?” said Alexa.

“You do,” said Wolfie.

“But this ride has trolls,” said Alexa.

“The focus of this ride is not about trolls,” said Mickey. “But about Norway.”

“Then why trolls?” asked Alexa.

“Because trolls are a part of the Norwegian culture,” said Mickey.

“Let’s hope she’s not talking about troll dolls,” laughed Mar.

“That would be down right freaky,” said Amanda.

They board onto a viking ship. The ride starts out as an incline. Ahead is a viking head. His eye lit up blue and began to spin.

“This ride is a trip!” laughed Wolfie.

“Everytime I hear that word, I get remembered of my ex-gf and how much she hated hippies,” sighed Mickey.

“Excuse me?” said Brood.

They rushed down a small waterfall. “That was boring,” yawned Mar.

They passed snowy scenes and the room became colder. “God, it got cold!” shivered Wolfie.

“It’s simulating snow!” said Amanda.

“I bet Alyssa would just hate this cause it’s not Rammstein cause Rammstein is all there is in the world and without Rammstein, the world would completely fall of it’s axis cause Till’s hotness keeps the eart-”

“I think you just need to fall in love again,” said Wolfie.

“We already talked that over,” said Amanda.

“No, I think she does,” said Wolfie as she pressed Mickey and Brittany to a kiss. Amanda, Alexa, Brood and Mar all screamed. “OH SHIT! I was meaning to do that with Brood!”

“WHAAAAAT!?” screamed Brood and Alexa as they slapped her at the same time.

“AWKWARD!” screamed Brittany and Mickey as the boat fell down the last waterfall.

They get off and they both run to the bathroom, while popping in some eclipse gum. Once in the bathroom, they began to wash their mouthes out.

“I don’t think Brittany is revolting,” said Mar.

“And Brittany, Mickey isn’t revolting either,” said Alexa.

“But we’re friends!” said Brittany.

“And that’s just wrong!” said Mickey.

They left the bathroom. “I know what would make you forgive me,” sighed Wolfie.

“What?” asked Mickey.

“Going to Germany,” said Wolfie.

“Eh,” said Mickey.

“And having Amanda try on some lederhosen,” said Wolfie.

“WOLFIE!” screamed Amanda.

“Damn it Amanda!” cried Wolfie. “I’m trying to make up for what I did!”

“So should you be the one to wear the lederhosen?” asked Amanda.

“Guys-” began Mickey.

“It wouldn’t be nearly as funny if I did it,” said Wolfie.

“Oh but with me it would be hilarious would it?” sneered Amanda.

“Um,” said Brittany.

“Pretty much,” said Wolfie.

“You guys just wanna go to Germany?” asked Alexa.

“Yeah, I don’t see these two stopping anytime soon,” sighed Mar.

Mickey, Brittany, Brood, Alexa and Mar all walked off to Germany.

“You are such a Princess!” growled Amanda. Wolfie gasped. “Mickey, we should take her to Fant-Mick?”

Amanda and Wolfie noticed the group had left them. Amanda sighed. “I guess you don’t have to dress me up, huh? Mickey and Brittany must be okay with each other!”

“No, you have to make-up for calling me princess,” said Wolfie as she and Amanda went off to Germany. They found the group in the restaurant. Brittany was eating some braughtworst. “Hey, um, Amanda is about to wear some lederhosen, don’t wanna miss it, so come on.”

“I’m trying to get a certain shot,” said Mickey.

Brittany, Brood, Alexa and Mar looked behind them. “Of what!?” cried Alexa.

“She’s been doing that the whole time we’ve been here!” cried Brittany. “It’s driving me nuts!”

“Driving?” said Brood. “I thought you were already nuts.”

Brittany smacked Brood. Wolfie shook her head and dragged Amanda off to the clothes shop. “Well, thank god there won’t be a million photos of me in lederhosen posted up on DA,” sighed Amanda.

“Oh, with the right pair, we’ll just need one shot,” smirked Wolfie.

About ten minutes later, Amanda found herself in the dressing room trying on a pair of lederhosen when the other’s came in.

“Mickey finally got the shot of we don’t know what,” smiled Alexa.

“Uh, Wolfie, this pair is a little too short,” said Amanda.

“You’re a woman, we can wear short things!” said Wolfie.

Amanda came out wearing an extremely short pair of lederhosen. Mickey picked up a hat off the rack nearby and placed a federhut on Amanda’s head.

“Now the outfit is complete!” laughed Mar.

“I’m changing!” cried Amanda as her friends snapped pictures of her. “I’m changing!”

They left Germany and turned into China. Alexa jumped up and down, clapping her hands. “Brood! Can I buy a chinese dress?”

“Why don’t you buy one yourself?” asked Amanda.

“I’m saving my money for something,” said Alexa.

“You guys can go pick out a dress together, we’ll go to Japan,” smiled Mickey. The rest of them walked into Japan and into the huge shop in Japan. “Kimonos!”

Mickey went running off to the kimono room. “Ooh! Swords!” cooed Brood.

“When did you get here?” asked Brittany.

“She bought me my dress already,” smiled Alexa. “Ooh! Pearls!”

“Japanese snack food!” cooed Mar walking off towards the food section.

Mickey was back in the kimono section trying on their last bridal kimono. She turned and saw Alan in the food department. “It a little long on you,” said the woman.

“Uh,” said Mickey who was too busy hoping Alan wouldn’t see her.

The woman left and came back with geta similar to the one’s worn in the kabuki scene of Memoirs of a Geisha. “Try these on.”

Mickey snapped out of it and saw the shoes. She slipped them on. “I love these shoes! I feel like a Japanese bride!”

“My japanese bride?” asked Alan.

Mickey’s excitement died. “How much for all this?”

“3,486 dollars,” said the woman.

“I only have a thousand,” sighed Mickey.

“I can buy it for you sweetie,” smirked Alan.

“Alright!” said Mickey. “But don’t call me sweetie.”

Alan handed the woman his credit card.

“Hey look!” said Brittany coming in with the rest of the group. “It’s an asshole!”

“Why no love for me?” asked Alan.

“Why no love for me?” asked Brood.

“Who are you?” asked Alan.

“The filthy witch,” said Brood.

“Oh.”

The woman gave Alan his credit card back and Mickey, Mar and Wolfie leave the store while Amanda, Brittany, Brood and Alexa pounce on him. Mickey, Wolfie and Mar entered the UK area of Epcot.

“Ra-hose candies!” hollered Mickey.

Amanda, Brittany, Brood and Alexa pushed Mickey out of the way. “Oh no you don’t!” laughed Amanda.

“What!?” cried Mickey.

“We don’t need you getting a sugar high,” laughed Amanda as she pushed Mickey into Paris.

“Ah, can we skip this land?” asked Mickey.

“Why?” asked Brood.

“Alex,” said Mickey.

“We sure can,” said Alexa as they walked into Canada.

Mickey smiled and sat on a bench in front of a stage. “Just in time.”

“Just in time for what?” asked Wolfie.

“Off Kilter!” smiled Mickey.

“Off Kilter?” asked Mar.

“Celtic Rock,” said Alexa. “Pretty good band.”

“Let’s watch,” said Brittany.

Off Kilter came on stage, already jamming out the tune Whiskey in the Jar.

“They are good!” chirped Alexa.

“Play Canadian songs!” booed Mar.

“They’re celtic rock!” shouted Mickey,

“Shut your fucking face uncle fucka!” sang Mar. “You’re a boner biting bastard uncle fucka!”

The guitarist in Off Kilter took his guitar off and threw it at Mar, who dodge it.

“Geez!” cried Amanda.

They snuck off to Africa. “Ice cream!” cried Mickey hugging a tiki post.

“That’s a tribal mask,” said Brood.

“It’s so creamy and thick and white,” purred Mickey. “It’s frothy and travels down my throat with ease.”

“Are we talking...about what...a...submarine is filled...with?” asked Brittany.

“Semen? Sperm?” said Amanda. “No, she’s talking about the ice cream.”

A random guy sitting out by the shop looks at his crotch, then throws Amanda a dirty look. “Thanks, that killed it bitch!”

Mickey bought the ice cream (vanilla) and they went off to Morocco. Mickey and Amanda squealed with delight.

“You guys okay?” asked Brood.

“IT’S SHIT MAN THE BARBARIAN!” screamed Mickey and Amanda and they collapsed laughing.

Alexa looked down on the two laughing girls. “Are you guys on crack or something?”

“I need to watch The Hills Have Eyes 2 again,” laughed Amanda.

“It’s back at the hotel,” laughed Mickey.
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